The only way I'll really smile is if you cut me ear to ear.
Chapter twenty
Gerard's P.O.V
Three days later.
She was just so precious. Everything I've ever wanted and more in such a beautiful girl. Her eyes sparkled with laughter, her dimples showing as she brightly smiled. I felt more then butterflies when I was with her, they were more like dragons. When I sung on stage, I sung for her. I dedicated all my music to her and recieved the cutest little smile from side stage. I wrote more music, I slept more, I gave up alcohol and drugs and I started to clean myself up. She made me a better man, a truthful man, a man in love. She had a strong friendship with my brother, which made me happier. My brother Mikey adored her. Ray protected her and stood up for her. I came to terms about Frank and Charlotte being close, I know they're best friends and it killed me to watch them sing on stage together that night at the party. I thought that I'd be the one to sing with her, hug her and recieve a kiss at the end. Frank slowly gave in and became my friend again.
I have to say, Charlotte is the first girl that has accepted "Frerard", Or whatever the kids call it these days. She actually encourages it. I love that too, how she doesn't care if I kiss another man. I mean Charlotte and I aren't together... but we do have an interest in each other. I love her, I think she loves me. Yeah, 'Think'. I'm actually not sure, the guys seem to just laugh at me when I ask "Does she like me?". I feel like a young boy, having a crush on his bestfriends sister. She makes me blush for christ's sake.
"Okay, I have a good one!" Charlotte smacked the table. The guys and I were sat around the booth. Charlotte sat against the wall, Frank sat next to her and Ray sat next to him. I sat across from them next to Mikey and the wall. The window was open and Charlotte flicked her cigarette, ashes falling off the end. "It was in... uh, GRADE 10! Frank had this crush on this girl that he met for the first time that day-" She grinned and giggled at the upcoming story. I smiled and watched her beautiful face turn red. "Not this story, please!" Frank begged her. "He comes to me, and he-he says this!" She held in her laughter. "He says, 'How do girls work?'. I remember telling him that-that girls are sensitive, you know, Ya-da Ya-da, all that bullshit. Anyway, he comes to me again, the next day. He looked so upset. I asked him 'What's wrong Frankie?' He was like holding his face for some reason" She bursted into laughter and Frank slapped her shoulder. "Don't finish that story Charlotte Cassidy Holmes" Frank made a cranky face. "As I was saying, He took his hand off his face and pouts. He had this 'BIG ASS' purple mark on his face! At first I thought, 'Maybe he got into a fight'. Nope. Turns out he told the girl that she was 'Beautiful, and that her parents must be proud to have raised a beautiful woman'" Frank crossed his arms and Charlotte held in her giggles.
"This is the best part. The girl that he said this to, was- Oh god! This is really fucking good. The girl was actually a man! This guy, was dressed as a woman! Apparently he got paid to dress as a girl for the day" She smacked the table and cried into laughter. Frank blushed and looked down. Ray fell off the booth while laughing. Mikey was shaking with silent laughter and I grinned. "I hate you so much right now" Frank muttered. "You know you love me, puddin'" She ruffled up his hair and he smirked. "I have a story!" Frank looked at Charlotte and poked his tongue. "So. It was grade 12. Last year of High school. She was helping me clean up after a party, it was in the music room. I was mopping the floors and she was picking up the little bits of confetti that were on the ground" He bit his lip before continuing. "This is a good one" Charlotte mutters while combing her dark hair back, the cigarette dangling from her lips. "The guy that she had a crush on, walks in. He was a singer in the school choir, quite talented actually. He walks up to her and they have a conversation, Charlie was blushing like a tomato and he flirted with her. One thought came to mind as I watched them 'PRANK'. I grabbed the big soapy bucket of water..." He covers his mouth as he laughs.
