The Light Behind Your Eyes

Frank's POV
I could feel my face burning as everyone in the class, including the teacher stared at me after Izzy stormed out. I just wanted the ground to open and swallow me up. After class I hurried to the cafeteria scanning the room for Izzy but I couldn't see her anywhere, I did however see Bob.
"Bob man! I need to talk to you!" I said in between breaths
"Sure man, what's up?" He asked as he followed me out of the busy cafeteria and to the parking lot.
"It's Izzy, I fucked up, where is she?"
"I don't know, haven't seen her since this morning, why? what did you do?"
"I gave her the song man! She played it and no she hates me, she's just after yelling at me in chem and telling me to stay out of her fucking life. I didn't mean for the song to hurt her...I was only trying to help her!"
"I know Frank, look try not to worry about it. She's had a really tough week, it probably just made her miss you, it's hard for her, you know?" Bob said lighting a fag and handing it to me before lighting one for himself.
"Yeah, I hate that i've hurt her so much. I didn't want any of this. Can you do me a favor? Can you just tell her that i'm sorry and that i'll never bother her again...oh and give her back these" I said handing Bob the keys to Cooper.
"Dude, just give her some time to cool down then..."
"Please Bob? Just tell her."
"Okay, I will"

Later on when I was back at home trying to finish my homework.
"So explain to me again how we're carless?"
"Uh...my mom's friend needed that car back, sorry Jess"
"This is so annoying, how are we supposed to have a kid with no car?!"
"We'll get by! And my mom said we can use hers anytime she isn't using it and I nearly have enough to get mine fixed anyway. Don't worry, please calm down the midwife said stress is bad for you and our boy." I said rubbing her bump. She put her hand on top of mine and lowered her face so our eyes met.
"Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"I think this is the longest you've really looked at me in months." She said, what the hell was I supposed to say back to that?! So I just nodded. Then she tried to kiss me but I pulled away much to her dismay.
"I'm sorry Jess...I'm just not-"
"Not ready? Yeah I know, you're never gonna be ready Frank! Why are you with me if you can't actually be WITH me?"
"I'm trying."
"No, you're not! You say you are but you're not. You're not trying to get over Izzy, you love dwelling over her! Just go and be with her because I can't keep living like this! I can't spend every day hoping that you'll look at me and really see me, or notice when I put extra make-up on or do my hair real nice for you! It's been over 2 months! When will you start to like me again?! You can't punish me forever!" She said frantically while tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"Jess I..."
"Don't fucking bother!" She said while leaving the room. I felt really bad now, I keep forgetting how hard this must be on her. I thought I was doing a good job of pretending to like her but clearly I haven't. To be honest Jess is right, I haven't really been trying to get over Izzy and I definitely haven't been trying to like Jess. I guess i'm gonna try harder but I just don't know how. You can't force yourself to like someone who has ruined your life. I went upstairs to Jess' room and heard her crying from the other side of the door, so I knocked gently and let myself in.
"Jess?"
"What?" She asked while wiping her face
"Look, I really am sorry okay? I've just been so stressed with school and work and the baby, but I need you to see that i'm doing this all for you and our son. I want you and him to be happy. Please forgive me? I promise that i'm gonna try harder." I said now sitting on the bed beside her rubbing her back.
"Kiss me then"
"What?"
"I said kiss me, prove to me that you want to be with me by kissing me." I just stared at her blankly, I really didn't wanna kiss her, I still slightly resented her. But I had to just suck it up and do it, just to shut her up and keep her sweet. So I leaned in
"With tongue." She added, Oh for fuck sake. So I kissed her...with tongue. It was pretty horrible, I couldn't even pretend it was Izzy because that would just be insulting to her.
"I gotta get ready for work" I said then eagerly rushed out of the room so she wouldn't ask for seconds.

Izzy's POV
A few days have passed since I snapped at Frank, I haven't seen him since, mainly because i've been avoiding him by skipping chemistry class. I know it's childish and pathetic but i'm just so embarrassed after how I acted. I've even been avoiding my friends at lunch time. Instead I go to Mr McKay's office to collect any chemistry notes that i've missed. He's actually a pretty cool teacher, he was understanding and gave me a pep talk on how I shouldn't let a stupid guy come in the way of my education. But I didn't have chem today so I was forced to have lunch in the cafeteria, it was okay everyone acted pretty normal, no one even asked why I was avoiding them which means Frank must have told Bob about my blow up and Bob has obviously blabbed to everyone else. I tried to not let it get to me and just act normal.
"Wanna go for a cig Iz?" Bob asked.
"I'd love one!" Bob and I made our way out to our usual spot by my Rover and sparked up our cigarettes.
"So I didn't want to do this in front of everyone else" Bob began while pulling out the keys to Cooper from his pocket and handing them to me.
"Frank asked me to give these back to you and to tell you that he's really sorry" I felt really bad now, as angry and frustrated as I was with Frank , I didn't want to take the car from him, it honestly didn't even cross my mind.
"No, I don't want them, seriously give them back to him"
"Please don't put me in this position Iz, give them to him yourself"
"But I-"
"No buts!"
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, and look I know you're still hurting but think about how hard this whole thing is on him! He never wanted to let you go Izzy, he loves you so much that he had to let you go because he didn't want to drag you down with him."
"I know I overreacted...and now I feel like a fucking idiot"
"It's okay" Bob said wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close.
"What the hell am I gonna say to him?" I asked
"Just speak from the heart"
"What are you now, my therapist?"
"Yeah I should start charging you $100 an hour!"

