Danger Days

we arrived at the cemetery. i saw the casket, it was closed. i cried. all the boys came to keep me company. it was a small funeral. some of her friends came. i stood up and gave my speech

you may have not been the best mother in the world, but i love you mummy.
Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

i cried while saying that end bit and i saw the boys having heart felt smiles. we left and they hugged me. to try and lift my spirits we all went out to dinner. some girls knew who they were but didnt want to annoy us because we all had sad looks. we all ordered our food and eating with everyone made me happy. i checked my phone and saw a message from my dad. i decided to answer it.

hey sorry about everything, i know this isnt a good enough apology for what i put you through but i would really like to make things better between us.
i replied saying i would like that very much. he texted me his address. i packed a little bag and told them i was going for a drive to clear my head. they nodded and i left. i drove to my dads house. i pulled up in the drive way. i sat in my car for a bit deciding if i should go in. i got out of my car and knocked on the door. he answered it and gave me a hug. i saw a woman there and she was holding a little baby. i smiled and walked in. "its been so long since i have seen you! i remember when you were Jason's age, so small and cute." he started going on about my childhood, well that he was there for. i looked at Jason he looked like me when i was little. the woman passed him to me. he was really cute to be honest. he had big cheeks and a smile that was almost as big. i smiled at him. i giggled. "how old is he?" i asked my dad. "about 7 months." it made me want a baby in a weird way so i could see this, but than i though why not just come over some more? "hey do you mind if i come over a bit so i can see him, i feel like we bonded." "yeah sure thats perfect." he said with a smile. i looked at my phone. "shoot its 5.00" i said. i better get going. i said and handed Jason back to my dad and left without saying goodbye. i walked to my car and heard my phone rang, it was frank i laughed and answered "hey, are you far from coming home?" "im on my way see you soon," "okeee dokee" when i got back they all looked at me and i smiled. they all settled back into what they were doing. i had been living there for almost 3 months now. i was starting to get use to this life of comfort. i told them about how i saw my dad and his new son, Jason. i showed them a photo. "awwww" they all said. i laughed a little and put my phone next to my leg. "im going to see him a bit more i think, i wanna be there for Jason and make sure he doesnt turn out like me, you know?" "thats a good idea" a smiling Matt said.
after 8 years of seeing Jason every other weekend, i felt like i had a purpose growing up, my little brother. Jason liked my son aswell. little mike was a little rascal he was only two but owned me and his father, Andy. i drove back to my place after seeing Jason again and saw some cars out the front. Mike was sleeping so i picked him up and walked in. all the guys were there i put mike to bed and smiled at them. i met Andy halfway and kissed him. when i was in the kitchen with the boys i asked why they were here. "we missed you!" i heard frank say as he hugged me. i laughed. "i missed you too guys." i showed them my new tattoo. "in remembering our fun times together.." i lifted my shirt and showed them my sleeve. i had their faces on animals having a party. they all laughed and hugged me saying it was brilliant. i smiled and lead them outside. i started the fire. we started talking about how we first met, in front of the fire. we all laughed and spent nearly the whole night outside drinking beers. "you guys better stay here tonight." i said laughing watching frank dance with mike.

Notes

sorry i dont know how to end things :/