Charlotte rolls her eyes and looks away, giggling a little herself. "I grab the bucket, I walk over to her... And I-I throw the whole bunch of dirty, soapy, water all over her. She stayed so still!" He bent over with laughter. "The perfect thing. Agh. The most perfect thing that could ever happen was when Daniel laughed at her! He gave me a fucking high five and then fucking left" Frank wiped his eyes and started laughing again. "That was so mean of you, you ass hole" Charlotte laughed while shoving Frank. Mikey high fived Frank and shook his head while holding in his laughter. "I have a good one" Mike smiled while looking up at me. "Okay, so Gerard had this really cool girlfriend. She was pretty fucking rad. She liked the same bands and everything. Anyway. She says that her family is going on a holiday, going to some different country and she was going with them. She then says, 'We have to break up'. She wanted to have fun, with other guys in this different country" Mikey laughed and Charlotte giggled. Ray sighed and shook his head, knowing this story all to well. "Leaving poor ol' Gerard behind with a tear and a tiny broken heart" Mike put his hand on my shoulder and laughed.
I slapped his back and he winced. "Hey! No need to get violent" He chuckled. "Ooh! I got a story! So Mikey. Remember Jamie?" Ray raised an eyebrow. "Oh god no! Please! Not this story!" Mikey pleaded. "Too bad. Jamie was a... should I say, FAN? She was OBSESSED with Mikey. So obsessed that she found his number, his address, Gerard's number, MY number and even Frank's. She would call, NON-STOP, everyday. 'Have you seen Mikey around?'" Ray mimicked Jamie's voice. I laughed and face palmed. "Jamie was a big ball of 'Let me cut your face off and wear it'" Ray continued. "So, she was psycho?" Charlie grinned while looking at Mikey. "Yep! Anyway, Mikey calls me. He sounded so distressed. He was like 'Ray. Someone is sleeping beside me. I think it might be Jamie. I'm too scared to call the police, just in case she wakes up' He said to me over the phone. I didn't know what to do, So I got in my car. Drove to his house and went inside. I saw Mikey in his bed, he was like staring at the lump in the bed next to him..." Ray trailed off and I laughed, remembering this.
"I like, pushed the body and they groaned. Mike just piss bolted out of the room and left me behind" Ray laughed and Charlotte chuckled, choking on the smoke in her lungs. Frank patted her back roughly. "I'm alright! Fuck!" She rubbed her back and flipped Frank off. "As I was saying. The lump in the bed was not actually Jamie, but it was Gerard. He was dressed in a night gown... That's why Mike thought he was Jamie! Anyway, I go downstairs, Mike was like hiding behind the couch. So Gerard... the little bastard, he struts over to the couch and scares the living day lights out of Mike. I didn't see it happen but Gerard turned around... He had a massive cut on his cheek! Mikey punched Gerard because he was so scared!" Ray bursted into laughter and everyone joined in, myself included. "Oh god" Charlie wiped her eyes and took a drag of her cigarette. "That was beautiful" She sighed. "Not for me it wasn't" Mikey muttered and I rubbed his back. "We all have those days" I snorted and Frank laughed.
***
"Okay. We need to group up! 3 in one room. 2 in the other! What's it going to be!" Frank looked at us. "I'll take the one with 3" Ray raised his hand. "Choose two people Ray" Frank said. "Mikey and Frank" He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. "That's cool with me" Charlotte winked at me. I blushed and hid my face with my hair. "Okay! Well, here are the keys for your room Gee" He handed me the keys and I nodded. "Remember! Boy's night!" Frank strolled away and I smacked my forehead. "Boy's night?" Charlotte frowned. "I'm the designated driver" I shrug and Charlotte nods. Frank, Ray and Mikey wanted to go to the bar, have a guys night. They said that I was the driver, the 'Soccer mum' Frank said. "May I take your bags, my lady" I bowed and she fanned herself. "Of course Mister Way" She handed me her suitcase and we went to the elevators. "Take care of those knuckle heads tonight" She sighed as she pressed the 3rd level. "I will" I smiled.
She really did care about the guys. "And don't you go doing something stupid. You hear me young man" She waved her index finger at me. "Yes Miss" I smirked and she winked. I unlocked the door to our hotel room and put the bags down. "WEEE!" Charlotte jumped and dived onto one of the king sized beds. "THIS IS MINE!" She rolled around and I pouted. "What If I wanted that one?" I asked. "Well, if you're lucky, we might be able to share" She stopped rolling around and wiggled her eyebrows. "Hmm... I don't know. I mean, this game we've been playing is WAAAY too good to give up. Plus, I'm winning" I stroked my chin and she glared at me. "Fine! I don't care anyway! You can sleep on the poopie bed! Fine with me!" She crossed her arms and huffed. "Hey Charlotte, I've been meaning to talk to you about... well you know... the days that I ignored you" I rubbed my neck and looked down. "Uh- yeah, sure" She smiled weakly. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. I fiddled with my thumbs and blushed a little.
