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The Only Hope For Me Is You

It Was A Lie When You Smiled.

I wake up to the sound of an alarm and notice I'm no longer in Ray's arms. Not only am I not in his arms, I'm not even on the couch. I blink a couple of times to allow my vision to become clear. Noticing the familiar beige color of my bedroom walls I realize I'm in my bed. I push myself up into a sitting position and cringe at the pain in my head. I bring my hand up to my forehead and squeeze my eyes shut. Crap my head is pounding like a bitch.

Frustrated by the constant beeping of my alarm I stretch my arm over to my side table and turn off my alarm. I swing my legs over the side of my bed allowing them to dangle over the edge as I run my hand through my hair, untangling it. Then I released, I never set an alarm. My grogginess disappears and is immediately replaced with confusion. I look at the clock and see it's 7:02 in the morning, next to the clock is a piece of paper folded up with 'Frank' written on it. I reach over and open the piece of paper.

Hey Frank, you fell asleep last night and I had to carry you up to your bed. It wasn't easy, you're small but very heavy. You even farted on my hand dude, gross. Anyway I set an alarm for you because I'll be coming over at 8:00 to drive you the Alternative Press interview. You better be ready by 8:00 you ass hat.

I smile at Ray's choice of words, as I fold the note back up again and stuff it in the top draw of my side table. I decide to get up and shuffle over to my dresser and pull out a white tee shirt, red hoodie, and a random pair of jeans. Leave it to Ray to wait until the last minute to tell me we have an interview.

Taking off my shirt, I check to see if I have enough time to take a shower. 7:12, no way, I pull on my white tee and replace my pants as well. I grab some cologne and spray myself vigorously, I hate the way it smells but it's better than smelling like sweat. The smell of the cologne reminds me of my headache, so I fling my sweater over my shoulder and start walking down the steps. Halfway down the flight of steps I notice I don't have on any shoes. I groan and turn to put on a pair of black and white converse. Before going back downstairs I notice my phone is vibrating on my dresser. I grab it and see Gerard is calling me, the events of last night flood back into my mind causing my mood to decrease by at least half. I decide to pick up before my thoughts get the best of me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, morning Frankie!" Woah, he sounds.. Not hung over.. That information causes my mood to lighten just a bit,

"Morning Gee."

"I just wanted to thank you for last night, I know how much of an asshole when I'm drunk-" he started rambling. Usually this would amuse me, but I couldn't bring myself to hear him thank me for last night.

"Hey don't thank me, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help you out." I start to walk downstairs again and open the refrigerator taking out a bottle of water.

"No Frank, seriously. I've never actually properly thanked you for all the times you had to go out of your way to make sure I got home safely." I grab my bottle of painkillers, taking out one white pill and putting it in my mouth. I push the pill up against my cheek with my tongue before replying to him.

"Gee, you don't have to thank-" he huffs sharply before cutting me off, as I unscrew the top of my water bottle.

"No no no, Frank. Stop talking and listen to me will ya? I know I don't 'have' to thank you. But I want to, I honestly and genuinely want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Not only for last night, but for everything." I place the bottle to my lips, allowing water to flood my mouth, and swallow the pill. I put the cap back on the bottle and place it on my kitchen counter. I furrow my eyebrows as he finished his last sentence.

"Everything?" I say, implying I wanted him to evaluate his choice of words.

"I mean, for being there for me whenever you could, and being my best friend."

whenever I could? Did that mean I wasn't always there for him when he needed me? Was I only there when it was convenient for me? Is that why he felt alone? Is that why he turned to alcohol? Is that why he wants to kill himself? My thoughts are interrupted by Gerard's voice in my ear.

"Hello Frankie? Hellooooo?" I switch the phone from my left hand to my right,

"Yeah, I'm here. I can hear you." I can almost hear the smile on Gerard's face.

"Well come outside then!" Come outside? I then remember I was supposed to be ready by eight, I remove the phone from my ear and check the time, 7:42. I put phone back to my face and reply.

"Okay, you guys are kind of early though." Gerard chuckles and I start to put on my sweater.

"You complain when we pick you up late, you complain when we pick you up early. I don't know what you want anymore, so I'm gonna hang up because we're in front of your house now. I expect to see you out that door in one minute." I laugh and reply,

"I'm pretty sure I don't complain that much, and I'll be right out 'mom'."

