The Only Hope For Me Is You

I place my left hand on Gerard's lower
back. With his right arm draped over my shoulder I intertwine my fingers with his. My hair covers my eyes as I look down to help him up the steps of his front porch. I struggle to keep him on balance and pat his pockets to find his keys. He chuckles,
"Woah, straight to third base Frank?"
As he talks, the strong smell of Jack Daniels makes my eyes water. I scrunch my nose and turn away,
"Ugh dude. You smell horrible."
He laughs and starts to babble. I find his keys and fumble with the lock until I hear a click. I put the keys in the front pocket of his black sweat shirt and push the door open to reveal the all too familiar interior of his home. Leaving the door wide open, I lead Gerard through the darkened hallways of his house until I reach his bedroom door. I push it open with my foot, almost loosing my balance with Gerard's weight on me. I lead him to his bed, grabbing the corner of his quilt and flipping it over. With my arms wrapped around Gerard's torso, I steady him so he could sit on his bed. I grab his legs and help him lay down, putting a pillow under his head then covering him with the quilt.
"Thanks Frankie."
He mumbles with his eyes closed. I move his sweat soaked hair off his face, and run my fingers through his moist hair,
"No problem Gee, just get some rest okay?"
"Kay,"
He rolls over on his side and I pull the sheet up around his shoulders and rub his back,
"Night Gee."
"Night Frankie."
He replies tiredly. I look at the clock on his desk, 3:21 am.
I really need to get home.
It doesn't take long for his breathing to steady, I then notice how filthy his room is.
"Animal,"
I mutter to myself as I pick up randomly thrown about paper balls off the floor and put them in the trash bin. Next, I put his comic books back in his shelves. I walk over to his desk, and carefully put his colored pencils and pens back into their boxes and organize his papers into a pile. But then I notice something about these papers. These aren't even drawings, they're random words and phrases:
Voices.
Sick of this.
Needless.
Get out.
They caught me.
Help.
Becoming increasingly concerned, I shuffle through all the papers, it's the same thing. Until I get to the last paper, it looks like it was ripped out of a book:
Slowly I'm spiraling,
out of control.
With no room to breathe,
and no where to go.
Happiness was but a dream,
just beyond my reach.
Now emptiness consumes me,
like a blood-sucking leech.
It's seduction is too much,
for anyone to bare.
Yet time and time again,
I allowed myself to care.
I want to surrender,
I no longer want to fight.
Perhaps that is wrong,
but it feels perfectly right.
The temptation is too great,
to resist giving in.
I have nothing left within me,
should I just let this chaos win?
I run my fingers over the last line and I could feel how hard he pressed down with his pen on the page, the amount of rage and sadness he was feeling. Putting the paper back on his desk, I cover my mouth,
"No no no."
I whisper as I turn to look at my best friend sound asleep. I feel immediate pain and sadness wash over me. I know I have to leave before I wake him up.
I walk to my car, my body feeling numb and my thoughts racing. I start to drive home, stopping at a red light as my thoughts get the best of me,
My best friend is a drunk.. a self-destructive, suicidal, drunk.
My eyes start to water,
He shouldn't have to feel alcohol is the only way for him to feel good about himself.
The light turns green, I slowly put my foot on the gas.
Or feel as if suicide is the only way for his life to get better.
I increase pressure on the pedal, aware of my increasing speed but not feeling how fast I was going. I blow past two red lights, only slamming on the breaks when a car passes through the intersection. My chest begins to heave in and out as my numbness fades and I begin to grasp the reality of the situation.
I can't be so selfish, he helped me when I was severely depressed. Now it's my turn to help him. He needs his best friend. He needs me.
I put my face in my hands and lean my forehead against the steering wheel as my face gets soaked with tears.
And most of all, I need him,
"I can't let him destroy himself. I can't,"

Notes

This is my first fanfic, so please be kind! I'd really like comments to let me know how I'm doing! Thanks!