"This is stupid, and definetly not a reasonable excuse for how I treated you, but- um. I-I- ugh" I shook my head and smacked my forehead. "It's okay" She rubbed my back. "Well, I felt. I felt Jealous of you and Frank" I sighed. A heavy weight was lifted from my chest. Charlotte was smiling still. "I understand" She grabbed my hand and I smiled back. "Well, it's just that you two were so close... I wanted to be that close with you. I mean, I really like you Charlotte... Like A LOT" More weight was lifted from my chest. Charlotte was blushing and her eyes watered. "So. You IGNORED her for a week!? Because you were JEALOUS!?" Frank shouted. I flinched and turned to face him. "Are you fucking serious Gerard?" Frank spat. "Frank-I-I. Uh" I didn't know what to say. "SHE COULDN'T SLEEP! SHE COULDN'T EAT! You left her! She cried EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! You said NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! You would glare at her. Send dirty looks to her, JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS!?" Frank was right in my face, jabbing his finger at me. I stumbled backwards, too scared to stand up to him. I knew he was right. I kept my eyes to the floor. "FRANK ANTHONY IERO! LEAVE GERARD ALONE!" Charlotte shouted, I flinched once more. Well that was unexpected. "Leave Gerar- LEAVE HIM ALONE!? HE HURT YOU CHARLIE!" He turned the argument onto her. My eyes widened as they stepped closer to eachother.
"I can deal with that all by myself. Frank, You have always been my safety net, the one that always helped me, the one that guided me, the one that loved me when nobody else did. You helped me through depression, anxiety, heartache and now... Now I don't need your help. I'm a big girl now. I can make my own decisions. If you don't like that... then there's the door" She said, her lips were quivering and her eyes were watering as she pointed at the hotel room's door. Frank stayed still, he was staring at her, his eyes watering and tears were falling from his eyes. "If that's what you want... then I'll go" My heart stopped beating as he walked to the door. He opened it and stopped for a second, turning around to face us again. His eyes were red and he furiously wiped the tears away, his hands shaking. "I just want you to know... that if anything ever happens... Go talk to someone else. I'm done" He slammed the door closed. I was frozen, my eyes wide and my blood felt cold. Then a spine shivering cry came from Charlotte. I turned my attention to her as she fell on her knees, she curled herself into a ball and sobbed out loud. Shit.
"Charlotte! Everything is okay" I said as kneeled beside her. I grabbed her and held her as she cried. "N-no. I just fucking lost... FUCK!" She shouted and clutched my shirt. I rocked her back and forth, she never stopped crying.
***
We were still on the floor, next to her bed. I still rocked her back and forth only this time I was singing to her quietly. Her cries had stopped an hour ago, she was just clutching onto my shirt and sniffling. Everything was quiet except for me singing. I stopped and took a deep breath. Everything was running through my head. What the hell happens now? What the hell is she going to do? I closed my eyes and felt myself cry. I broke up such a beautiful friendship because I was jealous. I felt guilt wrap itself around my heart. Tears of hurt were building up and falling out of my eyes. Sadness spun around in my stomach. A light snore left the lips of the girl in my arms. I should put her in her bed. I lifted her up, my legs shaking a little. I pulled the sheets back and tucked her in.
As I turned to go to my bed, her hand caught mine. "G-Gerard. Can you stay with me?" She whimpered. "Of course" I smiled lightly. I pulled the sheets of her bed back and slid in. I wrapped my arms around her and she snuggled into my chest, I kissed the top of her head and she tried to smile. "Everything will be fine in the morning, you'll see" I sighed and she nodded her head. I hope everything will be fine.
Three days later.
