Only bad girls will get good grades

"So let me get this straight. You have been dating my 17 year old-"
"Almost 18"
"Thanks Ris." Ray says sarcastically, pointing his view towards Gerard again "neice. and you're like 27-"

"25"I say in a bored tone, my head laying on my hand that is resting on my knee thats pulled into my chest.

"Ris. Shush. You guys have Already had..." he makes hand gestures, trying to keep from saying the words out loud. Gerard nods awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"What the fuck were you thinking Gee?" He asks loudly, his voice raising dramatically as he stands up. At least he's not beating the shit out of him. The one who Was beating the shit out of him is in his room, calming down.

"I don't know what I was thinking okay? I was tempted by her. And not just by her looks. Her take no shit attitude, her ability to still stand tall, even after everything she's been through. Just.. Ahh.. I don't know. I couldn't think. Logic wasn't on my side." He falls back onto the back of the couch, putting his hands over his face. Ray basically facepalms.

"What are we gonna do." He mutters to himself" Ris, same fucking question" he says, shaking his head while pulling his hand through his poofy brown hair. He could totally pull a fro if he tried.

"I always had a crush on him. He accepted me, he was a real person. And let's face it, every dumb ass in my school is immature. I just really have wanted to be with him since I was like, a sophomore. stupid I know, but please will you-"

"No." I hear an angered voice say. I look over to the doorway where Frank is standing angrily, his arm s crossed and his eyebrows furrowed." I will not allow this. Gerard you're fucking 25. She's 17. That's not right. 8 years difference. And she's your student you moron. And she's my niece. You're not breaking her heart. No. I won't allow this."

"Frank I wouldn't ever hurt her. I care about her. Why would I hurt someone I care about deeply?" Gee tries to reason, forcing his voice to stay down. Frank walks up to him angrily, poking a finger out towards him.

"What about Mikey. Or Eliza." I saw hurt flash through his eyes and anger flare throughout his body. Is he talking about the dude Mikey from that night? The one with the cool unicorn pin?
"I never meant to hurt Them and you know it. That was a low blow Frank, I wasn't right then." He says, getting in franks face. Frank stands tall, standing his ground to Gerard.

"Who says you won't do it again? What if you physically hurt Ris. She's been through enough don't you think? Why can't you just let her live a happy, normal life?"

"I want to protect her. And if one day I become dangerous to her myself, I will protect her from myself. I will never let anyone touch her!" He yells getting defensive.

"You can't judge that Gee! I can't have her fall in love with someone who can easily hurt her like you can! I don't think this is right-"

"I Love her Frank!" He yells before thinking. Once he realizes what he's said, he rubs his face."I love Clarissa. And that's one thing that won't change." Franks face drops, becoming blank. Then he storms off, knocking things around.

I get chills running down my spine, imagining Frank as my threat of a father. I put my head in my knees, trying to ignore the loud crashing. A constant, steady flow of tears make their way down my face. I just can't stop pissing everyone off, can I?

It's my fault everything started.

My fault Noah died.

My fault my parents hate me.

My fault Gerard and Frank are fighting.

My fault all of this started.

My fault I was beat up.

My fault.

My Fault.

It's all My Fault.

"Ris are you okay?!" I hear Ray say, breaking the now dead silence. I look up to see all three looking at me in pure worry and shock. My eyes widen at the sight. I wipe my eyes hastily, not wanting to draw more attention to myself than I already have.

"I'm fine, what makes you think I'm not?" Frank pulls himself to sit on the table infront of me.

" you just said it's all your fault, sweetie. Which, it isn't by the way" he says, looking at me with sadness.

"Okay" I say blandly, wanting to get off the subject. They don't know. I am. It's obvious. I'm such a curse to this world and to anyone I know.

"Damnit don't do that! Your just like your damn brother, ignoring conversations with 'okay'. Don't lock yourself away Ris!" Frank lectures, using hand gestures to improve the speech. I wanted to say ' I'll die like him too, just like mommy wants. ' but that would probably be taking it too far. Hell, I took it too far with myself. I feel as if I just offended Noah.

I'm sorry Noah. I didn't mean too. I was just mad.

I'm sure if he was alive, he would've helped me. He supported me with everything.

But he's gone.

I have no one.

I deserve no one.

I wish I was in that car with Noah.

I wish I could die.

Well, I could.

Wouldn't be that hard.

It only takes a couple pills.

And guess what.

I've got a whole bottle of Xanax.

I guess I can go through with this.

It's not like anybody cares for me. It's pity. It's always pity. And Gerard?

He'll get over it.

So that's what I'll do, then.

I'll kill myself.

It's settled then.
This was written in the middle of class. I'm such a terrible student -_-

Notes