The Light Behind Your Eyes

I was so unbelievably grateful to Izzy for lending me her beloved cooper, before I knew what I was doing I had my harms wrapped around her shoulders, as I inhaled her sweet scent my arms naturally drifted down her back and she wrapped her arms around me. It felt right. For a split second I forgot that we were no longer a couple, I forgot I was having a kid with Jess and I forgot that we didn't get to embrace everyday. It felt like time was standing still. I desperately wanted to kiss her...but I couldn't. It was Izzy that broke the hug, I guess I was holding on for too long.

When I got into the antenatal clinic I was told that Jess was already in with the midwife. Shit. I burst through the door to find Jess in a gown with her legs spread, her cervix was just after being examined and the midwife was applying the jelly to her baby for the ultrasound.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
"I'm so so sorry Jess! The car it's fucked."
"No.Stop. I don't even want to hear it!" She said crossing her arms and looking away here now, it's not like I didn't try my best!"
"And there's your baby!" The midwife said. Jess and I both looked at the screen. I got closer to Jess and somehow ended up holding her hand.
"That's my..." I trailed off
"Your son, and look here's his-"
"OhmyGod! We didn't want to know!" Jess stated rudely
"Oh i'm so sorry-"
"No don't be, I'm glad we know!" I butted in
"We AGREED it was gonna be a surprise!"
"Well it was gonna be one or the other!"
"That's not the point!"
"No the point is we know now, who cares at least we can be more prepared now for our son! Please continue!" I said gesturing to the midwife while Jess sulked.
"I uh...there's his head and if we zoom in we can see his face...here's an arm and this here is his leg" she explained.
"So tell us, is everything okay?" I asked
"Well, yes everything looks fine, the baby is just a little underweight but that's okay we'll just keep monitoring mother and baby. So do you want to talk about you due date at the end of-"
"Frank get out now please I want to get dressed and talk to the midwife about my stretchmarks and heartburn!"
"But I wanna talk about the due date."
"I'll call you back in then!"
"Fine" I said before grabbing my jacket and leaving the room. Jess is such a bitch. I get it she's hormonal but surely she should be thankful that I care about this baby and that I actually want to be involved in his birth! As I sat in the waiting room I stared at the sonogram of my son. This was the turning point for me. This was the moment that I felt a glimmer of hope, I no longer resented the ball of cells growing in Jess's stomach, I could see that he was an innocent little human. I'm going to be the best father I could possibly be. I love this child. Jess exited the room and I stood up to follow her back in.
"No we're finished."
"What? but what about the due-"
"I said we're done! I told you the baby is due at the end of May/start of June, everything's fine"
"But I want to be more involved."
"I get that but it's me who has to push it out so just leave it to me. C'mon lets go!" She said now grabbing my arm and pulling me outside. I decided to let it go, she's just being a hormonal little bitch so I have to let her be.
"Where's the car Frank?"
"I told you it broke down so we're driving this now for a while?" I said leading her to Izzy's cooper
"Where did you get this from?"
"Uh...it's my mom's friend's car, she said we can use it till we get mine fixed." Jess didn't even question my story. We drove home and as Jess went for a nap I got a call from Bob. He's the only one who still makes an effort with me. I don't get to see him often but he always calls or texts to check in and ask about the baby. I decided to go visit him. When I got to Bob's I showed him the sonogram.
"That's my son" I said smiling proudly
"Frank, that's amazing congratulations man!"
"I know, it's all so real now. I'm still fucking terrified but look at him, he's so small, so...vulnerable. He needs me and I need him, he's my only reason for living now."
Bob and I hung out for about 2 hours, I told him about Izzy picking me up and Jess's hormonal mood swings while he told me about how his relationship with Ava was still going strong, I was happy for him but so incredibly jealous.

Izzy's POV
Gerard picked me up and I explained to him what I did for Frank. He didn't really understand but once I asked him to drop it he did.
"So are we still coming to yours tonight?" He asked as he pulled up my drive
"Yeah, my dad's in Washington and Joan's away visiting an old friend so my house is totally free. Can you get the booze?"
"Yeah, vodka as usual?"
"Yes please, so just come around to mine whenever you guys want. See ya Gee" I said before leaving his car. Basically I was just having him, Lana, Mikey, Bob, Ava, Ray, Aaron and Ellie around and we were gonna get pissed as usual.

