At the end of the day, i can still feel the spot where that asshole, Anthony, threw that can of cashews. I was eating my apple, like i do everyday, and i feel a bang! on my head. I can feel it before the cafeteria can hear the ricochete and when everyone hears it, an eruption of laughter starts. There is more laughter when he announces that i needed to eat because i am skin and bones.

Thinking of this pisses me off and i take out a cigarette and place it between my lips. I light it and inhale and sweet smoke. As i walk, i think of how everyone treats me because i like My Chemical Romance and i dress in black. People in Hudson Falls only care about Aeropastal clothing and pop music.

I see my apartment at the end of my street and i drop my cigarette and crush it into the snow with my heel. When i walk in, my mom is in her pajamas, like always. She works nights at McDonalds and i guess for her it means she gets to either sleep all day or fuck her boyfriend.

When i walk in, my mom tries to ask me how my day is.

I shrug,"Like everyday."

I stomp to my room and crank my radio. I go to my dresser and open my top drawer. I take out my tin that hold my blades and pick out one that smiles at me. I smile back and lift up my pant leg and place the blade on my thigh. I take a deep breath and swipe it across my skin.

The pain is a sudden rush and i watch the blood trickle down my leg onto my sheets. When i am done, i clean myself up and grab my laptop. I go on my twitter page and post another quote from Gerard Way, my life, my saviour. He is the reason i didnt kill myself years ago.

My dream is to meet them in real life and to become like them, to change the world with my voice. But i dont know if i have a good voice or not. Thats why a week ago, i posted a video of me singing Helena.I got views and likes, but maybe they are just doing that to be nice.

I dont have a lot of talents and i like dark music. I feel worthless. No boys like me and girls hate me. Maybe no one would care if i left. But i made a vow that i wouldnt kill myself. Ever. I have too much respect for what Gerard Way says.

I go on Skype and post another video diary. I explain my life and my troubles and my self harm. When im done, i close my laptop get into my pajamas and sleep the day away.

Notes

Comment, suscribe like Im out

-MCRU