She was just so precious. Everything I've ever wanted and more in such a beautiful girl. Her eyes sparkled with laughter, her dimples showing as she brightly smiled. I felt more then butterflies when I was with her, they were more like dragons. When I sung on stage, I sung for her. I dedicated all my music to her and recieved the cutest little smile from side stage. I wrote more music, I slept more, I gave up alcohol and drugs and I started to clean myself up. She made me a better man, a truthful man, a man in love. She had a strong friendship with my brother, which made me happier. My brother Mikey adored her. Ray protected her and stood up for her. I came to terms about Frank and Charlotte being close, I know they're best friends and it killed me to watch them sing on stage together that night at the party. I thought that I'd be the one to sing with her, hug her and recieve a kiss at the end. Frank slowly gave in and became my friend again.
I have to say, Charlotte is the first girl that has accepted "Frerard", Or whatever the kids call it these days. She actually encourages it. I love that too, how she doesn't care if I kiss another man. I mean Charlotte and I aren't together... but we do have an interest in each other. I love her, I think she loves me. Yeah, 'Think'. I'm actually not sure, the guys seem to just laugh at me when I ask "Does she like me?". I feel like a young boy, having a crush on his bestfriends sister. She makes me blush for christ's sake.
"Okay, I have a good one!" Charlotte smacked the table. The guys and I were sat around the booth. Charlotte sat against the wall, Frank sat next to her and Ray sat next to him. I sat across from them next to Mikey and the wall. The window was open and Charlotte flicked her cigarette, ashes falling off the end. "It was in... uh, GRADE 10! Frank had this crush on this girl that he met for the first time that day-" She grinned and giggled at the upcoming story. I smiled and watched her beautiful face turn red. "Not this story, please!" Frank begged her. "He comes to me, and he-he says this!" She held in her laughter. "He says, 'How do girls work?'. I remember telling him that-that girls are sensitive, you know, Ya-da Ya-da, all that bullshit. Anyway, he comes to me again, the next day. He looked so upset. I asked him 'What's wrong Frankie?' He was like holding his face for some reason" She bursted into laughter and Frank slapped her shoulder. "Don't finish that story Charlotte Cassidy Holmes" Frank made a cranky face. "As I was saying, He took his hand off his face and pouts. He had this 'BIG ASS' purple mark on his face! At first I thought, 'Maybe he got into a fight'. Nope. Turns out he told the girl that she was 'Beautiful, and that her parents must be proud to have raised a beautiful woman'" Frank crossed his arms and Charlotte held in her giggles.
"This is the best part. The girl that he said this to, was- Oh god! This is really fucking good. The girl was actually a man! This guy, was dressed as a woman! Apparently he got paid to dress as a girl for the day" She smacked the table and cried into laughter. Frank blushed and looked down. Ray fell off the booth while laughing. Mikey was shaking with silent laughter and I grinned. "I hate you so much right now" Frank muttered. "You know you love me, puddin'" She ruffled up his hair and he smirked. "I have a story!" Frank looked at Charlotte and poked his tongue. "So. It was grade 12. Last year of High school. She was helping me clean up after a party, it was in the music room. I was mopping the floors and she was picking up the little bits of confetti that were on the ground" He bit his lip before continuing. "This is a good one" Charlotte mutters while combing her dark hair back, the cigarette dangling from her lips. "The guy that she had a crush on, walks in. He was a singer in the school choir, quite talented actually. He walks up to her and they have a conversation, Charlie was blushing like a tomato and he flirted with her. One thought came to mind as I watched them 'PRANK'. I grabbed the big soapy bucket of water..." He covers his mouth as he laughs.
Charlotte rolls her eyes and looks away, giggling a little herself. "I grab the bucket, I walk over to her... And I-I throw the whole bunch of dirty, soapy, water all over her. She stayed so still!" He bent over with laughter. "The perfect thing. Agh. The most perfect thing that could ever happen was when Daniel laughed at her! He gave me a fucking high five and then fucking left" Frank wiped his eyes and started laughing again. "That was so mean of you, you ass hole" Charlotte laughed while shoving Frank. Mikey high fived Frank and shook his head while holding in his laughter. "I have a good one" Mike smiled while looking up at me. "Okay, so Gerard had this really cool girlfriend. She was pretty fucking rad. She liked the same bands and everything. Anyway. She says that her family is going on a holiday, going to some different country and she was going with them. She then says, 'We have to break up'. She wanted to have fun, with other guys in this different country" Mikey laughed and Charlotte giggled. Ray sighed and shook his head, knowing this story all to well. "Leaving poor ol' Gerard behind with a tear and a tiny broken heart" Mike put his hand on my shoulder and laughed.
