(Van's POV)


Frank stared at me quizzically as he, Mikey, and Grace walked into the library. Panic rushed throughout my entire body and I couldn't feel my hands. I glanced down at my wrist to make sure my scars were covered by my bracelets and that the liquid skin hadn't rubbed off. Good, he hadn't seen. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked back up at him, flipping my hair out of my face and smiling. "...Van?" He furrowed his eyebrows. I nodded and exclaimed, "Hey Frankie!" in a way more excitedly terrified tone than I meant to. He didn't look satisfied enough. "But... where is the short kid with curly blond hair I grew up with called Van?" I laughed and my smile became genuine. "It's still me. Just plus loads of green beans, hair dye, and a flat iron." He hugged me and Mikey sat down awkwardly as Ray hugged Grace and began introducing her to Bob. I patted Frank's back as he buried his head in my shoulder and a couple girls walked in, walking around aimlessly among the shelves. Mikey shoveled his "chili" into his mouth and the others reluctantly followed his example, Frank still clinging to me like a sad puppy.
"U-um... excuse me..." The girl with the short, brownish blonde approached me shyly, her strawberry blonde friend following. She set two books on the counter and I tapped Frank's shoulder. "Hey, Frankie. I gotta be a functional adult now, 'kay?" He nodded and sat next to Grace as I picked up the books. "The Guardians of Zoram... and When Eden Goes to War... I love these!" I exclaimed as I registered them with her ID card. She looked down bashfully and her friend smirked. "Red is a total bookworm. You'll probably see her a lot in here." I laughed and handed her the books. "Then I'd better introduce myself, shouldn't I?" I stuck my hand out, "Technically I'm 'Mr. Turner', but you can call me Van, okay?" She smiled and nodded, taking my hand in hers. "I'm Avery, but Daylyn calls me Red. I guess you can, too. And I-I'm not actually shy, I'm just..." "She just thinks you're awesome. You're wearing a Pierce the Veil tank top, after all." Daylyn cut her off. Red nodded and pointed at her in agreement. I smiled and looked down at myself. I noticed Frank narrow his eyes at me as he chewed on his creepy bean sludge. After a couple more pleasantries, the girls hurried off to some other place and Frank point his spork at me menacingly. "You're gonna be one of those flirty young teachers, aren't you?"
I put my hands in the air like I was surrendering, but quickly put them back down. "Hey, I can't help it!" Grace nodded in agreement, "It's in his nature." Gerard walked over to me flirtatiously and imitated a teenage girl, "Take me, Mr. Turner. Teach me a lesson," he rubbed up against me seductively. "Hey Gerard remember 9 years ago when-" I started and he pulled away from me instantly. "NO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO YOU CAN SHUSH. SHHHHHH." He didn't look so punk rock at the moment. He jammed his finger over my lips, keeping me from saying anything and pulled me into my office. "Don't you dare." He scolded me like an un-house-trained puppy. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said unintelligibly, as his shushy finger was making it hard to respond. Maybe I should explain. When he was 8, Gee came up to me in secret to ask a very important question... for Grace's hand in marriage. I've teased him about it ruthlessly ever since. "Yes, you do. Don't do it, butthole." He said, releasing his finger from my mouth as I shrugged. "Okay, mum." He looked pleased with himself and turned to leave before I stopped him. "But..." He turned back around to face me, "But what?" He asked, anxiety and curiosity flirting in his hazel eyes. I tackled him and screamed, "WHO YA CALLIN BUTTHOLE, YOU PUNK?!" He yelped and I heard Grace clear her throat. "You guys are BOTH buttholes." Gerard and I looked back and forth between each other and Grace and I saw her start to get uneasy. She gulped, "Whatchu guys up to?" We both looked at her and yelled "WHO YOU CALLIN BUTTHOLE?!" in unison as we pushed ourselves off the floor, running after her. She squealed and pivoted between bookshelves, the boys cackling jubilantly at our antics. We chased after her, yelling and making s huge scene as she dodged and dived and hid. Finally, the bell rang and she bolted for the door. "HEY, GET BACK HERE GIRLISH." I yelled after her. She gave me the finger and disappeared into the hall. She shall face the full wrath of the prank king when she gets home.

