Just Sleep

Sleep. Sleep is the only place I can truly find happiness, that or my guitar. I haven't been able to dig deep enough to find anything else that makes me happy. Just stay on the surface, and everything will be fine. Dig too deep and you'll either find what you wanted, or live your whole life, digging at something that wasn't even there. Sleeping helps me dig, without really, digging. It's ignoring all the shit that goes on within life that I miss because I'm sleeping. It's kind of like a drug or a depressant. It's good when you feel it, but it doesn't erase all the problems.

"Frankie, hun. It's time for school." My mother's soothing touch of my cheek, made me feel safe and warm. My mom. She make me happy too. Most of the time.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm..... I don't want to..." I wined back with sleepy, slurred words.
She chuckled softly, "You have to go. You can't just give up now." She tried to be supportive but wasn't exactly helpful.
"I'm getting up now. Just give me a minuet." I reassured her with a smile. She smiled back at me and kissed my forehead. She stood up and left me in my room, alone.

I got up and got dressed. I threw on an old Iron Maiden tee, black skinny jeans and a pair of worn out converses. I went to the bathroom to comb my longish, chocolate brown hair out of my face. I looked in the mirror. I saw a 4'9, 16 year old boy who hated being around people, especially people I didn't know.

I got picked on a lot at school. Mostly for being bi, but other things like my height, my music, my clothes, all that jazz. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes I let it get the best of me. I then do things that I regret later on, that hurts the person who loves me the most. My mother.

When I eventually got to school, something felt different. It felt like weight was lifted off my shoulders and everyone who picked on me, wasn't focused on me, just for today. I went to to my locker and got my things. I rushed to my first to make sure no one was waiting for me to turn the corner. The bell rang and everyone fled the halls.

I sat in the back of my English class. I was safe back there. I was the first one in there and started writing chords that I would be able to practice later on my guitar. Coming up with new chords, made me feel excited every time it popped into my head.

Everyone crawled in the class. The teacher began, "Students!" I kept my head down, writing lyrics to go with the chords. "We have a new student here today. His name is Gerard. Please make him fell good, coming to a new school and all. Gerard, sit in the back, next to Frank." I shot my head up. His face had angelic way to it. His eyes were a greenish hazel like the way the leaves change in autumn. Not just brown but not just green. His crimson red hair made his skin look pale. The teacher pointed at me and his eyes narrowed.

He sat down next to me and it made me feel uncomfortable at first, but I tensed down when I saw him drawing and not paying attention to anything around him. I found myself staring at his lips. They were tiny and pink.. and cute..
No..
Stop Frank..
I went back to writing and then he snatched my notepad. "What the hell?" I said in an angry whisper.
"Some say now suffer all the children and walk away a savoir," he started quietly. His voice was deep and it covered my back and arms with goosebumps,"Just shut your eyes, kiss me good bye, and sleep. Just sleep." he chuckled and passed it back to me. He didn't say anything for the rest of the class. I didn't see him until I noticed he walked home.

When I plunged myself onto my bed, I couldn't help but think about that guy Gerard and how he chuckled at my lyrics. It kept me wondering what he thought of them. It's not like he cared what they meant. He was just another one of those guys that would eventually pick on me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, forgetting all everything I was thinking. Sleep.

Notes

Hey hey hey.
So..
My First Frerard Story.
I actually had to explain what smut was to my mom...
Awkward..
But yeah..
Do whatcha want or need or desire..
Just Do It.
Thanks,
Stay Ugly(: