Boy Division

I didn't know why but I woke up feeling tired as ever. I felt my eyes open,trying to stay, but relapsed when my body said sleep. I almost like I was high, my body, sinking into the bed, gravity force pushing down and feeling heavy. I didn't want to go to school, but I knew my mother would be disappointed if I was there when she came home on her break from work. "Mona, why didn't you go to school today?" Her words played in my head as I sat up to wake my body.

My mother was already gone when I got up. Have a good day Mona! I Love you. See you tonight? We can go get pizza? Love you, Mom. Her note was written in cursive. I put the note back on the counter in the kitchen.

I got dressed and headed for school. I felt like shit today so I didn't have as much make up as usual. I don't know why, but today in particular, I felt down. Like I didn't really care about anything. I just wish I knew why I was feeling this way.

When I finally got to the school, and walked to my locker, Mikey was there, waiting.
"Hey Mona!" He said loudly and happily. He looked like he was going to ask me something
"Hi Mikey." I said trying to put a smile on my face.
"Hey, are you okay today?" He asked kindly. Everything about him was kind.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm just not feeling it today." I said and felt my heart sink a little. Why was I feeling this way? I just didn't make sense.
"Oh, I'm sorry Mona. Do you need anything?" He asked softly. He gave off an awkward smile.
"No, no. It's okay. Don't worry." I said giving him that kind of smile that says I'm not okay, but you don't have to worry about it.
"Oh, okay. Well, I'm here if you need me." He smiled and hugged me.
"Thanks Mikey." I smiled and hugged him back. Looks like that something would have to wait until lunch.

I walked into my first period, alone. I was the only one in there, so far. I plugged in my music, hoping it would make me feel better.. As the music set it, I pulled my drawing pad out and sketched an unknown face. Her face was carved like an angel and her hair was long. Her eyes were big and beautiful. Almost like....

The next thing I knew, being drawn away from my thoughts, I felt a shiver go down my spine. The hand seemed familiar but I couldn't guess who I was. The hand rubbed my shoulder and the rest of the body sat down next to me. I don't know why but it felt comforting, almost too comforting. I felt my eyes burn and fill with tears. Why was this happening? What was wrong with me? I looked down at the bodies shoes, Worn out, black converses. It was Gerard. I felt his hand tighten as he stopped rubbing. Why was he rubbing? Why did he stop?

I looked over at his gorgeous face, and his happy-looking eyes. His red, brilliant, hair was rugged and messy, in the hot kind of way. It covered most of his face. His lips were pinker and the corners of it went up a little. When I turned, face was red, and a single tear fell from my face. His eyes went from happy to curious, the moment I turned. He wiped the tear from my face. My body covered in goosebumps.

I excused myself and ran. I felt my face and ears, burn bright red. What the hell is wrong with me? What made me feel this way? Then it slowly, strongly, hit me. It hit me like sticking a knife, slowly into my heart. It was my brother's birthday and the day he died.

He was the light of my life. When I was depressed, he was always there for me. Even though he was younger than me, he understood my pain. I never asked how he knew, it was better off that way. He always tried to make me smile, even when I didn't want to. I loved him dearly and when he died a year ago, I didn't know what to do. Let's just say I did some things I wasn't proud of. It all led to a depression and that's why, after I finished sophomore year, we moved.

I gathered myself together, trying to pick up the pieces up again, and walked back to class. When I sat in my seat, Gerard said something, but I had to ignore him. I didn't want to talk. The bell rang. I felt him trying to grab my wrist like he did yesterday, but instead he let me go and his hand brushed against the scars on my arms. I felt him stare as I walked away.

At lunch I was hoping the guys wouldn't sit next to me, but they did. I tried to give off the vibe that I wanted to be alone. They just ignored it. I felt someone watching me. I had a feeling it was him.

"Hey," he said gently, "walk with me." Gerard stood up. I hesitated and then followed his actions as we walked away from the group.

"Okay," he whispered,"fess up." He looked straight into my eyes.
I sniffled and tried to pretend like he didn't see me crying, like he didn't feel the scars on my arm,"Fess up to what?" I realized we were alone, not a single figure in sight, just us.
"You know what I'm talking about." He sounded a little agitated."What happened earlier?"
I hesitated to tell him, so I lied again, " I-I- I'm fine. Nothing happened," I looked down at the grown, then I said quietly under my breath, "I'm fine." Trying to convince myself, but I failed.
He grabbed me closer to him, pulling on my arm. "No, I know something is wrong. Don't lie t me." He leaned his face in closer, "You can't lie to me." I could feel his hot breath on my face, which gave me goosebumps. The look on his face went from stern to concerned.
"Gerard, I'm fine." I wanted him to think I was mad. I said it as sternly as I could.
He looked at my face, he was thinking, thinking about something. We were moving until I was up against something. He had one hand on it and the other towards his side.

Before I knew it. I was closer to him than before. His body was warm and his free hand was on my neck, holding my jaw. I felt shivers go up and down my spine. His mouth came closer and i could feel his breath again. We where as close as possible and then...
"Gee! Mona! Where are you guys?" Mikey and Ray yelled.
"They're probably making out." We heard Frank say as they became closer. We laughed softly. I felt better and was ready to talk. I eventually told just Gerard. He pulled me close and laid my head on his chest. His heart started beating faster and he caressed my head. I started to cry again but only a few tears fell.

When school got out, I was walking to my car, when I felt my phone vibrate. It was Gerard.

Him: Hey. Do you wanna meet up somewhere?

Notes

Hey guys. I don't know how I feel about the almost kiss part. I just felt like I had to develop their relationship a little more. I'm sorry if this chapter is shitty.
Thank you for reading.
I'm sorry if you don't like it.
Subscribe,Vote Comment and all that jazz.
Thanks again.
Stay Ugly(;