The Silver Lining

My eyes slowly opened and I stared up at the ceiling. I felt around for Gerard and panicked when I couldn't feel him. I quickly sat up. The bus's constant vibration for the wheels against the road had stopped. We are in the next town.

I quickly jumped from his bunk and looked around. That's when i heard shouting from outside the bus. i sighed because i knew that Ray had told Gerard and they were probably shouting. I walked out of the bus and run over to the guys who were holding back Gerard from Ray. I quickly regretted coming out when Gerard saw me and shrugged our of the guy's grip and ran over to me.

"Lola, how long have you fucking known?!" He spat in my face. i let down i few tears before answering.

"Since my last appointment. Felix told me the date of conception."

"Felix?! FELIX?! You mean Dr. Kjellburg. What are you leading him on too?! when is the twin coming?!" he pushed me to the ground and kicked me in the back as hard as he could before they were able to pull him back. i let my sobs rack my body as he was puled onto the bus again by Ray and Frank. Mikey laid down in the dirt beside me and brought me into a hug.

"He's right you know. " i whispered after i had calmed down and was just staring up at the sky with Mikey beside me. "I'm a fucking whore."

"Lo, don't let him get to you. he was just not expecting the news and didn't know how to take it." Mikey said. i could feel him looking over at me but i didn't dare move my gaze from the light clouds above me.

"No, Mikey. I've kissed every guy on the bus and fucked two. i'm a filthy slut." i let silent tears flow down my face.

"Lola-Fucking-Evans. Stop. You are NOT any of those things. You are a beautiful girl that is being fought over by the guys.

"Thank you." I said after a long silence and eventually the world faded.

&&&

"Frank? Ray?" I whimpered. No answer. The silence was slowly killing me. "M-Mikey?"

I swung my legs off the side of my bunk and tried to carefully lower myself down to the ground. I failed and landed on my back harshly. "Fuck."

I laid on my back for another half hour just staring at the ceiling and waiting for the stars to disappear. Once they were gone I slowly sat up but quickly laid back down when I got light headed.

I don't know how much time passed. Second, Minutes, Hours. Soon I heard quiet talking approaching the bus, getting progressively louder. Soon the door behind me opened but I couldn't even move my eyes away from the same spot on the ceiling.

"Fuck." I heard Frank say. He rapidly approached me and his steps shook my head frantically, making the stars come back again. "What happened?!"

My stare was interrupted with Frank's face over mine. He look very concerned and I don't know why he was that concerned. I mean I'm just laying on the ground. After I didn't reply for a few minutes he frantically picked me up.

And that's when i noticed what i hadn't before.

My thick, sticky blood running down my neck and back.

He sat me backwards on the bathroom so i was facing the mirror.

"Where are the guys?" I asked after he had cleaned the blood from my hair and had started to wipe the blood from the back of my neck.

"They are buying us groceries for the bus and I decided I to come back from the show to check on you." he smirked up at me in the mirror and i felt my heart melt. The smile that made me fall for him the first time made me fall in love with him allover again.

"Thank you." i looked away from his reflection before I got the courage to turn and kiss him.

"Mhm, now. the blood has kind of leaked down your shirt, so if i could-" Frank started nervously before being interrupted by me "Go ahead."

He took my shirt off slowly and gently making sure to not hurt the back of my head. once it was off he continued to clean my back.

"How did you get these scrapes on your back?" he asked as he looked carefully at my back, still massaging the cloth on my skin.

"Probably from when ... When Gerard pushed me to the ground earlier." I said sheepishly. he finished cleaning off all of the blood he could see before looking up at me.

"Lola, if you want me to get all the blood off, i'll need to, erm, take off your bra." Frank said as he pulled me to my feet after i jumped off the counter unsteadily. i simply held the cups of my bra and let him unhook it for me. He gingerly cleaned the last stripe of blood off my back before he put the cloth on the table and looked at our reflection in the mirror.