Later on I went to visit Gee, I felt bad I haven't seen him since Monday when I was angry with Frank and went to Gerard's just for sex.
"Geeeeeeeeeeee?" I called as I entered his room
"Hey!" He said walking towards me while taking off his shirt.
"Gerard Arthur Way! This is not one of those visits!" I said jokingly covering my eyes
"Oh!" He said, as his cheeks began burning bright red. It was cute.
"I feel like we don't just hang anymore, you know without the sex."
"Sorry..."
"Don't apologise" I said almost laughing. Even though he was an absolute animal in the sack, he was so sweet and such a gentleman.
"So what do you wanna do?" He asked awkwardly
"It's a really nice day, wanna go a walk?"
"Sure"
Gee and I walked a few blocks just talking about random shit, this felt right, this felt like we were back to normal, I was starting to worry that I was taking advantage of him because the majority of the times I've seen him recently resulted in us having sex and one of our rules is that we should only have sex once or twice a week or when one of us is feeling really shit otherwise the lines would get blurred. Technically I wasn't breaking the rule because I was feeling extra shit recently. I knew I was starting to over analyse the situation though because I couldn't help but think that it was always me instigating the sex, clearly I needed it more than he did, which is exactly why I wanted him and I to hang out in public, just in case I found myself feeling down and needing another pick me up.
"So your birthday is coming up soon, the big 20! Are you excited?"
"Fuck no! It's basically the death of my teens, I'm gonna have to be responsible then"
"Oh come one, it's not that bad!"
"Uh yes it is! I'll be 20, living in my mom's basement studying a stupid degree that's gonna get me absolutely no where!"
"But are you happy?"
"Yeah,"
"Then stop your complaining! Plus Art is not a stupid degree, you're amazing at it Gee, you're gonna go really far with it, I just know it"
"I still really wanna move it though"
"You can't you promised Mikey that you'd wait till he finishes school so you guys can get a place together in the city!"
"Yeah, I wont be able to afford one on my own"
"I can't wait to be independent!" I said
"Why don't you get a place with Mikes and me?"
"Me and the Way brothers eh? Sounds like a pretty sweet set up!"

Gee and I ended up back at his place playing mario kart and planning our move to the city when I noticed the time, it was just after 2 in the morning.
"Shit Gee is that the time? I need to go!" I said getting my stuff together. I gave Gerard a quick hug goodbye and made my way back home. As I pulled up the drive I saw Cooper sitting there, I had texted Joan to pick it up from school for me but as I saw it sitting there it made me think of Frank. I quickly rushed into the house and grabbed the keys to Cooper and drove him to the Living room that Jazz bar Frank and I shared our first date in. Bob told me Frank works there almost every night, and considering a Thursday is one of their most popular nights, he was pretty much guaranteed to be working tonight. I parked opposite the bar and leaned against my car having a cig to calm my nerves, hoping that Frank would come out soon. After all this time how could he still have this effect on me? How could he still give me butterflies and the sheer thought of talking to him. Eventually as the drunken crowd left the bar I noticed Frank leaving.
"Frank!" I called out, he stopped dead in his tracks, confusion plastering his face
"Izzy? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" He asked
"Yeah...can we talk?" I asked nervously
"Sure" He said lighting a fag and approaching me.
"Look, i'm really sorry about snapping at you the other day"
"You don't have to apologise"
"Yes I do. It was totally out of order, I was just really hypersensitive that week and I overreacted. Your song is amazing and I genuinely love it."
"Thanks"
"Anyway, I just wanted to clear the air...so are we good?"
"I never had a problem with you Iz, i'm sorry if that song upset you, that was actually the opposite of my intention."
"I know, Can I give a lift home?" I asked
"Yeah" Frank said taking one final drag of his cigarette and getting into the car.
We made awkward small talk until I pulled up to my house.
"Um Izzy? This is your house" Frank stated
"Yeah I know." I said getting out of the car but leaving the keys in the ignition. Frank followed me out of the car
"I thought you were gonna drop me home..."
"I think you can drive yourself home from here" Frank cocked his head to the side
"I don't get it" He said
"Take Cooper back"
"No Izzy I don't want it"
"But you need it and I don't, please Frank, it's the least I can do after the way I acted"
"Well my cars gonna be fixed in a few weeks"
"Great just give Cooper back then, Goodnight Frank" I said while walking to my porch, as I opened my front door I turned around once more to find Frank still in the same spot staring at me so I gave him a small wave and shut the door behind me.

Notes

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I'm not in a very good place right now, but i'm trying to get out of it. I really wanted to get a chapter up tonight and i'm so sorry it's a pretty shit one but i'm just so busy and stressed at the minute! Better than nothing I suppose!
Thanks so so SO much for reading! PLEASE rate/subscribe/COMMENT!
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xxx