You're Never Just A 'Nobody'

After about a good hour and a half of crying, thinking and more crying, I attempt to stand up, but can't. I just physically can't get up. My body aches as I try again, this time actually getting somewhere. I look around my surroundings; nothing.
Nothing is all I need at a time like this. I feel worthless, like the whole universe has had enough of me, and leaves me to fend for myself.

It's fucking freezing out here. I didn't bring my jacket or coat. Dammit.
At least I'm wearing leggings. Yes. Not everything has turned against me.
I shuffle through a couple piles of leaves, making my way over to the main path that leads through the park. My eyes are probably red, my face stained with tears and my makeup looking dreadful. I shake the feeling away, keeping my head down as I make my way towards to university about 200m away.

I can't help but to think about Gerard. How fucking dare he. I honestly thought we had something, something big, and real.
'He's a total player' The words Maggie used to describe him. How damn right is she. God, you're such a hopeless soul. Never been able to get into a relationship with a decent man, with a decent life. No. You just have to go for the decent LOOKING people, with fucked up pasts and minds. This is why I only have Maggie in my life...

I make it to the grounds of the University. The gate is opened, so it's not 8pm yet. Good. Because I don't have my I.D on me. I stroll through the lobby and make my way over to my building. Because I'm so weak, I take the elevator, it's happy crappy music playing in the background. I sigh. Finally arriving at my floor level, I leave the elevator, waking to my room. I pause when I hear talking,

'So you have no fucking idea where she is?! She just walked out, acting fine?' I can make out person one to be Maggie.

'Yes. That's what I mean. He, came waking in and she left, obviously not being able to TAKE HIM, BECAUSE HES A COWARD THAT PLAYED WITH HER FEELINGS!' Voice number two shouts, I can only imagine it being Frank, talking about Gerard.

'Guys! Why can't we just go find her and I can apologize. I didn't even think she was into me! I thought she thought of me as a friend!' Voice three says, annoyance in his voice. It's Gerard.

'Apologize?! Gerard, she has no-fucking-body! She thought she could trust you! You even told me yourself you had feelings for her!! How fucking dare you!' Maggie spits at him, the tone in her voice if furious.

'DO YOU NOT THINK I STILL LIKE HER?! THERE WAS A POINT WHERE I WANTED TO TELL HER, BUT YOU-' Gerard says, pausing ever so slightly '- WERE FUCKING WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER!'

'I was comforting her!-' Franks cut off my Gerard raging voice.

'FROM WHAt?!'

'FROM FUCKING YOU!' Frank screams. Silence. That's all I can make out.
'Gerard, we know you're drinking again. We all know you are. We all know you're seeing Serenity again. Gerard, you can't keep doing this to us, to Ava. You need her as much as she need you, and you know that. Are you really going to go back to Serenity? She's a hoe Gerard, a fucking, dirty hoe. Ava, is who everyone wants to see you with, you're your best when around her, don't throw her away, Gee.' Frank says, with a much calming voice I hear Maggie agree and Gerard sigh.

'Fine, yeah. You're right. Im, so fucking sorry. I'm just in a bad place at the moment. I'll go out and find her.' I hear chairs shuffle and footsteps thump. I fumble over to the generators closet and slip in. As I shut the door I hear another open, moments later it shuts. I wait a couple more seconds and head off, knocking on my door.
Maggie swings the door open and gaps. Oh, do I really look that bad..?
She throws her arms over my shoulders, crying into my shirt how much she was worried about me. A few seconds later, Frank comes up to me and does the same, only this time whispering how much of a legend I am.

The release me and start bombarding me with questions, am I hurt. Where I was. If I'm okay.

"Guys I'm not hurt, on the outside that is" I reply back. They look hurt, yet confused. I ignore them and head towards the shower. I stripe down and relax, letting the hot water hit my body. Washing off every dirty part of me. After about 20 minutes I hop out and get dressed in some pajamas. I check my phone seeing the time is 8:22pm. Ugh. I'm starving. After fixing myself up I walk out to the kitchen, getting the attention of Maggie and Frank. I spot Gerard, his head down in his hands on the couch. Frank clears his throat and Gerard looks up, looking at me.

His eyes are bloodshot and red. Really red. His body relaxes when his eyes meet mine. The biggest smile is planted on his face. He makes his way over to me, arms out ready to hug me while saying my name, like it's his last hope in the world.

He comes closer to me, when he is just about to wrap his arms around my body, I fling my hand out and smack him, right in the face.

Notes

A/N

annnnnnnd I'll leave you with this c:

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Until we meet next time killjoys