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Tuck your hair behind your ears

Whatever gets you through the night

Frank:

Flicking my lighter hopelessly, I looked around to see if anyone was 1) in the park 2) had a light I could borrow. Over by the river on a bench I saw a small whips of smoke emerge from a young mans lips. I approached him from behind, just in case he recognised me and tried to send me back to my foster home.

He handed over a fairly old looking zippo lighter with numerous scratches and small dark patches from where he held it the same way each time it was used. The small flame erupted, and lit the end of my cigarette. I breathed in a few lungfuls and felt the familiar sensation wash over me.

I handed back his lighter, my arms not quite reaching far enough (curse my small genetics). He reached out to take it back from me, exposing slightly the flesh under his jacket sleeves. It was getting slightly dark but I'm fairly sure he had dark lines running across that smooth skin. I'm so used to seeing it- almost all the kids at the home had scars, (it was weird to think that I was one of the only sane ones there, and now I'm planning to kill myself) - I didn't react to it, I'm sure he knows that they are there and doesn't need me to ask him about it. His eyes were dull, but gave off a warm aura, he appeared to be absorbing the sights around him. (He must be new to the area I thought, no one here gives a shit about this place, and if they do they avoid the bridge like the plague)

I wondered off, leaving him to his own world. I found my pile of muddy blankets where I had left them, just off the path leading under the bridge and tucked myself up as best I could trying to keep the inevitable cold out.

Fuck it got cold. Really really cold. Colder than it has all year. I thought about my 'life'. My lack of friends, my lack of job, lack of money, food and love. I also thought about what I said to myself earlier, do I really want to live another week like this? To find myself another shitty job where all that will happen is abuse and all I'll come back to at the end of the day will be either the shelter or this?

I decided fairly quickly that I almost defiantly did not want that. Life for me is just not worth it. No one cares about me and no one likes me. I might as well just do it now and get it offer with.