Disenchanted

A few hours later Gerard went home to collect some things for the night staying in the hospital. It was the end of July and the weather was amazing. Therefore, Gerard abandoned the thought of driving and walked the distance to his apartment on foot. As he walked he enjoyed the feeling of the sun on his back and wished Frank could be walking along with him. He longed for them to have a proper relationship and to be actually able to live together, really live. He wanted to wake up next to Frank and go to bed with him again the same day, kiss him despite his morning breath and make him coffee, cook him breakfast. He wanted to drive him to school and pick him up afterwards, have movie nights, curled up on the couch together, cuddling all night long. He wanted to cook him dinner and bring him on dates, do the boring mundane everyday things with him as well as all the fun stuff. He wanted to be with him constantly, love him totally and fully. With the situation they were in at the moment they were pretty limited, especially as no one but themselves and Mikey knew of their relationship. Mikey had been pretty angry with Gerard when he found out. Okay scratch that, he had been furious. He had confirmed all the doubts Gerard had had about their relationship, about how Frank was still so young and Gerard could get into serious trouble for being with him. Mikey also couldn’t grasp the idea that Gerard had actually left Lindsey for Frank. Not because he disliked Frank in anyway, hell how could he, he hadn’t even met him but because he had thought Gerard was happy with his fiancée, especially now that she was pregnant. As first Gerard wished he hadn’t told Mikey a thing, yet he was only uncomfortable with their conversation as Mikey was trying to tell him the cold hard truth and the truth most definitely hurts. Yet as they continued to talk, Gerard seemed to be able to make Mikey understand. Mikey could see how much Gerard truly loved Frank and after a week or so, he had accepted the relationship. Although Mikey had not met Frank yet, he could see how much he meant to his brother. He saw the change in him and it made him happy. It also made him realise how unhappy Gerard had been before. Mikey happily accepted Gerard’s invitation to meet Frank and planned on visiting him soon, wanting to meet the guy who had made his brother so happy without even trying.

Gerard reached his apartment in no time at all and quickly collected what he needed. He stuffed everything in a bag and downed a quick cup of coffee before once again heading out. He reached the hospital again pretty quickly, and dumped his bag in Frank’s room. He saw a little camp bed had been put in there for the night and he suddenly felt like he was back in high school, sleeping over at a friend’s house for the night. Gerard had been gone for less than an hour but straight away he noticed Frank’s mood had dropped. He found him in the common room, sitting hunched up on the sofa, and staring blankly at the tv which wasn’t even switched on. Gerard flopped down on the couch next to him, yet Frank stiffened and turned away when Gerard attempted to hold his hand. They ate dinner together that night at the table which had become Frank’s. He hadn’t made many friends at all it seemed, which made things even worse for him. A depressed and frequently angry teenager wasn’t a very attractive friend; it seemed, not even in a place like this. This meant Gerard was Frank’s entire support system. Normally Frank would rely on Gerard far too much, to the point where he seemed co-dependent on him. Yet when he got like this, he pushed the whole world away. Dinner was quiet as Gerard’s attempts at conversation were mostly ignored. Frank stared at his plate the entire time, scraping his food around his plate but never actually attempting to eat. Gerard watched Frank the entire time and not once did he see him actually take a mouthful of the lasagne being served. Gerard knew he needed to report Frank’s lack of eating, especially as he didn’t want him to revert back to his old habits, yet he didn’t have the heart to cause more trouble for the teen. He knew when Frank got like this he felt as though he didn’t deserve food and would deny himself it. Gerard knew he just needed to make Frank seem like he was worth something. However, despite his job he often felt like he wasn’t capable to help Frank as much as he could. It was probably because they were involved and he loved Frank so much. It made him second step all of his actions and doubt himself. He loved Frank so much that he was afraid of hurting him by doing the wrong thing and making everything so much worse.