"Yeah you really do, bye Frankie. Well, I mean, see you later? Well, in like 30 seconds-" A smile spreads across my face and I listen to his ridiculous stammering, I put him out of his misery.

"I'm hanging up Gee." He let's out a sigh of relief, and laughs at his awkwardness.

"Me too." I take the phone from my face and hang up. I put the phone on the counter in front of me and I smile while running my hand through my hair. Maybe I overreacted. What if it wasn't a suicide note? Maybe he was just writing a new song? I mean, he seems pretty okay. Minus the excessive drinking. Ray's furious honking pulled me out of my pool of thoughts. I snatch my phone off the counter and side it into my back pocket. Shrugging into my sweat shirt, I pick up my keys and jog to the front door. As I open it the sunlight almost blinds me. Should have brought my sunglasses. As soon as Ray sees me he honks a couple more times. Turning to lock the door, I yell over my shoulder while fumbling with my keys.

"Shut up dude! I'm coming!" I finally finish locking the door and I start jogging toward Ray's car. I make eye contact with him and he mouths,

"You okay?" I reply with a smile and a slight nod. As I near the car my keys fall out of my sweater pocket, I turn and bend down to pick them up. As I do Ray honks again, I start speed walking to him with my finger pointed.

"Honk at me one more time Toro, and I swear I will break my foot off in your ass!" He smirks at me and honks one last time, I groan violently in frustration and he throws back his head in laughter.

I approach the car and open the back door, I raise my eyebrows and ask,

"Um, how am I supposed to fit in here? There's no space!" Gerard straightens up and pats his lap,

"Here, sit on my lap." I look at him questionably.

"Are you sure?"

"Unless you want to be strapped to the hood of the car you kind of have no choice." Giving in to Gerard, I climb in the car and position myself on Gerard's lap. As if through instinct, he wraps his arms around my waist and interlocks his fingers. I look around the car and see Bob sitting in the front seat next to Ray. He turns and waves at me,

"Hey Frank." I smile and wave back,

"Hey Bobert." He rolls his eyes as he turns back around. I chuckled as I look at Mikey, he's stretched across half of the back seat with his mouth open and head back. I lean over a little closer to get a better look at his face. His eyes are closed and he's definitely sleeping. I lean back and return to my original position in Gerard's lap as Ray starts up the car. When he puts he car in motion I turn to face Gerard. He looks up at me and we remain like this for a while. He smiles and tilts his head to the side.

"What?"

"Nothing." I say, never breaking the eye contact with him. He starts shaking his leg, causing me to bounce up and down. I laugh and try to stop the shaking by pushing down on his knee, breaking the eye contact as my eyes narrow when my smile spreads. He decides to stop shaking and I look back at him smiling, but he isn't. I can't read his face, it's just very intense staring. But his facial features are softened. I can't explain it, my smile leaves just as quick as it came. Did I do something wrong?

"What happened?" He shakes his head slowly and furrows his eyebrows as if he was in deep thought.

"No, it's nothing it's just-" he stops himself, "nevermind, I'll tell you later on."

"Why later?"

"Because I'm not ready."

"Not ready for what?" I ask questioningly

"For what might happen when I do decide to tell you." Will he tell me about his suicidal tendencies? Wait what if he isn't even suicidal? Should I ask him about the letter rather than wait for him to bring it up? What if he gets mad at me for going through his stuff? But I really wasn't, I was cleaning for him and I just found it. I have to ask him. I want him to know I'm here for him just like he was there for me. I ask him, not now though. Not in front of the guys. I nod, and pat his knee.

"Okay Gee, just let me know whenever you're ready to talk to me about that hideous sore on your ass." I say trying to change the topic for our sake. His lips curl up into a enormous grin, baring both rows of front teeth, and his cheeks rise, causing his eyes to narrow as he lets out his adorable laugh, causing me to smile and admire his happiness.

Ray pulls into the parking lot of out recording studio and stops at our parking spot.

"Okay, everyone out." He says as he turns off the engine. Him and Bob are the first ones out of the car. I open the car door and attempt to get out but Gerard still has his arms wrapped around me. I try to separate his fingers in order to free myself, and he finally releases me,

"Oh I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," I say as I hop out the car and on to the concrete. Once I'm out Gerard wakes up Mikey and he manages to drag himself out of the car. I start walking to catch up with Ray and Bob when I feel a arm wrap around my shoulder, I turn and see Gerard smiling next to me looking ahead. I allow a slight smirk to take place on my face, I wish this happiness was real instead of just some show to hide it from everyone. Why would he hide his feelings from me, I'm his best friend. RIght?

