You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

I look down at my hands. I can see, even through the haze, that they are covered in crimson blood. The rubies drip off the ends of my fingers, and for sweet short seconds I am enthralled by the little rivers they make in the creases of my skin. I look down at my bare feet; the colour lapped my pale skin. I caught my reflection staring at me in the smashed and blackened mirror. My skin has a ghostly pallor, my eyes sunken pits in my face, my grin wild and reckless, showing off my even row of blood splattered teeth. I know this night. The stars are black and cold, the moon does not shine, does not illuminate the silk bridal gown I know will be there when I look down.
The blood looks dull in comparison to his hair. His neck is twisted at an odd angle, his eyes wider than I’d ever seen them in life, in shock, in fear. His body resembles a broken doll’s, twisted in ways that made me cringe. His flesh barely covers his exposed bones, wounds deep and rotting. I see his eyelids flicker, and see a faltering movement from the gash in his chest, and see his heart steadily beating the blood out of his body. I glance up into the mirror again.
“YOU’RE A MONSTER!” My reflection screams the skin from its bones and the whole room collapses into ash and leaves me in the darkness.
~
“Shh. Shh, Frank. It’s okay, I’m here. It’s alright. C’mon.” I am sweating and shaking from my nightmare, and Gerard is holding me tight, me having been pulled onto his lap. As soon as I’m sure he’s alive, I relax in his grip and hold him, sobbing into his shoulder. He rubs my back gently, making muted comfortable noises. Eventually I stop crying but hold him tighter than ever. I kiss his cheek, and he wraps one of his arms around my middle, and holds my head with his other hand, making me feel like a small child.
“You died in my dream. I killed you.” My voice is tight and strained.
“Hey, now, shh. You’re sorry for what you’ve done; now there’s nothing else to do. I’m afraid the remorse is the bit that hurts most. It could last forever, but you’ll discover that there’s a whole world out there you’ve never known.”
“No one loves me, Gee.” This is my worst fear, the very worst feeling. Knowing that if I were gone, no one would care.
“Do you wanna know a secret, Frankie? I stopped being paid to see you after you stopped feeling so suicidal. Every hour I’ve spent with you is because I’ve wanted to fix you. They said it couldn’t be done. But I think it can. So I spend every waking moment thinking about you, Frank. I love you.”
I pull back to look at him for a moment, my eyes wide. I don’t need to say I love you too, because the way I kiss him and the way he pulls my mouth into his proves that I do.

Notes

Short and sweet, I'm afraid. Time is pressing on.
xo