I wanna know the taste of your lips by heart

Chapter 7
Mikey’s POV

Monday mornings were always dreadful since you should get up and just leave your save heaven and go to school where you should communicate with other students you like and dislike, be pushed around by people in corridors. You also think about all the useless stuff we learn at school and you’re like ‘but hey, what do I need this load of shit in real life for, people?!’

Anyway, I made my way downstairs and I checked if I’d taken my notebook with song lyrics, I really tried to take it everywhere I went to just in case a genius idea came to my mind while I wasn’t at home. I got up and found a favourite cup I always drank my coffee from, and made myself and Gerard some coffee. Mine was black, with milk and a lot of sugar, while Gerard’s was plain black, no sugar. How did he manage to drink that, will forever remain a mystery to me.
Just as I was finishing my cup of coffee, he rushed into the kitchen half dressed, with his shirt halfway on his body and his hair a disheveled mess.

“Did I oversleep?”

I just smiled. I was so used to all of this and I could figure him out so easily. He obviously hadn’t slept that night cause he’d been painting something, judging by the different colours of paint on his hands. Also, there were dark circles under his eyes. It was pretty much obvious.

“I’ve made coffee”, I offered “and no sugar”, he quickly went to the wooden table we’d been having breakfast and dinner for years and gulped down the whole thing in one breath.

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late”, I rushed to the door, pulling him with me after he was fully clothed.

“Can’t we stay home?”, he asked, childishly pouting while trailing behind me

“Oh, but you should educate yourself, young mister!”, I tease.

“God, how can you be so damn cheerful, we’re actually going to fucking school. I don’t need it for my art, for God’s sake! Why do I even bother going to this hellhole”, he sulks next to me, while I’m trying to hide my hands as much as possible in the long sleeves of my hoodie to protect myself from the cold.

“Well, you obviously go there because I go there”, I say in a duh tone and nudge his arm.

“That’s kinda true, you know”, he somehow manages to fish my hand from my sleeve and take it in his. I think we walked quite some time like that before we let go and parted ways in the already empty hallways. Obviously late.

I went to my homeroom and opened the door. Suddenly twenty-something eyes were on me and that could always make me feel uncomfortable. I just wished something would happen, like the school being set on fire or whatever just to make them stop staring at me. “Sorry I’m late”, I muttered to the teacher as quietly as I could and waited for her to tell me I could sit. I really wasn’t a fan of attention.

“Well, Michael, we have a new student joining us today, that’s Frank Iero-”, she gestured to a small boy, sitting next to my place where usually no one sat, who was looking right at me just like the rest of the students “-you just missed the introduction. Since there was nowhere else he could sit, I put him next to you. Make him feel welcome, please”, the plump woman smiled her little nervous smile and continued what she was writing on the board before.

I quickly made my way to the back of the room where I usually sat, stumbling on my way and making some jocks snicker. I ignored it and finally sat down, relaxing.

“Haven’t really missed much”, an unfamiliar voice said next to me after a while and I jumped a little at the sudden presence so close to me. Then I looked up at the boy again-

He had delicate features. Small bright pink lips and just the perfect light complexion- not pale like mine. His eyes were something between golden and forest green, reminded me a bit of Gee’s. Something extraordinary I saw at first sight was the piercings- on his mouth and nose. He wore a Black Flag T-shirt I immediately got excited about. I was starting to think I’d get along with this guy- perhaps I really would.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Frank Iero, but you already know that”, the kid said, his eyes bright and his lips curled in a small smile.

“Mikey, but you already know that too”, I smiled a little while pulling my notebooks from my bag and when he didn’t answer for a good minute or two, I thought the conversation has ended when he suddenly spoke.

“So, Mikey, is this school too bad? “, he asked and I looked at him, already knowing he was just like me, at least in the school hierarchy of his previous school.

“Depends on who you are. I suppose there are some really, um, nasty people but you know, there are some in every school”, I scratched the back of my neck “Why, was it that bad in your last school?”, I asked sympathetically. He looked away, sighing.