When we enter the building we are greeted by an intern who is obviously a fan, judging by her nervousness.

"Good morning gentlemen, I'm Lauren. Please follow me." She starts to walk and I can see her hand shaking as she hold her clipboard, I suppress a laugh and Gerard elbows me in the ribs and gives me a disapproving look. We enter the room and Lauren turns to us,

"Feel free to sit where ever you like, Christian will be here to interview you in a moment." I smile at her and hold out my hand,

"Thank you Lauren," she suppresses her excitement and shakes my hand.

"Your welcome Mr.Iero." I bring her in for a hug and this causes the other guys to do the same.

"Thank you, have a nice day gentlemen," she says trying to maintain her a professional manner, but as she leaves the room I see tears of happiness on the rim of her eyes.

After Lauren leaves the room, a man I presume is Christian enters with a clip board and various mini mics.

"Hello, I'm Christian. I'll be interviewing you today. Can I get you anything before we begin?" Mikey stops looking out the window and turns to Christian abruptly,

"I am in desperate need of coffee, can I get some? If it's not too much to ask." Christian nods and gives Mikey a pleasant smile,

"Sure, no problem. How would you like it?" Mikey taps his chin and thinks for a while,

"Oh, French Vanilla with two sugars and whipped cream." Christian walks over to his desk and presses a button on the phone,

"Lauren, can you please bring me a French Vanilla coffee with two sugars and whipped cream for Mr. Mikey Way?" A couple of seconds pass and Lauren's voice is heard through the phone,

"Yes Mr. Morrison, I'll be right there." Christian removes his finger from the button and and walks toward us with his mics,

"Thanks." Mikey says politely,

"No problem Mr. Way, and I'm pretty sure you guys know how to put on these mics." He hand a mic to each of us, "so please put these on, and we'll start shortly." We obediently put on the mics as a man with a camera walks in, behind him is Lauren with Mikey's coffee. She walks past the man with the camera swiftly and carefully hands Mikey the coffee. He takes a slow sip and rolls his eyes in exaggerated pleasure.

"This is amazing, thank you so much." Lauren grins,

"You're welcome Mr. Way." She turns and leaves the room as swiftly as she came in. The man with the camera had finished setting up,

"This is Dave," Dave looks up from behind the camera and waves, "he will be helping me this morning. Please take a seat and we'll begin." We all make our way to the couch, I sit on the far left with Gerard next to me. Mikey, Bob, and Ray sit in that order beside Gerard filling up the rest of the couch. Christian sits in a chair facing next to us and begins,

"Okay Dave ready?" Dave nods, and starts counting down on his fingers. I heart starts to race, I hate interviews. They always make me extremely nervous. What if I say something wrong? I start to focus on my breathing in an attempt to escape my constant pestering thoughts when I feel a hand on my knee, I smile and look at Gerard.

"You'll be fine." He whispers to me,

"Thanks." He pats my knee and puts his hand back on his lap. Classic gee, always there for me. Even if he is falling apart.

Dave finishes counting and we all mechanically smile into the camera. Christian looks into the camera and starts it off,

"I'm Christian Morrison from Alternative Press, and I'm here with the men of the My Chemical Romance. Thanks from coming today guys." Gerard crosses his legs and puts on arm behind my head resting it on the couch.

"Thanks for having us Christian."

Notes

Sorry so so sorry for the painfully slow updates. Might upload a short chapter today or tomorrow.

Comments

Ya-Fucking-Ay

You're back! YEY! Love this fic!
xx

@mychemicalrhapsody
Thanks!

@mamaweallgotohell
I really want to tell you, but I don't want to mess it up for those who haven't read this yet by putting the answer in the comments you know? I'm sorry but I'll tell you exactly where to find that little part that will answer your question. It's toward the end of chapter 10 (I Miss Them All Tonight) sorry for confusing you if I did!

Wait sorry I forgot who Vincent is and I'm too lazy to comb through all the chapters to find out, I'm assuming he is an imaginary friend? Something like that?