Beautiful Distraction

remember back to when you were a little girl. you always said you wanted to be a movie star or a singer or something like that. but i don't think any girl ever said that when they grew up they wanted to be a criminal. i know i didn't. but i guess not very many people turn out to be famous anyways, well you could say that i'm famous. well, me and my partner. wanted all over the country and for different things too. theft, murder, sometimes illegal drugs. but i didn't really choose this life. i guess you could say it chose me.

***3 years prior***

i had e-fucking-nough. just of life. parents, school, my so called friends. i was done with all of it. you had no idea how much i just wanted to get away from it all. my parents were alcoholics and abused me, i was constantly bullied at school and my "friends" betrayed me when the most poular chick in school, Brooklyn Porter thretened to talk shit about them iif they didn't stop hanging out with me. never knew why she hated me so much. so i had had enough.
i had 2 options in my head. suicide or i could run away, or put myself up for adoption. so i guess 3 options. but i just knew i needed to get away from my old life. i had packed everything that i needed to alteast survive. my phone, clothes, some tolietries,two packs of ciggeretes and a lighter, my skateboard for tranportation and about 500 dollars i had in saving plus 100 i stole from my mom.
it was a friday, at about 11 pm. i had all my things packed in a duffel bag. i had thought it ovver a few times, whether i wanted to actually leave or not, but hoonestly, who would miss me if i stayed? my parents hate me, i have exactly no friends and at school i feel like i am in fucking hell.
i opened my bedroom window and took one last look at the little room athat i had grew up in. and the old life i used to live in. 2 things that i would never see again for the rest of my life. since i lived in the basement, it was kind of hard to crawl out of my tiny window that i could barely squeeze my hips through. after a minute or two of struggling, i was out. and free, but also alone.
two weeks i traveled. two fucking weeks. i used my money wisely, only using it for food or a motel every few days. but i had got to a point where i wished i really was dead. i had no home, no family, no friends and eventually was going to run out of money. i was a town over from my old house. a fairly big one too. all i could do at that point was sit at a building and pull out a cigg and my lighter. i put the cigg in between my lips and held the lighter to the end of it watching it start to smoke followed by a long drag and a puff of smoke. i had smoked for about 2 years at that point. i had gone to a concert and some dude offered me one. i was stupid and a teen so i accepted and now i do it everyday.
so, i sat beside i think it was a 3 story Target. people passing by everyfew seconds. the sun was just setting but there were quite a lot of clouds in the sky. i thought i heard thunder when the first few drops of rain started to fall. it began to rain heavier untill it was completly pouring. my cigg was out and i was drenched. fuck you mother nature.
quickly i zipped up my bag so none of my stuff got ruined and simply sat there. pissed off and drenched. but hey it beats being beaten and yelled at by drunken parents any day.
i was then regreting my disision to even do this i should've just ended my life. threr would just be no more anything and i would be okay with that. just pure bliss.
so here's me sitting on the street corner planing my death in the middle of the rain. no home, no family so yeah, pretty sad. but it took me a moment to relise that someone had been trying to get my attention for at least half a minute until i snapped back into reality. "miss?" a voice said. i slolwy tilted my head up until i could see a man standing infront of me. he wore a denim jacket, black skinny jeans and a Queen shirt with black Vans. he looked like he could be in his early 20ies. he had dark brown hair with hazel eyes and pale skin so for looks i would give him about an 8 out of 10. "do you need a ride somewhre or need to get out of the rain?" he asked me.
"no, i'm cool staying here and freezing to death." i replied. i was serious. might as well just freeze to death out here, i mean it was starting to get really fucking cold.
"come on. i'm not going to let you freeze." he told me reaching out a hand. i mean thins guy has i got out of his car, (i assumed since there was a runnunng car behind him with no one in it) and drenched to help a total stranger. might as well except his offer.
"fine then." i replied and took his hand. it really cold, his hand. i grabbed my bag and followed him to his car where his car was parked. he opened the door for me and i stepped into the first warmth i'd felt in a week and damn did it feel good.
"i don't believe i got your name." he said sitting in the drivers seat.
"Rose" i simply said.
"Gerard" he replied. at first i thought that it was kind of a geeky name but it kind if sutied him. "so is there anywhere you need to be?" he asked.
"dead" i responded.
"i don't think anyone needs to be dead."
"well, i do. i have no friends and my family hates me. no home and am running low on money. i have no reason to live and no one to live for so what's the reason to live at all?" i said quietly.
"i could give you a home." he told me.
"and why would i say yes to that? you could be rapist for all i know. i met you 5 minutes ago."
"at least stay with me for a night, i swear i am not a rapist or want to harm you in anyway." for some reason that sounded hard to believe.
"one night." i made clear to him. about 10 minutes later we arrived at an old beat up apartment bulding on kind of what i would at least say a bad side of town. it didn't look like many people lived here. i stepped out of the car into a puddle getting water all over my damp pant leg. he took me inside and this place looked freaking abandoned. "uh, nevermind. i can freeze in the rain." i spoke nervosly.
"why are you afraid of me?" he asked stepping closer to me. "just come inside." his tone became dark.
"no, i can find somewhere else to stay." i took a few steps back and thought, yep, he's going to murder or rape me or possinly both. at least my life would end.
"no, your coming inside." he claimed firmly then reached for my arm holding it tightly. i tried to yank it free, yelling to let go. "you said you wanted to die? i'm going to make your dreams come true"
so. i was in his livingroom. tied to a chair. fuck my life. he approached me with a knife. i really big one. smirking. " so, hun. got any last words?"
"well, my life was shit and i hate everyone that's everlived. i regret none of my choices but sadly im going to die un loved by anyone and never boung able to feel love from another human being."
"oh that's wonderful."
"well let's get this over with. just do it. i'm ready to die." i told him lifting up my head so he had a good view of my neck.
"you really want to die don't you?"
''uh, what part of the whole, i don't want to live anymore speech didn't you get?"
"because if you wanted to, i could make you an offer. but sadly it involves living but hey, maybe you might find a purpose to live."
"an offer? what do i have to be your fuck buddy and help you with murders and shit?" i said jokingly. he didn't respond, just looked at me smiling lightly. "oh fuck."