I slapped his back and he winced. "Hey! No need to get violent" He chuckled. "Ooh! I got a story! So Mikey. Remember Jamie?" Ray raised an eyebrow. "Oh god no! Please! Not this story!" Mikey pleaded. "Too bad. Jamie was a... should I say, FAN? She was OBSESSED with Mikey. So obsessed that she found his number, his address, Gerard's number, MY number and even Frank's. She would call, NON-STOP, everyday. 'Have you seen Mikey around?'" Ray mimicked Jamie's voice. I laughed and face palmed. "Jamie was a big ball of 'Let me cut your face off and wear it'" Ray continued. "So, she was psycho?" Charlie grinned while looking at Mikey. "Yep! Anyway, Mikey calls me. He sounded so distressed. He was like 'Ray. Someone is sleeping beside me. I think it might be Jamie. I'm too scared to call the police, just in case she wakes up' He said to me over the phone. I didn't know what to do, So I got in my car. Drove to his house and went inside. I saw Mikey in his bed, he was like staring at the lump in the bed next to him..." Ray trailed off and I laughed, remembering this.
"I like, pushed the body and they groaned. Mike just piss bolted out of the room and left me behind" Ray laughed and Charlotte chuckled, choking on the smoke in her lungs. Frank patted her back roughly. "I'm alright! Fuck!" She rubbed her back and flipped Frank off. "As I was saying. The lump in the bed was not actually Jamie, but it was Gerard. He was dressed in a night gown... That's why Mike thought he was Jamie! Anyway, I go downstairs, Mike was like hiding behind the couch. So Gerard... the little bastard, he struts over to the couch and scares the living day lights out of Mike. I didn't see it happen but Gerard turned around... He had a massive cut on his cheek! Mikey punched Gerard because he was so scared!" Ray bursted into laughter and everyone joined in, myself included. "Oh god" Charlie wiped her eyes and took a drag of her cigarette. "That was beautiful" She sighed. "Not for me it wasn't" Mikey muttered and I rubbed his back. "We all have those days" I snorted and Frank laughed.
***
"Okay. We need to group up! 3 in one room. 2 in the other! What's it going to be!" Frank looked at us. "I'll take the one with 3" Ray raised his hand. "Choose two people Ray" Frank said. "Mikey and Frank" He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. "That's cool with me" Charlotte winked at me. I blushed and hid my face with my hair. "Okay! Well, here are the keys for your room Gee" He handed me the keys and I nodded. "Remember! Boy's night!" Frank strolled away and I smacked my forehead. "Boy's night?" Charlotte frowned. "I'm the designated driver" I shrug and Charlotte nods. Frank, Ray and Mikey wanted to go to the bar, have a guys night. They said that I was the driver, the 'Soccer mum' Frank said. "May I take your bags, my lady" I bowed and she fanned herself. "Of course Mister Way" She handed me her suitcase and we went to the elevators. "Take care of those knuckle heads tonight" She sighed as she pressed the 3rd level. "I will" I smiled.
She really did care about the guys. "And don't you go doing something stupid. You hear me young man" She waved her index finger at me. "Yes Miss" I smirked and she winked. I unlocked the door to our hotel room and put the bags down. "WEEE!" Charlotte jumped and dived onto one of the king sized beds. "THIS IS MINE!" She rolled around and I pouted. "What If I wanted that one?" I asked. "Well, if you're lucky, we might be able to share" She stopped rolling around and wiggled her eyebrows. "Hmm... I don't know. I mean, this game we've been playing is WAAAY too good to give up. Plus, I'm winning" I stroked my chin and she glared at me. "Fine! I don't care anyway! You can sleep on the poopie bed! Fine with me!" She crossed her arms and huffed. "Hey Charlotte, I've been meaning to talk to you about... well you know... the days that I ignored you" I rubbed my neck and looked down. "Uh- yeah, sure" She smiled weakly. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. I fiddled with my thumbs and blushed a little.
