Im Okay Now

**Gerard's pov**
I couldn't. My mind went crazy and I had no control over myself. She was such a beautiful girl and she thinks no one loves her. I can't even imagine being in her shoes. I have to keep constantly reminding myself that she is a student and it is illegal to think anything more for her but I just couldn't help it. The way her blue hair brought out her green eyes made me want to have her all to myself. She's a fucking student. Also the way she looked down at her feel whenever she smiles and laugh is so adorable, but every time she tries to hid it. I want to make laughing an everyday thing for her so she wouldn't have to feel like she needs to hide it. Gerard she is a fucking student. But the thing that captured my attention was the fact that she is being beaten and abused at home, never taught what love was, yet she is the sweetest person that I've met. She is always polite and shows she cares.i don't care if she's a student, I need her in my life. All of a sudden my mind took over and next thing I knew my lips where connected to hers. I panicked for a second when she just sat there and didn't kiss back, but when she did... Oh god when she did I felt incredible. Her lips where so warm and soft I could kiss her all day! That was when it hit me. I was in love with my student.
When she pulled away from my kiss I realized what I just done.
"Holy shit I'm so sorry" I began as I threw my self off the bed "I- I just- I'm sorry" was all I can say before I ran out of the bedroom. What have I done!? Yes I like her but why did I show it! The next thing I could think of was getting fresh air, becoming aware that it was hard to breath so I charged down the stairs, and out the house. It felt like everything inside of me just disappeared and I lost all train of thought. What I have I done!? Oh My Fuck I'm such a pedafile! I needed to blow off some steam but how? I ran all the way down the street with all my energy and wouldn't stop even if I felt my sweat coming out from every pore in my body and it was as if My heart was about to give out. Finally after thirty muinets of sprinting with no stop, I slowed down when I was two towns away from her. Two towns away from the woman I was in love with.

**Katy's pov**
What did I do that made him hate me so much that he ran away? Another reason why I'm a fail at life, everyone that I know runs away from me. I felt a tear run down my cheek but before I wipe it up, many more followed. I don't know what to think. It's just- I felt so happy when I was with him, even when we where talking about my past. And now he probably hates me and doesn't want to see me ever again. Then again I don't blame him, I'm a mess inside out. But why would he kiss me? The tears kept falling on my lap and it was no use trying to stop them now. I needed to get this out of my head, I slowly reached into my bag and pulled out my razor that I kept in the hidden pocket at the bottom. I felt the sharp blade touch my skin but I didn't put any pressure on it. I've don't this so many times why can't i do it now!? I felt panic build up in my mind so I went to the person I trusted the most. Mikey.
The hallways of the house didn't creep as I walked over to the other bedroom. I held the razor between my fist as I quietly knocked on the door and waited for a response. Nothing. I knocked again but this time a little louder and still heard silence. Giving up I slowly twisted I door handle and walked in.
"Mikey?" My voice cracked as I felt another round of tears fall. I let out a little whimper that was loud enough to wake him up. Finally. He suddenly bolted awake and looked at me before turning in the light.
"Katy!? Are you alright? What's wrong?" He asked with his eyes full of concern as he fixed his back to sit upright.
"I fell like cutting myself" I said looking down at the floor in shame. He got out from under the covers and came to my side wrapping his arms around me in a soft hug. He felt like Gerard. "And why do you feel like that"
"I don't know" It was my first lie that I told Mikey and I felt horrible about it but I wasn't ready to tell him the truth. How do you tell your best friend that you just kissed his brother and fucking enjoyed it? Suddenly I felt my whole body weaken. I became very light headed as I felt the razor drop out of my hand and onto the floor. Then my feet did the same thing with my body.

Notes

Hey guys!!!!!!!!!!! Idk where I'm going with this book so whatever. Ummm I have the next chapter finished so if you want me to post it today then I will for y'all. PLEASE please tell me what you think in the comments and subscribe and rate because it makes me happy!!!!!!!!