The Only Hope For Me Is You

"What did you just say to me?" Shit what did I just say?

The rage on his face causes my mind to go blank, I stand there staring at him dumbly and completely mortified by his sudden outburst. He lunges forward and grabs my arm,

"Frank, answer me." As his grip on my arm intensifies, the pain brings me back to reality.

"Uh, I-I asked why did you want to kill yourself?" It ends up sounding like a question rather than a statement. At this point Gerard's fingers are violently digging into my upper arm, I wince at the pain.

"Ow Gerard, you're hurting me!" I try to pry his fingers off me but he doesn't budge. I take my eyes off my arm to look at his hazel pools of anger.

"That's what I thought you said." He quickly releases his grip on my arm and runs both hands through his bright red hair while pacing in a small circle around himself.

"Why would you say something like that to me?" I take a step back while caressing my throbbing arm,

"I found this paper in your room and-" he stops pacing and shoots me a look,

"You were looking through my stuff?" I shake my head and hold up my hands,

"No no no, I was cleaning-"

"You know, I hate it when people go through my stuff Frank!" what the fuck is his problem?

"Gerard, just listen-"

"No, YOU listen! I don't want people going through my room Frank!"

"What the fuck Gerard? You were drunk off your ass and I decided to be a good friend and clean up your room for you and I found a letter about you wanting to kill yourself! I didn't go through your shit! If it were up to me I wish I never found the shit in the first fucking place! So I think you need to calm the fuck down because I didn't have to help you out!" I shout flailing my arms,

"This is exactly why I don't want just anybody going through my stuff without me knowing or while I'm sleeping! Because they find shit and THIS happens!" He says gesturing in my general direction with his hands.

"Well, sorry for wanting to help you out GERARD!" I shout, putting extra emphasis on his name as I feel tears of frustration about to overflow and fall down my cheeks,

"And since when am I just anybody? I'm supposed to be your best friend remember? Or was that all just bullshit for a fucking interview?"

"Frank, don't go there with me. You know you're my best friend don't ever question my friendship with you!" He shouts at me,

"Well, I don't feel like I'm your best friend! Because if I was you wouldn't try to hide things from me and you sure as hell wouldn't want to kill yourself Gerard!" I scream with tears streaming down my face,

"What are you trying to say Frank?" I look away from him, and shrug. Gerard takes a step closer to me,

"Frank." I run my hand through my hair, sighing. Gerard inches forward, attempting to grab my wrist.

"Frank, what are you saying?" I slowly move my wrist behind me and out of his grasp.

"Look Gerard, I just feel like we've been real distant with each other lately."

"Frank." He says, his voice stern. I look up at sheepishly through the hair that has fallen over my eyes.

"This friendship is all I have. This is the only thing in my life that's been constant. You can't take it away from me Frank." I push my hair out of my face and tuck it behind my ear,

"Look, Gee. I just think-"

"Frank! Gerard!" I'm interrupted by distant shouts,

"Fuck, it's the guys." My gaze follows Gerard's and I see Bob, Ray, and Mikey jogging down the block.

Shit, my eyes are probably red and puffy. I really don't want to be questioned about tears right now. Not when I basically told my friend since childhood I don't wanna be his friend anymore.

"Shit." I turn in the opposite direction, wiping my eyes and fanning my eyes frantically, Gerard offers me the sunglasses he had hanging on the collar of his shirt.

"Here." I take them awkwardly, yet discreetly so the guys won't notice.

"Thanks,"

"We'll talk about this later." I put the glasses on and nod,

"Sure." The guys slow down as they near us, then it hits me. How the fuck am I gonna explain storming out the interview to them without bringing up the letter? That's almost impossible!

Gerard senses my distress and whispers to me,

"It's okay, just play along." He puts his arm around my shoulders and waves to the guys with his other hand, smiling as if nothing happened. "Hey guys!"

I look up at him, completely mesmerized by his ability to change emotions so effortlessly. I wonder how many times he's acted like nothing was wrong while I was around.

Notes

Short chapter I know, BUT I go on vacation wednesday so I'll be updating more often! Comment, vote, and subscribe please :3