"This is stupid, and definetly not a reasonable excuse for how I treated you, but- um. I-I- ugh" I shook my head and smacked my forehead. "It's okay" She rubbed my back. "Well, I felt. I felt Jealous of you and Frank" I sighed. A heavy weight was lifted from my chest. Charlotte was smiling still. "I understand" She grabbed my hand and I smiled back. "Well, it's just that you two were so close... I wanted to be that close with you. I mean, I really like you Charlotte... Like A LOT" More weight was lifted from my chest. Charlotte was blushing and her eyes watered. "So. You IGNORED her for a week!? Because you were JEALOUS!?" Frank shouted. I flinched and turned to face him. "Are you fucking serious Gerard?" Frank spat. "Frank-I-I. Uh" I didn't know what to say. "SHE COULDN'T SLEEP! SHE COULDN'T EAT! You left her! She cried EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! You said NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! You would glare at her. Send dirty looks to her, JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS!?" Frank was right in my face, jabbing his finger at me. I stumbled backwards, too scared to stand up to him. I knew he was right. I kept my eyes to the floor. "FRANK ANTHONY IERO! LEAVE GERARD ALONE!" Charlotte shouted, I flinched once more. Well that was unexpected. "Leave Gerar- LEAVE HIM ALONE!? HE HURT YOU CHARLIE!" He turned the argument onto her. My eyes widened as they stepped closer to eachother.
"I can deal with that all by myself. Frank, You have always been my safety net, the one that always helped me, the one that guided me, the one that loved me when nobody else did. You helped me through depression, anxiety, heartache and now... Now I don't need your help. I'm a big girl now. I can make my own decisions. If you don't like that... then there's the door" She said, her lips were quivering and her eyes were watering as she pointed at the hotel room's door. Frank stayed still, he was staring at her, his eyes watering and tears were falling from his eyes. "If that's what you want... then I'll go" My heart stopped beating as he walked to the door. He opened it and stopped for a second, turning around to face us again. His eyes were red and he furiously wiped the tears away, his hands shaking. "I just want you to know... that if anything ever happens... Go talk to someone else. I'm done" He slammed the door closed. I was frozen, my eyes wide and my blood felt cold. Then a spine shivering cry came from Charlotte. I turned my attention to her as she fell on her knees, she curled herself into a ball and sobbed out loud. Shit.
"Charlotte! Everything is okay" I said as kneeled beside her. I grabbed her and held her as she cried. "N-no. I just fucking lost... FUCK!" She shouted and clutched my shirt. I rocked her back and forth, she never stopped crying.
***
We were still on the floor, next to her bed. I still rocked her back and forth only this time I was singing to her quietly. Her cries had stopped an hour ago, she was just clutching onto my shirt and sniffling. Everything was quiet except for me singing. I stopped and took a deep breath. Everything was running through my head. What the hell happens now? What the hell is she going to do? I closed my eyes and felt myself cry. I broke up such a beautiful friendship because I was jealous. I felt guilt wrap itself around my heart. Tears of hurt were building up and falling out of my eyes. Sadness spun around in my stomach. A light snore left the lips of the girl in my arms. I should put her in her bed. I lifted her up, my legs shaking a little. I pulled the sheets back and tucked her in.
As I turned to go to my bed, her hand caught mine. "G-Gerard. Can you stay with me?" She whimpered. "Of course" I smiled lightly. I pulled the sheets of her bed back and slid in. I wrapped my arms around her and she snuggled into my chest, I kissed the top of her head and she tried to smile. "Everything will be fine in the morning, you'll see" I sighed and she nodded her head. I hope everything will be fine.
Notes
Hey...
So that kind of happened. Sorry, people wanted a big dramatic thing to happen.
So. Yeah. I feel so upset now. I actually cried through writing this. UGH!
NO! I AM TOO OLD TO CRY OVER THIS!
MERH!
OH MY FUCKING GOD GUYS! WATCH THIS! IF YOU CAN'T THEN SORRY... xx
dude omg i miss this story so much and i hope youre okay ;-;
12/22/14