By the time they crawled into bed that night Frank was quieter than ever and Gerard was even more worried. All his attempts to talk to Frank and comfort him had been rejected and Gerard now had no idea what to do. The lights went off as usual at eleven and they were left in the darkness. The unfamiliar surroundings and the uncomfortable camp bed made it hard for Gerard to fall asleep. He tossed and turned in the bed, listening as Frank’s breathing evened out and he fell asleep. Gerard must have fallen asleep at some point though as he was awoken with a start a few hours later to the sound of quiet sobs coming from Frank’s side of the room. Gerard reached for his phone and the blinding screen told him it was almost 1AM. Gerard lay in bed for a few seconds doubting what he should do. He knew Frank hated to be touched when he was like this. On the other hand, he thought the comfort might help him. After a few more seconds, Gerard told himself to man up and go comfort his boyfriend. He flung the covers off his body and padded over to Frank’s bed, the floor cold under his bare feet.

He flicked their bedside lamp on, and it illuminated the room, showing Frank’s shaking body. Gerard slid inside Frank’s bed and stroked the hair from Frank’s damp forehead, kissing his face and wiping his tears. Frank hesitated for a few seconds before he slid his arms around Gerard’s body and sobbed into his chest. Gerard held him tight, relieved he had accepted his comfort. After about ten minutes, Frank pulled away from Gerard’s chest and looked up at him, shaking his head softly as if he was trying to explain but didn’t know how to. Gerard picked up on this. “Just explain as best you can baby,” he whispered to him, attempting to smile encouragingly and hoping his worry didn’t come through. “I don’t know…I just…wasn’t sad but then I was, you know?” asked Frank. “Of course,” nodded Gerard. “And for no reason!” exclaimed Frank, sounding like a confused child. “It just happened, for no reason, I had no control over it,” Muttered Frank. “I don’t know how to feel better though, it’s like there’s something in my head, controlling me…Make it go away Gee,” begged Frank. “I’ll try, baby,” promised Gerard. “Lay back down, I’ll make you feel better. I’ll make it all go away.”

Gerard helped Frank lie back down and got on top of him, placing his hands on his hips and straddling him. He smiled down at Frank who looked up at him, smiling but exhausted from crying and being so emotionally drained. Gerard decided the best way to make Frank feel better was to help him forget for a little while; so he leant forward and cupped Frank’s face, kissing him softly. The kiss deepened quickly and soon they were kissing passionately, both making soft moans of pleasure. After a few minutes Gerard pulled back, causing Frank to make a noise of both confusion and need. He tried to pull Gerard back down to him but Gerard moved his hands away, smiling at him wickedly and pulling off his shirt. Frank quickly got the memo and took his own shirt off clumsily, trying to take it off as quickly as possible. Gerard reattached their mouths again and pressed their naked chests together. He pulled away once again and began to suck on Frank’s neck harshly leaving love bites and licking the column of Frank’s neck. He quickly found his sweet spot and sucked on it causing Frank to melt into him and moan loudly. Gerard laughed and pressed his finger to his lips, signalling for Frank to be quiet. Gerard began kissing Frank again and ran his hands up and down his body, causing Frank to shiver in excitement and anticipation. Gerard placed his hands on Frank’s pants and looked for Frank for permission. Frank nodded and Gerard slid them off and flung them to the side. He quickly shrugged his own off, leaving them both naked for the first time in their relationship. Their hearts hammered together; excited by what they were doing but terrified of being caught. Gerard traced his hands down Frank's side and began to stroke his length softly before kissing him, first on his lips, then making his way down to his neck, his chest, his hips. Gerard began softly biting the inside of Frank’s thighs which made him go crazy, withering in the bed. He spent a few seconds tracing his fingers over the raised, bumpy scars on Frank’s thighs and kissed them softly whilst Frank watched him. Gerard looked at him sadly and Frank brushed his fingers away softly. “It’s okay, Gee,” he murmured, smiling at him. Gerard nodded and kissed him again before breaking their lips apart. He looked up at Frank lovingly before moving down and taking him into his mouth.