---

I unlocked the apartment and walked straight in as Grace sat on the couch. Oh, I had many plans for her. But not tonight. I feel too gross. High schoolers, man. "I'm gonna shower," I announced, marching into the bathroom. She grunted in response and continued watching Communities. I turned on the shower and sat on the tile as it warmed up, scrolling through my iPod. I think I'm in the mood for The White Stripes. I turned on Fell in Love With a Girl and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pour over me. I just stood there and listened to the music before I heard the doorbell ring. Eh, Grace'll get it, I thought. After a second, she started yelling my name. "VAN GET OUT HERE. YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN." I kicked the shower knob, turning it off and wrapped a towel around my waist. I ran out, not bothering to cover my wrists. "WHAT IS IT WOMAN?!" I yelled. She turned aside and I saw why she was freaking out.

---

***Should I stop here? Nah. I'm mean, but I'm not that mean.***

Grace turned and I saw what she was yelling for me about. There it was, a little baby all wrapped up, snoozing away on our doorstep. I walked toward it, pushing Grace out of my way. I bent down and snatched up the note tucked into the baby's blanket.

Dear Vance,

Guess what? You're a daddy! Her name is Scarlett and she was born on August 1st, 2012. Don't worry, she's exactly like you.

Xoxo,
You-Know-Who

Well, fuck me. How am I supposed to take care of a kid when I am one? I picked Scarlett up and looked at Grace, the fear that was overtaking me probably completely evident on my face because she weakly attempted to make me feel better. "I-it's okay, Van. I'll get a job and we can get the boys to babysit whenever, I'm sure. We'll just have to... uh... budget and uh... work together." See? She knows I can't be a good dad. Scarlett started crying and I panicked, bouncing her up and down and shushing. "Hey, shhh Scar. Daddy's here. I'm here. C'mon, stop crying. C'mon. Please." I was on the verge of tears myself. I looked at Grace, begging for help. My eyes must've screamed WHAT DO I DO?! because she carefully took her from me and patted her back, rocking her back and forth and singing softly. Grace put the tip of her thumb in Scarlett's mouth and whispered lullabies to her. Eventually Scar fell asleep and my heart sank. I can't even calm down my own daughter by myself. Grace snapped back into reality and looked at me.
I probably looked like a deer in the headlights. "Do you want to hold her?" Grace mouthed. I nodded absently and accepted her into my arms. I moved the blanket out of her face and looked at her. She really did look just like me. She poked her awkward arms out of the blanket and grabbed two of my fingers in a death grip. Damn, she's strong. Ow. Ow! I had no idea what I was doing but she was hurting me so I kissed her little fingers and she released me. Thank you, dear. She opened her eyes and blinked at me curiously. I held her out in front of me and bounced her up and down while making a stupid face. "Hey, babe. You come here often? A-go-go-go-! A-go-go-go-go-!" I still have no idea what I'm doing, but she's laughing. My baby is laughing! Holy crap. My baby is laughing. And it sounds like a million singing angels. Holy crap. I sat down on the couch and sat her on my lap, her blanket falling off. "Hey! A-hey!" I giggled as I covered and uncovered my eyes. She squeaked happily and tossed her fat little hand over mine when I was covering my eyes. I played with her for a couple more minutes before her stomach growled loudly. She sniffed and clenched her eyes shut, about to cry. "N-n-n-n-o-o-o-ooooo! U-uh! G-grace! H-help, she's h-hungry!" I snatched her up and ran to the kitchen, followed by my little sister. I pulled the carton of milk out of the fridge and looked around helplessly, unsure of what to do next. "She doesn't need that kinda milk, stupid! She needs baby milk!" Grace yelled at me. I picked up Scar and shoved her toward Grace. "THEN MAKE SOME BEFORE MY BABY STARTS FLIPPING OUT." She looked like she wanted to strangle me. "I CAN'T MAKE IT, DUMBASS. WE NEED TO GO OUT AND BUY SOME." I handed Scar to Grace and ran to the bathroom, pulling some pants and a long-sleeved t shirt on. "Let's go, then!" I yelled grabbing my keys and walking outside, hair still soaked.

Notes

so ye apparently Voldemort left a baby on the doorstep of the Turner house. Or... uh... apartment.