I wanna know the taste of your lips by heart

Chapter 8
Gerard’s POV
A couple of hours have passed by and that was enough sleep for me to feel refreshed. It was around six when I had a shower, listened to some music, read some old comics, just to pass the time. I had completely forgotten about Mikey and what had happened earlier but I felt I needed to do something but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Later, at about 7.30, I went downstairs to drink some water when I met Mikey and I suddenly remembered how I treated him earlier.

“Oh, Mikes, Mikey, about today- I was just so tired I could’ve been literally screaming at a glass of water and-“

“Yes, right. It’s good to know your brother compares you to a glass of water”, Mikey answered in a quiet voice, full of sarcasm. Oh great, he’s really angry with me. Stupid Gerard.

“I didn’t mean it like that-“

“Save it to yourself. I need to go now”

“Yes, to the party I’m by the way going to with Kyle and some other friends- why don’t you come with us?”

“No, thanks. I have my friends and you have yours. I’m going with Frank, I-I can’t be around you right now”, he said coldly.

“Then what about us?”

“I…don’t know anymore”, Mikey whispered, looking straight into my eyes and scaring me with his words, I didn’t know if he meant them or not. He then went out of the house.

Shit.

After half an hour Kyle was in front of my house with his car, a bunch of girls and boys I knew in the backseat. I sat in the passenger seat next to him after greeting.

“Gerard, mate”, we half-hugged, half-patted backs, manly.

“Guys, put on your seatbelts. We’re going to the party of the year!”, Kyle screamed and they all cheered loudly. I just looked out of the window, thinking about Mikey.
~

The huge house was packed with people. And I mean, people everywhere, not for claustrophobics. People by the pool, people in the pool, people in front of the garden and in the garden, people in the backyard and people in the house, people on the terraces, people in the bedrooms and even people in the basement. Literally, people every-fuhking-where. With the addition of really, really loud music, you could say it was nearly impossible to find Mikey and talk to him.

“Who are you searching for?”, Kyle screamed next to my ear over the loud music.

“Mikey, I- he’s somewhere here, I must find him”, I screamed back at him. My eyes were starting to sting either from the smoke that was filling the whole house by the many people smoking cigarettes and weed or maybe from the hopelessness of the situation and the fact that I couldn’t find Mikey and apologize.

Kyle looked at me and his brow furrowed “C’mon, let’s check upstairs”, he screamed and started making his way to the stairs, me following him closely. We checked all bedrooms, bathrooms and stuff, finding at least five couples having sex and walking out awkwardly, but still, there was no Mikey.

We checked literally everywhere downstairs and we could find neither Mikey, nor even Frank. Where the hell had they gone? Kyle suddenly grabbed my hand and led us to an empty bedroom, then closed the door to block the noise and turned to me.

“Okay, first, tell me what happened”, he squeezed my shoulder comfortingly “It can’t be that bad”

“Well I-I was tired and angry and acted like a fool and- stuff- and he, like, he’s mad at me and-“, I choked on my own words and I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, all the exhaustion, sadness and anger- this time towards myself, overwhelmed and the tears started falling freely down my face like the complete whining baby I am. “I’m a complete failure”

Kyle, however, gave me a shoulder to cry on without complaining. He kissed my forehead and wrapped his long arms around me, whispering reassuring nothings in my ear. I really felt like a failure. I cried in his hair silently for what felt like forever, at least until I had no tears left.

“I ruined your party, didn’t I?”, I sniffed, pulling away, trying to be stronger.

“Not a big deal, that’s what friends are for”, he smiled at me, the concern in his transparent blue eyes still evident.

“No, no, you should go, you should have fun”, I untangled from him and smiled a little “I’ll be fine”

“You sure? Because I can stay”, he looked at me hesitantly.

“No, don’t trouble yourself with me more than you already did, please”, I hugged him one more time.

“You’ll talk to Mikey tomorrow and you’ll see he’s not mad anymore, I’m sure”, he smiled his great smile that could make you feel better even if you are, well, me. I nodded.

