Wounded Secrets

It had been a week since the whole Frank/Punch/Fangirl shit had happened and the bus had so much of a better feeling throughout the bus and everybody was more happy overall since dad and I made up.

"No, stop!" I whined as I tried to win the claw machine again.

"Here, let me help you." Ray said, putting his hand on top of mine on the joystick for the claw. He positioned it just right to get the biggest blue bear in the machine. The claw finally picked it up effortlessly and I grabbed it from the drop point and jumped up and down, hugging Ray while yelling "THANK YOU!" Over and over.

"Your welcome, your welcome." He laughed. I jumped into his arms and pulled him into a giant hug. I pulled away and looked up at him with a large grin on my face. To my dismay, he pulled me up closer to him and connected our lips. I shook my head and tried to push him off by his shoulders, but unfortunatley he was holding me up off the ground. After a few more second he pulled away and put me down. I ran as fast as I could, pushing past Frank, who had probably seen the whole thing and ran onto the bus.

I climbed in my bunk and hugged my pillow to my face. I let my eyes release the tears they had been holding in as I ran. After a few minutes I heard the bus doors open and I tried to quiet myself down and push back further into the corner of my bunk. After a second, I thought it was just the driver getting back on or Brian getting off and I let myself go a little and cried louder.

"Bandit?" I heard Ray. I immediately went silent and pulled my pillow closer, afraid to face Ray for the first time in my life. I scooted back so that I literally couldn't move anymore without going through the wall. Despite my efforts to stay hidden, Ray soon opened the curtain and I buried my face farther into the pillow. "Bandit, please, I'm sorry."

I felt him him touch my arm and I tried to flinch away, but had no more room to move away. "Ray, p-please stop." I stuttered.

"Bandit, please stop. I'm sorry, I just- it just happened, my brain didn't process anything and my body moved on its own." He said quickly. I just pulled my knees to my chest and squished the pillow closer to me.

"Ray, st-stop, please. I-I know you had t-to have some k-kind of attraction to m-me to let your m-mind even have th-that thought." I cried into my pillow. i heard and felt him hop up into my bunk and I cringed, despratley trying to move away from him.

"Bandit, I'm sorry. I never should have touched you." Ray sighed. I eased up on my pillow and looked over at Ray.

"Y-You know, if it was just a really quick kiss I wouldn't have been as upset. I-It's just when you held me still I panicked." I sighed, hiccuping a couple times.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking up at me. I looked over at him too and saw he was about to crush the back pack I kept all my drawings in. I kept over to him and pulled my backpack from beside him. He was a little surprised at first. I put the backpack nicely on the other side of my bunk. I turned back to Ray who looked nervous beyond comprehension.

A sudden rush of guilt rushed over me. I completely turned around to him and put my pillow on my lap. He looked up at me from his previous gaze at his hands that were folded in his lap. He looked from my eyes to my lips for a few minutes before he slowly began to lean forward. I really didn't want to kiss him again, but my stomach clenched and I didn't want to move. I thought, maybe if I struggled then I would get hurt or something so I just sat there and looked at him. Soon his lips were on mine and I was squeezing my eyes shut and hoping it would be over as quickly as it had started.

Unfortunately, Ray wasn't done yet and thought I was enjoying it. He licked my bottom lip a couple times, asking for entrance, but after countless attempts just slipped his tongue in my mouth and let it explore. I don't really want to describe what happened next, because it's still hard for me to talk about someone who was like an uncle to me- like a second or third father raping me.

"Hey Bandit, are you-" Frank pulled the curtain open and Ray pulled his arms away from around me and backed off. I looked at Frank and saw just how hurt he was.

"No, Frank, it's-" I started, jumping from my bunk.

"No, ha, Bandit I'm done." He said, turning away from me and walking off the bus, making sure to slam the door behind him.

i collapsed on the ground in agony, my clothes still barely hanging off of me.

Notes

Shit. I'm sorry.