***present***

"hun i'm home!" Gerard yelled from the livingroom. a different livingroom from the one where i was almost murdered. actually since i had my little deal with him , we had been all over the country. and are wanted in almost everyone we'd been to. all for something different then the last. we were currently in Seattle in a shitty hotel.
"what happened today?" i asked him from the bedroom., slipping on some black lingerie.
"payed a guy to drug a guys drink and while he was out, caught him in an alleyway." i stepped into the livingroom and approached him slowly. ''you're looking nice tonight."
"it's a new one, just for you." i placed my hands on his chest and placed my lips on his. i guess you could say that i've gotten kind of slutty over the past few years. i guess just this life with him, fucking and killing eople had really changed the way i dee the world.
his hands traveled to my hips as he started to kiss back." i missed you so much today." he whspered against my lips.
"you wanna show me?" i asked him, starting to unbutton his shirt. he started to kiss me fiercly and picked me up carrying me to the bed where he placed me down and straddeled at my waist. within minutes, our clothes were thrown somewhere to the floor. he was sucking on a patch of skin on my neck when i reached over to the night stand and grabbed a condom. as you can see, we did this a lot.
but you know how this goes, condom goes on, we fuck, blah.
so yeah this is my life now. i guess i could say i'm a lot happier that i was 3 years ago but i definently am 1000 times more mess up in the head than i was then.

Notes

NEW FUCKING STORY. sorry about my old one. i just was brain dead and didn't know where i was going with it so i started this one which i actually had a dream about. sorry about lack of smut. i will try ina chapter or two i'm just really tired. so i hope you like. rate commentand hopfully subscribe k luv yalls bai.