“Well yeah, something like that. I kinda lost it once when a jock wanted to humiliate me and- here I am.”, I let out a simple ‘oh’ because I really wasn’t a fan of people with anger issues. I wasn’t so sure if I’d get along with him anymore. I looked away awkwardly.

“I scared you, didn’t I? I mean, I usually don’t do that kind of stuff, it was just this one time and- ugh, I guess you don’t really care, I don’t know why I’m saying that to you”, he turned to his notebook and wrote the things the teacher had written on the board.

“I can, uh, still relate to the bullying, so”, he looked at me again and I smiled at him- I decided I wouldn’t judge him for whatever he’s done in the past- we would really get along. He smiled too.

“So, I see you listen to Black Flag”
~

Gerard’s POV (kinda like a week later, Monday)

So, as the week went by, I spent more time with Kyle and his friends just like we used to before. He was acting pretty normal and we were hanging out pretty much all the time, especially in school. I didn’t really know if I did it just because I felt grateful and felt like showing it or if I wanted to be around him again and be friends like we once were.

I’ve even started having lunch at their table again in the cafeteria while Mikey sat with that short boy, called Frank I had been hearing much about from Mikey. He seemed like an okay guy so I was happy Mikey was making friends. To have poor social skills is not an advantage in high school, trust me.

So as Kyle and I were walking towards Chemistry in Monday and we were talking about some casual school stuff, Derek, one of Kyle’s friends, bumped into us, or rather flew towards us.

“Dude! Dude- there’s this huge party Anthony is throwing this Friday! You should totally come with us- he’s inviting people who invite friends who invite their friends who invite friends of friends and oh my god it’s gonna be big! You’re coming, right?”, Derek said somehow in one breath and looked excited as fuhk.

Derek was a short guy with spiky dark blonde hair and small brown eyes who always dressed very punk-rock. I also had a theory he had an ADHD which was definitely showing in that moment. He was cool to hang out with, though.

“Oh, well, Anthony really throws some epic bashes, doesn’t he! You wanna go together?”, Kyle turned to me expectantly and Derek was looking at both of us.

“Well I, I don’t know, I mean-“

“Oh, come oooon, please, you really should come, mate”, Derek grinned.
“Besides, I’ll go only if you go”, Kyle added, grinning too. I let out a sigh.

“Dear God, fine, I’ll go”, I groaned but smiled nevertheless. I liked being around those people.

Then we went to Chemistry.
~
The week that followed was quite an unpleasant one, to say the least. I didn’t have any spare time at all and I mean, the only thing I drank for the last three days of the week, was coffee, to keep me awake and alive. I easily skipped meals because I simply didn’t have the time for such things. I didn’t even have time for my art. I had to study for exams and whatnot, hard. And compared to Mikey, I was learning things only when I studied hard, he always had free time even though he really studied.

Mikey. I was too busy and he always seemed to be somewhere else when I actually tried to spend some time with him. What was he doing, I had no idea. He apparently had more important stuff to do than staying at home and waiting for me to have some free time when I still would’ve been tired and not really the best company. And I couldn’t blame him, of course.

Until Friday, I was absolutely exhausted like never before in my life. I was running on autopilot while getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, showering, dressing, saying ‘bye’ to mom, going to school. I was wondering when will the coffee stop doing its magic and when will I fall asleep while I was walking down the street. I was ready to die from lack of sleep.

School was the same as it was all week and I didn’t know how I would be able to go to the party. However, I’d already promised to Kyle and I didn’t want to let him down so when he said he’d pick me up at eight, I agreed.

Mikey had decided to go home with me after school. I was walking out of the building when I felt a palm on my shoulder. I could somehow tell it was Mikey- it may have been the exact pressure of his hand or the way his hands were always soft and cold and easily recognizable but I liked to think I just knew it with my heart.

“Oh, hey” I said as I turned around to see him. He was standing there smiling at me and I felt like shit but I just couldn’t smile from the exhaustion, I tried to but it came out like some kind of a grimace. It was like the exhaustion was speaking for me.

We started walking and when we were enough far away from school, he tried to grab my hand but I just put mine in my pocket. I don’t know exactly why, but everything was really annoying and the smallest thing could irritate me greatly. And we walked in silence for a while.

