Im Okay Now

"Hey I didn't mean to wake you" he said
"Don't worry you didn't" I replied as I tugged the covers over me. He slowly walked over the the end of the bed and sat down. I just stared at him as he glanced up at the ceiling, the silence got even more awkward by the second. I sat up stright so it would be easier to talk to him.
"so what kind of bands are you into" I asked him trying to break the awkward silence. A smile appeared on his face and it was the most beautiful smile I have ever witnessed. Wait I couldent be- no I wasent- was I in love?
"well.." He began showing off his eyes as they met mine. I could feel my heart start to beat faster more every second I was with him.
We had this amazing conversation about our favorite music artists and bands, it turns out we had a lot more in common then I thought, which was great, finally someone out there like me. After our conversation we went to silence, it wasent weird, more like beautiful. We could even hear the night birds chirp outside the window. a minute or so later he broke it. "You know the cuts on your arm... Where they ever actually from... You doing that to yourself?" He knew that this was a sensitive subject for me, but why did he bring it up? It was hard for me to even think about that, let alone talk about it. I really wish I could just close my eyes and skip over that question, but after all he is doing for me, the least I could do is answer his damn question. His beautiful hazel eyes met mine but I just looked down in shame. "Some of them.. Not a lot though. Its just" I slowly got out from under the covers and sat down right next to him, then continued to talk. "My dad tells me, that I'm a worthless piece of shit, and sometimes, well.. I believe him." I struggled to get the words out, I felt so ashamed of myself, how can I say that in front of him? He must think I'm a screwed up teenager now who is only seeking attention. I curled up into a ball, putting my head between my knees, and held back in all the tears that where trying to escape from my eyes.
"Hon, your not worthless. Your anything but." He said in such a soft voice. I looked up at him to see his gorgeous face looking at me. No one ever looked at me the way he dose, it was almost as if he cared about me, like he actually wanted to help me. Like he knew what I was feeling. I felt his warm arms wrap around my cold body, as he pulled me in close. It was the best feeling in the world. I actually felt like I could trust him, and Katy doesn't trust anyone.
"But I am worthless, no one loves me. My dad knows I can't do anything right, and my sister forgets I even exist, I only have two friends and they are the only ones that pay attention to my existence, sometimes I just can't take it anymore" I choked out. More tears fell from my eyes and off my check. As good as it felt letting go of all my thoughts and emotions, it still hurt to talk about it.
"Your not worthless" he said with his voice getting louder with every word that slipped out of his mouth. He made it clear that he was getting very frustrated with me and I don't blame him, he's spending so much time on someone that doesn't even matter, but why didn't he give up on me yet like everyone els did?
"Yes I am" I screamed as I released myself from his warm hug. I was getting very angry with myself so I did what I always did when I become scared and/frustrated, I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down, and thankfully it worked. I took in a deep breath and reopened them only too feel Gerard's soft lips crash onto mine. What? I was very confused, but once when I put my mind together and realized what was happening, I kissed him back. Our lips moved together and I can taste the smell of coffee that came from his mouth. He was such a good kisser, omg. I really wish that we can stay in this moment forever, it was just so perfect. I felt his hand slowly move down my back and stopped at my waist, feeling him start to put some more passion into the kiss as I did in return. Then it hit me. This is my music teacher! My best friends brother! What was I doing!

Notes

2/24/14
Hey guys! How are you doing!?
•okay to start off, I apologize for the crappy kissing scene or what ever you guys call it. To be honest, umm.... I never actually kissed anyone like that..... But im still a teenager so I guess it's okay! (I'm not going to tell you my age because I don't want any of you older viewers to think less of me) so basically I base the kissing off of other fan fics that I read... Hopefully it wasn't too bad......
ANYWAY! Comment, rate, and subscribe!!!!!! it makes me really happy!!!! Also if you have any suggestions for me I would be glad to hear all of them, or even if u just tell me what's on your mind that would be great too!
•I'll be posting the next chapter either tomorrow or Wednesday