The innocence of our being

"So, Frank, I'm guessing Gerard didn't get better for a while?" My therapist asked me. "No, in fact, he seemed to be getting worse. He could barely even go to the bathroom without having someone help him."
***Flashback***
"Gerard, I feel like you're not getting better. Is the chemo making it worse?" I asked him. "No, Frank. The chemo is helping me out a ton, it just makes me feel a little sick sometimes. I'll be fine, love." He said in a raspy voice.
"Pinky promise?" I said and stuck my pinky out. He smiled at me and hooked his pinky with mine. "You do realize im depending on this promise, right Gee?" I asked him. He closed his eyes and unhooked his pinky. "Frank, I don't know if I can keep that promise." I looked at him with a sad smile. "Gerard, you are going to live a long, healthy life. You are going to get married and have kids. You're going to be an absolutely amazing father. You are going to die an old man with several grand kids, and we will look back at this moment, and smile knowing you are so much better." I told him. He looked up and his eyes met mine. His eyes were lifeless. The once bright, hazel eyes were now just a dull light brown. "Frank, thank you so much for being here with me through all of this. I love you so much and I don't know what I would do without you. If you weren't with me, I would probably have killed myself the second I found out I have cancer." He said. I felt my eyes fill with tears.
The door opened and Gerard's doctor walked in. "Good afternoon, Boys. Frank, would you mind if I talked to Gerard alone for a moment please?" He said. I nodded and leaned down and kissed Gerard, then walked out of the room and to the waiting room.

I sat down and pulled out my phone. I had a text from Jaymie.
Jaimes: Frankie, are you at the hospital? You need to leave and get some fresh air. I'm on my way to get you.
Frnk:No, it's fine. I'm okay. I'm not leaving Gee. He's in a lot of pain.
Jaimes:Can't text. Driving. see ya soon.

I rolled my eyes and put my phone away. I waited about 10 more minutes and then I walked back into the room. Just as I was going in, the doctor was walking out. "Good afternoon, Frank." He said. "After noon." I replied and walked in. I walked to my chair that was right by Gee's bed. "So what did he say?"I asked. "Oh, just the usual. Need to sleep more, eat more, and oh you have cancer." I giggled a bit and then the door opened. I looked and saw Jaymie standing in the doorway. "Hello Frankie, Gerard." She said and waved to both of us. "Hi Jaymie, what brings you here?" Gee asked her. She marched over to my side and grabbed my arm and yanked me up out of my chair. "I just came to get Frank. He needs to get out and do something. Is that okay?" She asked him. "Oh, yeah it's totally fine. I actually agree with you, he does need to get out and do something fun." Before I could protest, Jaimes was dragging me out of the room while Gerard waved at me.

She dragged me all the way to her car. "Where are we going?" I asked as I got in. "It's a surprise." She said as she started the car. I tried to talk again but she turned the music up super loud and started singing to it.

Turns out the surprise was just taking me out to dinner. We went to a Chinese food restaurant and sat across from eachother in a booth. "So how's Gerard?" She asked me. "He's in a lot of pain. He's starting to lose his hair, and his skin is really thin. I can see a lot of his veins." I said. "Aww, poor dear. He definitely had the best hair in the group. Even better than Jack's." I started laughing really loud at that, and some people stared at us. "Wow, I really missed just hanging out with you, Jaymie. I've just been so caught up in helping Gerard, that I'm starting to ignore everyone else." She smiled at me. "Frank, no one is mad at you. We completely understand. I mean, the person you love is laying a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of machines."
"I know, and I feel super bad for leaving just to come here." I said.
"Don't worry, Frankie. We will bring some food back for him." She said. I smiled and we ordered and ate our food while having small talk, then she dropped me off at the hospital and I thanked her.
I went back into the hospital room and Gerard was sitting on his bed crying. I put the food on the table and walked over to him. "Baby, what's wrong?" I asked him.
"Frank, I think we need to break up." He said. I felt tears pooling in my eyes. "W-Why?" I asked him.
"Frank, I'm holding you down. You're going to fail school because you are always here and you're losing all of your friends because you don't talk to them anymore since you are always with me."
"Gee, my friends get it. Jaimes told me that they understand, and I do my homework when you're asleep so I'm not going to fail."
"Well that's not all. I don't want you to be sad when I die. I don't want you to stay with me and be my boyfriend because I know I'm going to die and I don't want you to get more attached than you already are.I don't want to hurt you."
"Gerard. You're not going to die. Stop saying that. You are going to grow old and gray, and it's going to be with me."
"NO FRANK!" I jumped a little. "I'm not going to live. Stop fucking lying like that to me." The tears started streaming down my cheeks. "Why are you so sure that you're going to die?" I asked him. "Because, Frank. When my doctor came in here earlier, he didn't just tell me the usual. He told me my life expectancy."
"H-How long is it?"
"2 months."

Notes

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