Only bad girls will get good grades

I arrive home, putting the cigarette I've been smoking on the drive way before running in and seeing my sister Hannah and my brother Josh. Pretentious names, right?

Did I never mention josh?

Oh, pity.

My one year younger brother josh looks up from the tv in utter disgust.

" why the fuck are you here?"

"Because I live here jackass. Got any other questions?"

"Yeah I do. Why do you dress that way? Why can't you act like the rest of us Normal People" stupid SwagFag. I hate him and his stupid sagging jeans and Aeropostale shirts and his Jordans.

"Because I'm not pretentious as fuck like you and them."

" Or is it because of Noah?" That snapped something in me.

" YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" I yell, pushing his smirking sorry ass onto the wall, putting my arm against his neck. " HOW DARE YOU BE A DICK ABOUT YOU OWN OLDER BROTHER!" I punch him in the face and see the anger boil to his forehead.

"HES GONE NOW SO IT DOESNT MATTER ANYWAY. MOM AND DAD DIDNT EVEN WANT HIM. JUST LIKE THEY DONT WANT YOU." He pushes me off of him, making me fall to the ground and hit my head on the wall. Ouch? Hannah has escaped to her room, staying in a safe zone.

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! HES YOUR OLDER BROTHER! DIDNT YOU LOVE HIM?!"

" About as much as I love you" he snarls out. I go to get up but he puts his Jordan-ed foot on my stomach. " Why don't you just go jump off a bridge and die like him"

" I hate you, Ya little pretentious asshole. You'll probably end up like mom and dad. Sad, unloved, and power hungry."I push his foot off of me as mom walks into the house.

" CLARISSA MEREDITH JACKSON" she yells as she runs over to Josh. She examines the small bruise of my fist forming on his face.

"She punched me mom. I didn't do anything" He raises his hands acting innocent, Attempting to not get into trouble. He doesn't even have to try, I always take the fall of everyones trouble.

"You little liar!" I yell, climbing to my feet.

" Clarissa. leave. now. We'll talk about this later." She says, then rubs his face soothingly again. "My poor baby"

" Fine." I state. Then I walk through the door. I walk past my car, lighting a cigarette on the way to my street. I plug my earbuds in, keeping it loud. count Bodies Like Sheep by Perfect Circle comes on.

I pull in from the cigarette, thinking of Noah.

Oh I miss you Noah.

He was my older brother. He made me who I am. He was the outcast of the family, three years older than me, But when I was 16 he got in a crash on the bridge crossing the Grayson river. The Car spun out of control and flew in.

He had already died from the impact of the crash.

I try not to think about it. I really do. But my brother seems to rely on making me relive that night every chance we get. I'm the only one now. The only weird one. I don't have protection.
But I'm a big girl. And I'll go to college soon, so I'll get away from the ridiculing family I have.

When I come back to my senses, I realize I've stopped infront of a bar. Funny how my brain trails me straight towards the thing I need.

The place Is called House of Wolves. Cool name. I walk up to the door and step in, seeing the place packed. Maybe someone's playing?

My uncles have a band. My uncle Ray and My Uncle Frank. I know what your thinking, how are they cool if you have a sucky family. Well we are related by marriage. Though, Aunt Jamia is pretty cool. I haven't gotten to see Their band yet.

I order drink after drink, surely to get wasted. What would Noah think of me? I'm so terrible. I slept with my teacher for Christ sakes. I'm a disgusting being.

" Now welcoming My Chemical Romance!!!"

Oh fuck me with a spike.
That's Gerard ...
Onstage...
With my uncles.
Shit.
" this is new. It's called my way home is through you."

"Gonna take off all my skin,
Tear apart all of my insides,
When they rifle in,
Mom and Dad think you'll be saved,
They never had the time,
They're gonna medicate your lives,
You were always born a crime,
We salute you in your grave.
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.
[Spoken in background]
(Well my gun fires
seven different shades of shit,
So what's your favorite color, punk?)
Do you wanna hold my hand?
Could you sign this photograph,
'Cause I'm your biggest fan,
Would you leave me lying here?
We're not here to pay a compliment,
Or sing about the government,
Oxycontin genocide,
Adolescent suicide,
I'll give you my sincerity,
{Don't give} a fuck about a Kennedy,
Here's what I've got to say.
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms.
No way home why
We've got to go
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back in her arms,
Can't find my way home,
But it's through you and I know,
What I'd do just to get back, well, in her arms.
I can't find the way
Come on angel, don't you cry
After that song, they play a few others, including one called demolition lovers. They really are awesome.

Once they finish their set, I'm completely wasted. They would've taken my keys if I hadn't walked here.

" Ris?" I hear. I look around and see Frankie.

" Franklin! Long time no see uncle!" I say hugging him. He looks at me testily and then states " your drunk as a skunk"

" Nu uhhhh" I say, crossing my Arms across my chest like a young child.

" I gotta take you home-"

" please don't Frankie! Josh was talking shit about Noah" I see small bits of anger and pity drip into his eyes.

"Alright. But I don't know what to do with you. Jamia would find out and tell your parents, same with Christa." I sigh and look down.

"She can stay at my place for the night." I hear a familiar voice say.

Oh Boy.

Notes

hey guys!!thanks for reading!!!!

this is the thingy for my wattpad version of this: