Only bad girls will get good grades

I remember my first boyfriend.

I was 14, I didn't care for boyfriends before then. His name was Alex, a 17 year old, and damn was he hot. And as older brothers go, Noah threatened Alex. It was strange, Noah looked older than Alex.

Alex seemed so perfect, for the first few months anyway. But that's how most of my relationships play out, don't they?

He turned into a dick.

It started with him treating me like shit. It was at first only him saying stupid things sincerely. But then came to the rough grabbing or the pushing.

Then, once he was fed up with me being scared of my first time, he forced me into it. Technically, you could say It was rape, seeing as I definitely didn't want to, and he forced me to. And by then, he had turned 18 and I was 15, So it was illegal.

How could someone do that to you? If you're not ready, you're not ready. I tried to hide the bruises from Freddy and Noah, but Noah found out. He nearly killed Alex. And Alex was Arrested and charged for rape and abuse. And I think that was the first time I've ever seen Josh show sympathy towards me too.

I have a lot of demons in my life. And they won't stop getting in the way.

In the middle of lunch, the band room door opened, revealing Gerard. I had a few tears from reminiscing Alex. Stress makes me remember things I don't want to, and tell people things I don't want to. Gerard walked up to me and took my hand, pulling me to the art room.

Once we were in the art room, he hastily shut the door and wrapped his arms around me. Why is it that I'm Always crying on this mans shoulder?

"You have a lot of Demons, don't you?" He asks. I feel the vibration of his chest as he talks, I feel his hear beating. I nod digging my face deeper into his shoulder. He leans his head down ontop of mine.

"Is it about Noah?" I shake my head, keeping it in the crook of his neck.

"Alex" I say. Then I realize he doesn't know. I'm always proving myself as an idiot, aren't I?
"He was m first real boyfriend." He pulls away from the hug an pulls two chairs up, sitting in one. I sit down and take this as a continue.

"He was nice ,at first anyway. But I was 14. He kinda forced me to do things I wasn't ready for, it's taken it's toll on me." I say, not further explaining. He looks at me with shock,Surprised by this information.

"I didn't know your life was so sucky" he says shifting in his seat.

"It's not that bad really. I could be homeless or something. I don't know I just feel like I'm a burden on you, you're always the one to help me. I want you to stop it." I say, crossing my arms and looking away. He chuckles.

"You're so cute." He states before giggling again. I am NOT Cute. Don't ever call me cute. I'll show him cute. I stand and sit on his lap, my legs spread so I'm sitting towards him on his lap, my legs split on each Side of him. I lean down and kiss his neck hesitantly, then repeat over and over, rising higher and higher until I reach his lips. I press my lips firmly to his, being in control this time. He kisses back forcefully, taking it farther than I had already.

When I pulled away from him, he pantingly says" Maybe not cute" I giggle and look into his dazzling eyes. " But you sure are sexy" he says kissing me again. I hear the bell ring and I hop off him, about to leave for study hall. Maybe.. I'll be just a little late. It's not like he has anybody at this period anyway. I lock his classroom door, walking back over to him.

"You're skipping class? Tsk tsk tsk Naughty naughty" he says, smirking widely. I walk over to him at a slow pace and when I reach him, we proceed to makeout.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After that makeout session, I ended up missing the whole class time. But I just went to my teacher and told him I had to go home to get something. He's pretty cool.

"Wait you left? I thought you went and were doing...something...with that kid James. aren't you dating? And do you know where Freddy went?" They were both not in there? Weird. I wonder where Freddy was, if he's skipping it's usually with me.

"Well okay. thats weird. Well I gotta go to class so see you tomorrow." I run off to art, smirking when I see Mr. Ways smirk. Well doesn't he feel cocky.

After class I realized I don't have a ride because Gerard brought me.

I guess I'm walking.

"I'm taking you to get clothes,then to Franks." He says, hopping off his desk. I look at him questioningly.

"Why?"

"Because he's worried about what your parents are going to do to you when you get home. He told me to tell you it was Joshes fault that they found out." Ugh. I should have known. But I'm not one to wimp out.

"I'm going Home." I say walking out of the empty classroom into the empty hallway.

"No you aren't" he says grabbing my wrist. I yank it away and continue to walk.

"Look, I'm thankful for the pity and all, but no. I'm not going with you to just put off my parents from yelling at me. I'm fine." I say as I walk away. The sound of his footsteps make me spin around. "And you can't stop me." I say looking into his eyes. He puts a hand on his hip, rolling his eyes.

"Fine. Do what you want. Don't blame me when Frank comes running up to you." He spins around swiftly and walks into the classroom, shutting the door.

I walk out the door and down the road, walking the long trip to my home.

Once I arrive, I reluctantly walk towards the door.

I wish I hadn't.

Behind said door stand an angered mother and father. Or more specifically, my mother And father.

"Are you an idiot. You'll never succeed if you continue on the route your on. I bet if you do we will find you dead from a drug overdose. " she pokes her thin finger into my chest. I swat it away from me.

"You expect me to be a drug addict? Way to have faith in your second oldest, mom. Just because Josh is your picturesque son doesn't mean you get to hate the one who isn't perfect in your eyes." I say.

"Don't speak to your mother like that you ungrateful child." He says stepping in closer towards me.

"I sure am ungrateful. I wish I came from someone who actually cares. Did you know Josh is failing most of his classes? I'm sure you don't know half of the things he does."

"Stop pinning things on your brother. He is a fine student and is a fine person. You're the delinquent here" father says, stepping cloister to me with each word.

"Are you gonna disown me?" I say testily. I step forward, staring into his eyes with bravery. "Are you gonna act like I wasn't born, act like I was never here. I am the smudge in you perfect little track record. Why don't you just act like you only had two kids instead of 4. I'll end up dead anyway, right?"

"Stop talking, Clarissa."

"Your just going to end up sad and alone. And regretful because I will make something of myself even when you didn't have faith in me. And you'll just sit there depressed and hatefu-" I'm cut off my a sharp pain in my cheek. And then a loud booming, unrecognized voice yelling "Shut Up Clarissa!" Followed by more sharp pains surrounding my body.

By the end of it, I hear him tear through the house, knocking down items like lamps and vases. I'm on the ground, holding my stomach in pain as I hear the clacking of her shoes walk away from her Pained child.

Once I compose myself, I stand up pridefully, stepping slowly up the steps and into my room. I grab my bag, packing it with a few sets of clothes and some money I've saved. I grab a jacket and drape it in my arm.

Once I'm packed and ready to leave, I step from the room, passing Josh. He stops from stepping out of his room in shock, looking at all the bruises on my face and body. I pull the jacket on and toss the hood up, glaring at Josh as a sign to say 'this is your fault'. He looks away painfully and shuts his door again.

I step down the stairs, seeing Hannah sitting at the counter bar in the kitchen, glaring at my parents. I wonder what they did to her? I still care about her. She's still young. She's not old enough to decide yet, only to be influenced.

I walk up to her and hug her. She grips me back tightly, in a loving way. I whisper into her ear "Please don't let them get you" and kiss her cheek before letting go. She nods glaring at them again. Does she know what happened?

I walk out the front door, running to my car and hopping in. I start it up, pulling out of the place that kills me.

Now the question is where to go.

Shit.

Notes