He stepped towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled his head into the crook of my neck. I felt my stomach tingle as his lips brushed against my skin. He pulled up closer and kissed and sucked around my neck. i moaned when he hit just the right spot and i felt him grow harder against my leg. i turned around to face him and let go of my bra, slowly putting my arms around his neck and then pulling him into a tight hug.

"Lola?" he asked into my hair. "I think i love you."

I puled from the hug to look into his eyes. "I think I might love you too." i said before he took the back of my head and crashed our lips together. Our lips were instantly in sync and i slipped my tongue into his mouth, daring to explore the coffee and cigarette taste. Soon i was pulling our tangled mess of limbs toward the living area. I felt the plush couch touch the back of my leg and I sat him down on the couch. i pulled his shirt off and let him watch as i pulled off my pants and panties and jumped on him. Our lips connected again as i undid his pants and slid them off quickly and easily.

He laughed when i gasped at his bulge and took the opportunity to jump on top of me and pull his boxers off. i connected our lips again and moaned from the mix of pleasure and pain as he unexpectedly rammed into me at what i hope was full speed. He kept up his speed and soon i climaxed, arching my back enough for him to get deeper inside me. Soon he came into me and held me on top of him as we tried to catch our breath.

"Frank." I gasped as i heard heavy footsteps from outside the bus.

"Fuck!" He jumped up and tried to carry me with him to the bathroom but it was too late because Mikey had walked into the bus, his hands full with grocery bags. He looked up from his feet and dropped his bags when he saw me and Frank hugging, close enough that the only risky thing he might see was my ass. His jaw hung open and his eyes went big and i blushed more then i thought was physically possible before Gerard walked in, his hands filled with groceries, too. His eyes flared with anger and hurt at the sight and i buried my head in Frank's chest, missing Ray's reaction. Mikey stormed over to us and i expected him to throw me off the bus, but instead he grabbed Frank and threw him to the ground.

"What the fuck?!" Mikey was seething with anger. I didn't even bother covering myself anymore. I don't care anymore. My last ounce of dignity was lost when they all walked in on us naked. "I know that you seduced her!"

"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. i said as i looked down at myself and read what i had carved into my legs in small print back before i came here. 'Whore', 'slut', 'bitch', 'fuck-up', etc. I saw the tears slide over the scars as i sobbed and i felt an arm around me and cowered away before i saw it was Ray. I clenched onto his shirt and he picked me up bridal style. I felt something wet on my forehead and looked up to see Ray was crying too.

"I'm sorry." he whispered as he put his forehead on mine and rocked me back and forth. I let sobs rack my body and felt his arms pull me into him tighter.

"For fucks sake." Gerard sighed. "She is already back to Ray."

Ray walked to his bunk, wrapped his blanket around me and sat me on one of the couches calmly. He walked over to Gerard and punched him square in the jaw.

"N-No, p-p-please st-stop!" i tried to get out between sobs. But Ray just punched Gerard again and this time sent him flying backwards.

"Ray, stop." Mikey interjected and pulled Ray back. Ray stood, glaring at Gerard's bleeding, terrified face with his fists clenched to his sides.

"Gerard. You are going to shut your god damned mouth or next time I'll knock you out." Ray said through clenched teeth before he walked past Mikey and into the kitchen. Frank slipped on his boxers before Mikey could say something to him.

"Frank Iero, you get your ass over here now and explain why you continue to fucking use Lola like she is your guys' sex toy." Mikey said, standing towards him, so mad his face was red. "You fucking knew she was going through something with them so you decide to fuck her while we are shopping?! AndI know for a fucking fact that you started it because she knows what the fuck is wrong and right!"

"I'm sorry, alright?!" He said simply before running off the bus. I cried and cried into the blanket, ashamed at what I've become.

Notes

Mhm.

So sorry for the shitty grammar and stuff you'll find, still trying to stabalize the website on my phone, so sorry!

I love you all and thanks for the constant support! <3