He opened the door “Oh, and Kyle-“, he turned to me, raising his eyebrows “thank you. For everything”, he only smiled and walked out.
~

Mikey’s POV

I couldn’t believe it! I just couldn’t believe it! How could he do that to me? I believed in what we were, in what we had and he-he- I was so angry!

*what actually happened*
I and Frank had been on the rooftop because I really couldn’t stand the loud music when I was so confused and hurt. Frank’s other friends were already either too drunk to stand on their feet or getting laid so he got a beer for himself and one for me and we climbed from the attic’s window to the rooftop. It wasn’t steep so we could stand there without fearing we could fall.

Frank had seen how bothered I was the whole night so he asked me again and again what had happened but I only told him I’ve fought with my brother so he wouldn’t be suspicious. He told me many things after that, such as “I’d do anything to have a brother I have such strong relationship with” and “Go find him” after I told him he was somewhere downstairs.

At first I wasn’t really going to search him but then I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to see him and know that we were fine, that it would be all fine. I needed reassurance he still wanted me as much as I did, despite what I said to him earlier. I was ready to forgive.

I left Frank on the rooftop and went downstairs to look for Gerard. There were even more people in the house- smoking weed, making out everywhere, playing games with much drinking, skinny dipping in the pool, throwing from the terraces in the pool, having sex in the backyard, girls dancing in boys’ lap etc. It was crazy. But what I searched for, I couldn’t find. Where could he possibly be?

I went to the bedrooms. He couldn’t be there because all I saw were couples having sex and it wasn’t pleasant to interrupt, I’m sure about that. But really, I needed to find him. After many awkward encounters with couples, I neared the end of the corridor and opened the door to the room. Oh.

There they stood, Gerard in Kyle’s arms and Kyle caressing his hair and whispering in his ear. What the fuck!? I nearly exploded from anger and I couldn’t think straight. ‘They’re together again’, is what I thought, silently exiting the room, silently raging on the inside.

*And this is what happened*

Oh fuck, fuck, fucking shit! I was so angry at first that I wanted to break something, I wanted to make disaster in order to reflect what I felt like on the inside. It was my fault for letting him go without me and it was his fault for being mean and then forgetting about me, going with his ex-boyfriend and doing-stuff-whatever they were doing. How could he hurt me like that? I couldn’t take it. Hell, I couldn’t even think right now. What I wanted was to make him regret it and I wanted him to hurt. I also wanted to hurt myself by letting him go. Being somewhere else with somebody else.

That’s when I quickly made my way to the attic and called Frank to come inside.

“What happened?”, Frank had asked, but I didn’t want to talk.

I couldn’t even quite make out his face with my tear-filled eyes. My lips crashed against his blindly.

He responded after a second.

I grabbed his hips, pulling him close.

His body against mine. My body falling apart against his.

My heart shattering on the dusty wooden floor. Our lips soaking from my tears and our tongues.

Me sitting on top of him on the bed and his hands tangling in my hair. His tongue tangling around mine.

Gerard- Gerard in my mind and Gerard on the doorway.

Oh, god.

But I wanted this, right? I desperately wanted him to see me like that- see me being somebody else’s. Didn’t I?
~
Gerard’s POV
I decided to at least wander around if I couldn’t find Mikey and maybe find a quiet place or something. I went to the end of the corridor when I saw a flight of stairs leading to an opening in the ceiling, probably leading to some kind of an attic room. I climbed the stairs. I never could’ve been prepared enough for what I saw.

It was Mikey. My Mikey on top of Frank.

What.the.fuck.

The wooden floor beneath me creaked and Mikey broke the kiss, looked at me and jumped from Frank which allowed me to see the boner Frank was sporting. Caused by my Mikey. My mind couldn’t even fully comprehend what had I just witnessed. I watched at Frank with such venom that I’m sure he was getting the message ‘Get out while you can’.

“I better go, uhm, downstairs”, Frank muttered before looking at Mikey and climbing down the stairs.

