It's funny how innocence can be the thing that decides if your mature or not. I guess I lost my innocence the first Time my mother told me she didn't like me, I was thirteen then. But innocence is important, it can be life or death.

I remember when I was 10 and Noah was 13. Me and Josh had gotten into a fight about something stupid. I had ran into Noah's room, crying. I'm pretty sure he was used to it seeing as me and Josh Always fight.

"What's wrong, RissyPrissy?" He says, pulling me into his lap. He had looked about 16 when he was 13 and was very mature for his age. He loved me to death. He was the only one who could call me RissyPrissy.

"Josh hit me because I said I liked you better than him." I said, crying. He looked around me, realizing I had a bruise on my face.

" They already got to him." He mutters before hugging me tightly. "I'll never let them hurt you" he says into my ear. I hug him tightly, my small arms reach around his neck.

"Who Noah?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Mommy and daddy. They're bad people. Never believe a word they say. Trust in me, okay?" I nod. Mom and dad had always yelled at him. For his hair, his music, how he acts. Everything about him was wrong in their eyes. But I worshipped him.
He was my idol.

But he's gone now, and that's why I woke up crying. I Hadn't even noticed Gerards grip getting tighter on my waist. He sat up and pulled me into his lap, hugging me to his body. I just turn my head slightly to cry on his shoulder.

"What's wrong Ris?" He asks nervously in my ear, then shhs me to soothe me.

"N-Noah. Noah's G-g-Gone. Noah's-" I can't say anymore, the words bring to much pain. He looks at me with troubled eyes and then he hugs me.

" I don't know who Noah is, and if you want to you can tell me, but I know that it hurts you." I sniff in, trying to relieve the falling tears.

"He's my older brother. He's the only one that cared for me in my family."

"Cared? As in past tense?" He asks with studying eyes. He's only an observer, anyways.

" he died in a car crash when I was 16" I say, looking down to my lap. I bite my lip in order to keep myself from crying.

" Oh Ris. I'm sorry." He says, gripping me with a tighter edge again.

" I just miss him."my lips turn to pout, me trying to refuse to cry. I don't like talking about Noah. It hurts. He just kisses my forehead and rocks back and forth, whispering it's okay. I cry in his shoulder until I fall into a deep, tear stricken sleep.

In the morning, I open my crusty eyes with a blazing headache and a fuzzy memory. I remember most of it, but little parts are hazy. Like I remember seeing Gerard sing, I just can't remember the first few songs.

" Mornin' Ris." I hear behind me. It sounded like he was stretching, making me believe he had just waken up. His voice was pretty loud making me cringe and hold my head.

" Ahhhh" I voice out in pain. He Realizes why an jumps up, running out the door. When he runs back in, he passes me two pills and a glass of water. I take the pills, popping ' em in.

" all better?" He asks, smiling. I nod, then hug him tightly. He's taken by surprise at first, but then hugs back, rubbing my back soothingly. When I let go he looks into my eyes with pure confusion.

"What was that for?" He says, smiling down at my sitting body.

"For helping me. You could have just left me on the streets or with my parents, but you took me I your home. And you gave me a shoulder to cry on in the middle of the night." I say with a thankful smile on my face. He smiles widely and proudly, his crooked teeth showing.

"That was nothing Ris. I will always be a shoulder you can cry on or someone when you need help." He states, keeping the proud smile on his face. "Now we need to get to school. I don't have any girls clothes, so you can borrow some of my clothes. "

I nod and he goes to his closet. He soon makes a noise of victory, I assume he found something. When he walks out of the closet holding a belt, black skinnies, and a large misfits shirt. I grab them and stand up.

"Where is the bathroom?"

" it's not like I haven't seen you before, but it's the room next to this one." I roll my eyes but then realize something. I didn't even explain to him why I ran out like that.

"Gerard are you mad at me for leaving?"he looks at me confused but then realizes what I'm talking about, he instantly starts shaking his head.

"Mad, no. Sad and Confused, yes." I felt guilty again.

" I'm sorry, i just felt so guilty. I have a boyfriend and I did it with a teacher. God I'm a terrible person." I muttered the last part softly, hoping he wouldn't hear. But he puts two fingers under my chin, pulling my eyes up from the view of the floor.

" you aren't a terrible person. If it's anyone, it's me. I convinced you, I'm the technical pedophile here, I will take the blame if we get caught. But all I care about is you" I look into his sparkling hazel eyes and feel myself leaning in involuntarily. I notice he does to, our lips touching in slow motion. It's almost with the cliché fireworks, the spark you feel when you know there is something in that relationship.

It's love. And you know it. It's the foot pop in a movie, the fireworks going on in the background. You feel the emotion explode inside of you and you just wanna take charge of it.
His tongue slides across the bottom part of my lips and then slips into my mouth. I pull him down to my level. He climbs over me, one knee on each side of my hips.

When he pulls away from me, my swooned state tries to cover up the fact we both have school.

" you need to get dressed." He says, climbing off of me and walking out of the room. I sigh, standing up and pulling my clothes off and his clothes on. Once I was fully dressed in the loose clothes, I walk out quietly.

I step towards the kitchen, smelling the smell of some special smelling coffee. It has a very distinct smell, one I would recognize if I had smelt it again. I hear him humming a tune, it sounds extremely familiar. I can't put my finger on it.

I slowly walk towards Gerard, my steps almost silent. I wrap my arms around His waist, setting my head on his shoulder. I hear him sigh happily.

"What kind of coffee is that? It smells amazing." He chuckles at my enthusiasm.

"It's a special blend of amaretto and French vanilla and it isn't factory made. It's made specially in Italy. I order a large order of it every month." He pulls the container out and pours some into two coffee mugs. He then takes out plain creamer. "It truthfully doesn't need sugar"
I pour some creamer into the cup, then takes a small sip. The magnificent taste explodes in my mouth. It tastes so much better, fuller than ordinary coffee. He sees my wide eyes and nods.

"Told you" he says.

We stand there, drinking coffee in comfortable silence and I can't help but think how much more welcome I feel here than in my own home.

Notes

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