“So, what’s up?”, he asked awkwardly after some time.

“Not much”, I answered shortly, not up for chit-chat “you’ve been with that boy, what’s his name, Frank all week, haven’t you?”, I saw him blush and his eyes shining strangely “Y-yes, I have”, he stuttered. I dismissed it as not that important.

“You don’t look very well, Gee”, I turned to him, only to see him looking at me with worried gaze which had a negative effect on me.

“I’m fine”, I said through gritted teeth.

“I-I just care about you and-“

“You know what, stop caring so much then, Michael! I can take care of myself perfectly well”, I snapped at him and he just looked at me scared. Okay, I may have been a little too harsh but I was really tired and I couldn’t control myself.

“Michael?”, he said disbelievingly. I really didn’t call him Michael, like, ever.

After that, we walked in silence once again, both of us walking faster. I, personally, just wanted to sleep forever, and him, well, he was probably very mad at me. I couldn’t make myself care much when I was this tired.

Once we reached our house, he ran up the stairs and closed his door rather loudly.

“Mikey, Gerard? What’s happening?”, dad said from the kitchen. Weird.

“Dad, why are you at home?”, I asked surprised.

“This Friday was not very productive, hadn’t had much work to do”, dad said, perching his glasses on the end of his nose and leaving his book aside.

“What happened with Michael?”, he gave me that worried look too and I couldn’t be polite and all for much longer so I tried to end the conversation as soon as possible.
“Some school stuff, nothing to worry about”, I said dismissively and added “Dad, I’m just really tired, I’ll get a nap now”, I said and rushed for the stairs when he nodded.

“By the way”, I stopped at the stairs, remembering to ask about something “there’s this party this evening, I can go, can’t I?”

“Oh, you’re going together with Mikey and that Frankie boy, right?”, dad said from the kitchen.

“Actually, I’m going with Kyle and some other friends”, I said, quite confused. Why wouldn’t Mikey tell me about that?

“Okay. Still, take care of your brother”

“I will”

I really couldn’t stay awake and sane anymore, so I rushed to my room, went to bed and died.
(A/N okay, he didn’t really die, so don’t worry xd)

~
Mikey’s POV
I got to know Frankie more. As I guessed, he turned out to be a decent guy, actually a great friend to hang out with. Everything was great, we talked about the music we were into, the bullies we tried to avoid in school, the dreams we had for the future. I talked about Gerard a lot, of course, making it obvious how much my brother meant to me. I went to his house- his mother had divorced his father and they lived alone so he usually had the house for himself all day while she was working. We also hung out a lot around the town frequently.

I was comfortable around Frank and his easy-going nature was a relief for me, and I was genuinely glad I’ve found one more person I could be around without feeling awkward, since I didn’t have many friends.

The week was going great until this one time I went to his house.
~
“Hey, Frankie”, I said as I opened the door to his perfectly organized room, a collage of his friends and relatives on one of the walls, three different kinds of guitars in the corner of his room, a desk with a computer with books above it on shelves, ordered perfectly by shape and length, a wardrobe, his bed and right next to it, his dog’s little cute bed.

“Oh, hey Mikey, come on in!”, he greeted, turning his head a little from the computer and smiling at me. I peeked behind him to see what he was looking at.

“So, I was trying to learn this song on acoustic guitar but I just can’t”, he stood up and got the acoustic one “I wanted you to come if maybe you can show me how to do it…”, he smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, no problem”, I’ve said and we got to work. I heard the song, tried to play it on his bass guitar, then played it on acoustic and tried to show him how to play it by himself.

“You gotta change positions faster than that for it to sound smoother”, I instructed. He tried again, and again, and again, but a particular part of the song just wouldn’t happen like it should’ve and he looked at me rather miserably. That’s when I sat behind him on the bed, my legs stretching quite awkwardly around his hips and my hands tangling between his own on the neck of the guitar. I felt him shiver. I didn’t understand then, the windows were closed and the room was relatively warm.

“Just like-that-”, I played that specific part of the song with my hands on his a couple of times until his hands got used to the movement. “Now do it by yourself”, I said and let go of his hands. I still stayed behind him, though, waiting for him to play it, just to be sure he did it right. And indeed, he did it this time.