Mikey stood. He was crying, that much I could see under the faint light. Always-in-control-of-his-feelings Mikey (at least out of our home) was crying. He was mine, he was mine, that’s what my mind didn’t forget to tell me every second while I was looking at him. He was mine and he couldn’t be anybody else’s. No.

I lunged forwards and pinned him to the wall, not bothering to hide my tears of weakness, jealousy and broken heart.

“Why?”, I screamed at him, grasping his forearms with all my strength.

“Ow, you’re hurting me”, he twisted in my arms, sobbing.

“Tell me why!’, I continued screaming in his face.

“Wasn’t that what you fucking wanted me to do?”, he screamed back, looking at me bitterly and choking on his tears, his voice breaking in the middle.

“To be kissing somebody else, are you insane?”, I cried.

“You could’ve just fucking told me, Gerard, why didn’t you- why”, his smaller body finally stopped twisting in my hands as he shook.

“Told you what, what Mikey?”, I cried my helpless tears.

“You and Kyle, Gerard. Do you think I’m fucking dumb? I would’ve eventually found out anyway”, he suddenly broke eye contact and looked at his shoes.

“What about Kyle, for fuck’s sake Mikey, tell me what I’m missing!”, I screamed again desperately. I had no idea-

“Oh”

“Good, you remember then”, he said sarcastically, the tears still falling from his eyes.

“Mikey, did you walk on us when- oh my god, really? Really? I’ve been searching for you all night long and he’s been fucking helping me, Mikey! He’s a friend, just a friend-why would you think we…”

“Yeah right, am I supposed to believe you?!”, his beautiful face contorted with pain when I grabbed his hands even tighter.

“I’d never, ever do anything like that to hurt you and you should know it, Mikes”

He stayed silent. I think that was the worst part of it- the screaming and the twisting, I’ve seen it coming, but when he was silent, how was I supposed to know if he believed what I said?

“Do you like that boy?”, I asked him, the venom evident once again in my voice. My jealousy was getting the better of me again. And when he didn’t answer and didn’t meet my eyes, I pushed him against the wall again, my eyes were without doubt filling with tears once again.

“Tell me!”, I yelled in his face, my body trembling against his in anger.
“Stop it, it hurts”, he cried but I couldn’t let him go, not yet. Not before I knew.

“I’m letting you go if that’s what you want but I want to know-“

“Of course I don’t, you idiot! I’ve always wanted you! You and you only! I was trying to hurt us both when I went to Frank, you fool!”, he screamed in my arms and then broke down completely, his hazel eyes full of tears that begged to escape, ready to collapse on the floor if my hands didn’t hold his body firmly.

And that was it. He finally fell into my arms just as broken as I was, but we were healing. And we were gonna be alright. My hands went on his waist tenderly, touching him much differently than a minute ago, his forehead pressed to my chest as he shook against me.

“That’s all we need to know”, I whispered in his hair, smelling familiar and oh, so soothing. “I want you and you want me, right?”

“Y-yes”, he wept.

“We-we will be alright”, I said, brushing his tears, then my own, and kissing him gently, making him even smile “I know we will”

We slept on the attic after that, on a makeshift bed. But all we needed was love. I believed we had everything when I fell asleep with Mikey almost on top of me. I had him.

Notes

I can’t even begin to describe how sorry I am for the lack of updates and the reasons are many, the first one in my list being school, of course. I really had no time for anything other than schoolwork. I am Gerard in this chapter, kinda. I act exactly the same way as him when I’m exhausted and I actually make people around me feel bad which is horrible, I know. Also, I wanted to say sorry for the constant switch of POVs, it may be really confusing and irritating but I’ve written this for, like, two weeks- between doing homework, school projects and stuff so please, don’t blame me- when I start writing in Monday and continue in Wednesday, I have many new ideas and I can’t make it fit any other way except changing the POVs.
Hope it was at least a little enjoyable to read. I certainly enjoyed spending my free time writing it! C:
P.S. I lovelovelove characters with anger issues sorrynotsorry. xp
P.S.2 Had to split the chapter in two halves because it's too long. So this was Part 2