Later on when the guys came around we played some music, played drinking games and danced. When we were officially smashed we decided to play dares. They consisted of Ellie having to take a shot off my bare stomach, Aaron giving us a strip tease, Ray having to do an impression of each of us and then I had to dive into my pool naked. It didn't bother me because we dimmed the lights.
"Skinny dipping isn't fun alone you know! Get in here losers!" I called from the pool.
Ellie and ray felt too insecure so it ended up being the couples, me, Aaron and Gee. after a while the couples started to get intimate and left. Aaron decided it would be funnier to get out and run around the house naked leaving just me and Gee in the pool, drunk and naked. We were joking around with each other swimming away from each other when I was in the center of the pool.
"Gerard?" I called out but I couldn't see him. That's when I felt his hand around my ankle and he pulled me to the bottom of the pool. When we both went up for air we were treading a bit too close to each other.
"Don't do that!" I teased while splashing him. We were breathing heavily, staring deep into each other's eyes. Again I don't know who instigated it but next thing I know, my arms are around his neck while his are around my back and we're kissing passionately. I could feel that his dick was hard so I straddled him. That's when Gee pulled away from the kiss but didn't let go of my body.
"We shouldn't..."
"We already have..."I said biting my lip. God I wanted this. We slowly made our way to the shallow side of the pool and began fondling each other.
"What if someone catches us?" He whispered into my ear as I played with him
"Maybe we should take this upstairs then..." I replied. He kissed me once more before we exited the pool and put our clothes back on. We looked around the house but could see that everyone had either already gone to bed or passed out. I can admit that I was sobering up but I still wanted this badly. I led Gerard up to my room where we picked up right where we left off.

It was just like the first time the night before. The sex was amazing and it wasn't particularly awkward afterward.
"I thought this was just gonna be a one time thing" He mocked as he held my naked body.
"Well I had an itch that needed scratched and...well lets just say you scratched it..." I joked
"I think you're the one that did that scratching, have you seen my back?" He replied, I was enjoying this flirtatious sexual banter.
"Oops, sorry" I said innocently as he sat up and faced me. I could tell we were both pretty much sober now.
"Seriously Izzy though, what's happening here?"
"I don't know. I think we're both just so...lonely...and we've gotten so close recently. We both have needs...it was bound to happen."
"So what happens now?"
"Well our friendship seems perfectly fine...it's not like the sex ruined that, if anything it's just making our friendship better because it's like you're comforting me in a way you couldn't before"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh don't make me say it." I said starting to get embarrassed
"Say what?" He asked sensually stroking my back
"The sex is great, it's like a release for me, we're both having a shit time right now and it 's like a way to release the frustration, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I totally agree...do you wanna keep doing it?" He asked cautiously
"Like friends with benefits?"
"...yeah"
"mmm, if we set some rules. The whole friends with benefits thing is usually always a disaster but that's because they're not us. We already know each other inside out. There's nothing I can't tell you Gee so rule 1. Keep the sex separate from our friendship, so we can't cuddle naked, but we can cuddle like we used to with clothes on. 2. Only have sex a certain number of times a week like once or twice and on specific occasions like when we're feeling like shit, otherwise we'll just end up having sex every time we see each other and then the lines will get blurred. and 3. If by any chance either of us starts to develop romantic feelings for the other, just be open and honest so we can stop. Deal?"
"Deal!" he said while shaking my hand.
"Oh and another thing...this should stay strictly between us two, the others wont understand. The fourth rule of sex club is don't talk about sex club!" I joked

Gerard's POV
I couldn't believe what Izzy was saying. This didn't seem like her, she's usually so sweet and innocent and now i'm seeing this other side of her, she's like a sex animal, but i'm liking it. Are we really doing this? When she told me rule number 3 I tensed up, I should really tell her that I have those 'romantic feelings' for her now but then she's definitely never sleep with me again and maybe if we have sex enough she'll start to have feelings for me and when she tells me then I can tell her I feel the same and the rest will be history, we'll have our happily ever after. When we woke up the next morning I felt jittery like a school girl. I rolled over to find Izzy on her floor brushing her hair.
"Morning" I said while rubbing my eyes, Fuck she looked sexy in her pajama shorts and vest top.
"Oh my God! it's 11:56, you actually are awake in the morning!" She joked.
"Come here" I said while patting the bed next to me, she climbed on the bed and faced me
"...so about last night.." I began
"What, sex club?" she asked smiling
"Yeah...are we really doing it?"
"We don't have to if you don't want to Gee"
"No I want to!" I said a little too eagerly, shit I've probably fucked it up. "I was just thinking, we've only ever done it drunk...maybe to test it out and really make sure it wont affect our friendship we should do it sober?" I asked next think I know she's on top of me kissing me. Fuck she's so sexy. When we finished she got dressed immediately,
"Well?" She asked
"Yeah I think our friendship's fine."
It's unreal the sex with her is amazing, it's unlike any sex i've ever had before. She's wild. But in the back of my mind I can't help but acknowledge the fact that it was probably Frank that taught her everything in bed. I tried not to think about it cause it just made me angry. Was she thinking of him when she was sleeping with me?

Notes

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