“Thank you”, he said after I sat at my place next to him again with such quiet little voice that I barely heard him.

“Not at all”, I said, looking at his tense shoulders and big eyes. What had happened?

“I need to tell you something”, he blurted out after a couple of seconds.

“Yeah?”

“I-I…no, it’s stupid, really”, I’ve never seen him act so strange before, I almost wanted to hug him.

“No, what is it, you can tell me”, I pushed.

He looked at me intensely, his pupils dilating so much that I could barely see his green eyes, he ran his tongue against his piercing and his dry lips while his gaze fell to my lips and he leaned forward-

The kiss was unexpected, new, and a little primal. He was just pushing his lips against my lips in hopes mine would start moving against his mouth. In hopes I would give him a sign I liked him back. I was so shocked that I automatically kissed back without feeling anything.

When he pulled back I saw him, I really saw him. I saw the perfectly shaped round eyebrows, his silky brown locks and his big green eyes. And green was a great colour, really. I saw his soft, light skin, the shiny piercing on his beautifully shaped mouth and his toned body. I saw all of him and in that moment, I knew all of him could’ve been mine. Frank was a loyal one, never letting people down and always sincere about his feelings, that much I have seen from him in the last weeks.

The thing I knew best, however, was that I didn’t want all of him. I didn’t crave his scent like I craved Gerard’s coffee-stained one. I couldn’t watch into those eyes, full of adoration like I could watch into Gerard’s, always full of passion, always for me. I didn’t want him to write me songs that I wouldn’t be appreciating as much as I appreciated every little doodle Gerard had drawn of me. What I wanted, was Gerard. With his sickly pale skin and the arms that offered comfort and safety anytime I needed them. The dyed black hair with the roots he always let grow and mingle with the black hair dye. His messy room and his messy art, his amused smile when I ate spaghetti (because I really sucked at eating spaghetti like a normal person). I loved it all and I couldn’t, I simply couldn’t be with Frankie when I knew Gerard wanted me as much as I wanted him.

“I can’t, Frankie”

“W-why?”

“I’m with, uh, someone”

“Oh. You haven’t told me”

“I know. I’m sorry”

“It’s okay”

Then we stayed quiet. Every word would have been lacking its value, therefore would’ve been worthless. And I really didn’t want it to be like that, he was still my friend. Like he could read my thoughts, he suddenly spoke.

“Can we still be friends?”, he looked like a child, denied a candy.

“Of course we are friends, I’m not letting you go so easily”, I smiled at him a little and he smiled, although his eyes were a little red. I had all my life to feel guilty about it.

“Thank you”, we both stood up and I hugged him, to let him know things between us were like before.

Then I went home.
~

And after that, I, of course, didn’t tell Gerard. He would’ve been mad either at me, or at poor Frankie and I didn’t want that. Other thing was, Gerard was always busy, like, always. I couldn’t even approach him.

Then shit went down. Friday was the worst day of the whole week. How could Gerard be angry with me for caring about him? What have I done wrong? And why didn’t he want to hold my hand? I didn’t know what to do, really. He was rarely this irritated with me and I felt really bad. So if he couldn’t stand me, I’d have been staying away. I hated fighting with him but I was hurt and I preferred to stay away.
~

Notes

I can’t even begin to describe how sorry I am for the lack of updates and the reasons are many, the first one in my list being school, of course. I really had no time for anything other than schoolwork. I am Gerard in this chapter, kinda. I act exactly the same way as him when I’m exhausted and I actually make people around me feel bad which is horrible, I know. Also, I wanted to say sorry for the constant switch of POVs, it may be really confusing and irritating but I’ve written this for, like, two weeks- between doing homework, school projects and stuff so please, don’t blame me- when I start writing in Monday and continue in Wednesday, I have many new ideas and I can’t make it fit any other way except changing the POVs.
Hope it was at least a little enjoyable to read. I certainly enjoyed spending my free time writing it! C:
P.S. I lovelovelove characters with anger issues sorrynotsorry. xp
P.S. Had to split the chapter in two halves because it's too long. So this was Part 1