Disenchanted

The first week of Frank’s release passed without much event; the two spent most of their days curled up either in bed or on the couch, passing the days watching crappy movies and working their way through large vats of popcorn. They were practically joined at the hip, spending their time constantly entwining their bodies with each others, a hand always resting on a leg, an arm brushing against another, or wrapped around a stomach, fingers brushing hairs out of the others eyes, and lips constantly pressed to the others lips, or face, or neck or jaw. Of course they ventured outside often too, visiting Mikey at his workplace and checking out the latest comics at the same time, or sitting by the riverside, swinging their legs and holding hands, throwing old stale bread to the ducks who stared at them inquisitively. They bought coffee and walked around the local park, Frank often breaking the clasp of their hands to lean down and pet a passing dog, not mentioning how much he missed Mama, but Gerard being able to tell anyway. They enjoyed their new found freedom, both their freedom of being together as a couple, being able to kiss and hold hands in public, with no one knowing them, no one passing remarks, and Frank's freedom of being back in the 'real world', with no one to dictate him or censor him. They existed as a normal couple, and a happy one at that. They were able to enjoy the simple pleasures that so many others had begun to take advantage of, as they were new to them. Everything was new and exciting; for once in both their lives, they felt free.

Whoever rose first in the mornings would make coffee and bring it to the other who was still in bed, waking them up with a kiss on the forehead and placing the steamy cup in their hands. Frank would sit on the kitchen counter and swing his legs whilst Gerard made them breakfast or dinner, teasing him and laughing at his corny jokes, begging him to sing, which Gerard would often do, humouring Frank to make him smile. Frank would strum away on Pansy at Gerard's request and Gerard would marvel at how nimble and quick his fingers were, how raw and passionate the sounds he could make were. Frank was the same with Gerard's talents, walking about the apartment and picking up fallen sheets of crumpled paper containing quick five minute sketches. He would smooth the papers out and trace the ink, thinking about how well his boyfriend could draw. He would rescue thrown away drawings from the wastepaper bin and laughed fondly when Gerard would have to throw away his notes and start writing them out again after he had zoned out and started drawing in the corner of the page. At night they would both hang out of their open bedroom window, clutching cigarettes between their fingers and breathing in the smoky midnight air, listening to the sounds of the traffic and watching the city lights, trying to spot the stars in the velvet sky as they chain smoked the night away. Then, they would put out their cigarettes or simply drop them down into the night below, and collapse into bed, snaking their arms around the other and bringing them close, whispering in their ear and kissing them, wanting the other so much it was almost as if they were about to swallow them whole.

And yeah, Frank’s bottles of pills still lined the bedside cabinet, and his (reclaimed) phone would light up early in the morning and last thing at night, reminding him to take them; there were days when all the life seemed to drain out of his eyes and for seemingly no reason at all, he wouldn’t want to sleep or eat or talk, or leave the house, leave their bed. But they could cope with that, they could survive that. Although Gerard couldn't stop the noise in Frank’s head, he knew how to make him feel better, at least until the horrible, dark feelings passed for another day or so. All in all, things were going pretty well. In amongst all the bad days, they still had the good days; days where they would laugh so much it hurt, days where they couldn’t take their hands off each other. And when Frank just couldn’t hide how sad he was, Gerard had to remind him that his best days in the hospital still would never be as good as his bad days here. He, however, didn’t have to remind himself. He knew he had done the right thing.

He also knew, however, that one of the reasons things had been going well was because he was constantly with Frank, constantly there to keep an eye on him and look after him when his mood dropped. He knew that he’d have to return to work soon and from then on, things would get harder. You see, he had taken a break for a week to focus on Frank, and had passed his patients on to another colleague. He only saw a few people once a week, and so he figured they’d be okay. But in the second week, and with a permanent job offer from the hospital, he realised he’d have to sell his office and pass his patients onto someone else. He wasn’t happy about selling up, and he was even less happy about fobbing the kids he saw off on someone else after they’d begun to trust him. However, he knew being there for Frank was more important. The kids needed him, but not in the way Frank needed him. Besides, it had come to a point where Frank was the most important thing in Gerard’s life right now; Gerard couldn’t see it being any other way anymore.

It was pretty hard for Gerard to believe that the hospital he’d worked at whilst Frank was there found him so helpful that they’d asked him to work for him full time. He couldn’t believe they wanted him, but at the same time, he was glad they did. He’d made some great friends there, and although he loved being his own boss, he was happy for the change. They’d offered him the job just before Frank had left and given him plenty of time to think about it. Within a week, he had accepted. They’d decided to give him another week to be there for Frank and to make arrangements. Gerard knew he couldn’t leave Frank on his own for the three hours he’d be working every day, but there was nowhere for him to go. Frank’s school year had graduated whilst he was in the unit, and there was no way he could go back and repeat the year. In the end, Gerard made arrangements for Frank to start online school to catch up so he could graduate, and go to the library every day for the lessons. That way he wouldn’t be left on his own. Fortunately for Gerard, the little old woman who worked there (who must have been about ninety five right now, yet was still managing to stock the shelves, stamp books and shush the kids who just wouldn't stop making noise) knew Gerard from his childhood and promised to make sure Frank came in every day and keep an eye on him. Gerard pitched the idea to Frank who grumbled a bit, complaining that he wasn’t a child and didn’t need a babysitter, but agreed when he saw Gerard’s puppy dog eyes. So that was it, Frank was sorted. Gerard spent the next week getting ready to leave for his more permanent job and making sure Frank was okay.

A week passed. By the time the day for Gerard to start work again came, Gerard was nervous; pacing up and down the hallway and drinking cup after cup of coffee, trying not to bite his nails. He wasn’t particularly bothered about starting back at the hospital after having two weeks off, not even when he knew his job would be different this time and he’d have more duties, more people to take care of. No, he was worried about Frank. He hated leaving him alone, especially so soon. He’d spent the past two weeks with him constantly and the thought of leaving him was one he’d tried to avoid over the past few days. However now there was no escaping it, nor no avoiding it. Frank had started online school but was doing it in the apartment until Gerard started work; but now Gerard was starting work again, Frank was going to have to start going to the library. Gerard had constantly been with Frank for the past two weeks; barely let him out of his sight for more than a few minutes, in fact. And for months before that, they had spent the best part of the day together. Gerard knew they’d only be apart for a few hours whilst be was working and Frank was studying, but the fact that they’d be apart, and Gerard couldn’t go where Frank was, kind of made him feel like this was Frank’s first day of school again.

Gerard dropped Frank off at the library with a kiss and a sandwich, now really feeling like he was starting school. Gerard’s first day at work passed quickly, without much event. Mostly he just passed the day being introduced to his new duties, with the thought of Frank forever in the back of his mind. Gerard picked Frank up after work, hoping Frank would have lots to tell him. However when he asked him about his day, Frank replied that it was boring, but fine and didn’t have much else to say. Gerard rolled his eyes fondly at Frank who was behaving like the typical teenager but Frank’s mood and chatter on the way home was enough to stop him worrying and convince himself that Frank would be okay without him for a few hours every day.

Frank continued going to school, Gerard continued to go to work. They existed in harmony, both relatively happy. Frank was still getting that horrible sinking feeling of depression in his stomach, and wishing that he could hide in bed forever, and seemed to be getting it more and more as the time went on, but continuing hiding it from the unassuming Gerard, wanting to suppress his feelings, knowing it was better than the alternative. Overall, they were getting on pretty well. Well, until things started to fall apart all over again…

Notes

My motivation to write this is like -1,000 right now; I'm so sorry!The fic just has a few chapters left so please comment, rate and subscribe! Thanks guys!