He sucked on his head for a few minutes, letting the precum drip into his mouth, before taking more of him into his mouth and sucking. Gerard then grabbed Frank’s thighs and pulled him closer to him, swallowing him whole. Frank withered on the bed under him, bucking his hips and grabbing the bed sheets; twisting them under his hands whilst he tried not to moan too loudly, his throbbing dick filling Gerard’s mouth. Gerard grabbed Frank’s hips and continued sucking him, enjoying Frank’s reactions. This was the first time he had ever given a blowjob and he assumed it was the first time Frank had ever received one, yet from Frank’s excited moans, he didn’t seem to be doing too badly. Gerard’s head bobbed as he sucked off Frank, and Frank grabbed Gerard’s hair and tangled his hands in it, wanting to be as close to him as possible. Gerard moved down to Frank’s sensitive head and sucked on it, causing obscene moans from Frank. Frank lay panting under Gerard until he felt a familiar knot in his stomach. “Gerard,” he panted, his words disconnected from being so out of breath. “I’m gonna cum.” Gerard hummed happily in acknowledgement but didn’t move, keeping his lips on his boyfriend’s dick. After a few more seconds Frank couldn’t keep it in any longer and he came into Gerard mouth, moaning loudly. Gerard swallowed his boyfriend’s cum and stroked him softly, letting him ride out his orgasm. The sound of Frank’s moans underneath him sent Gerard over the edge and he stroked himself for a minute or so before cumming loudly in his own hand. Gerard collapsed on top of Frank, their hot and sticky bodies melting together. They kissed each other passionately, letting their hands stroke each other softly. Frank’s arms snaked around Gerard waist and pulled him closer. Gerard hummed contentedly, enjoying the feeling of closeness as their now sensitive bodies calmed down. They were both exhausted and so they held each other in their arms listening to each other breathe. After a while Gerard grabbed his phone and set an alarm for six, knowing the hospital started to wake up at around seven. Satisfied with the knowledge that they could not sleep together without getting caught, Gerard and Frank settled down to sleep; their naked bodies pressed together, their heartbeats racing simultaneously.

They woke up to the harsh sounds of the alarm clock that morning. They untangled their limbs from around one another and Gerard fumbled for his phone, grabbing it and pressing the dismiss button. They lay together in the darkness, in shock from being awaken, their hearts hammering. Gerard leaned into Frank’s body once again and hummed in contentment; as Frank stretched to wake himself up, his body going taunt as he moaned in contentment. As the room remained clothed in darkness and no running footsteps were heard as a result of the noise of the alarm, Frank and Gerard resolved that they were safe and snuggled into each for a few moments more. As the sun started to slowly rise outside the window and make its way across the floor of the room, the two decided it was finally time to get up. They got out of bed and sloped down the hallways to the communal shower room, holding hands and both stifling yawns, their movements slow with sleep. They started off in different showers but quickly merged into one, smiling into kisses as the scalding water ran over their bodies. Their kissing became passionate within seconds and before Gerard knew what he was doing, Frank was on his knees and taking Gerard’s length into his mouth.

“Wait Frank, you really don’t have to do this if you don’t- Oh my god,” Gerard moaned, whatever he was about to say being cut off when Frank grabbed his ass cheeks to bring him closer to him and took more of him into his mouth. “Oh my god, oh my god” he moaned repeatedly. “Fuck, Frank,” he whimpered, unable to believe how good this felt. Frank looked up at Gerard as he sucked, his eyes were innocent but he seemed to go grinning wickedly at Gerard and it made him go crazy. After a few more seconds Gerard felt that familiar knot in his stomach. “I’m gonna cum, Frankie,” he warned his boyfriend, moaning and out of breath, who only winked at him and continued sucking. Gerard came, moaning out Frank’s name. Frank swallowed the cum and licked his lips whilst stroking Gerard’s length, grinning at him wickedly. Spurred on by Gerard’s moans of pleasure, Frank came into his hand a few seconds later, moaning Gerard’s name himself. Gerard helped him back onto his feet and they kissed happily under the fall of the water.

After that it seemed they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They held hands under the breakfast table, kissed in Frank’s bed whilst the cameras were still broken and spent a few hours in Gerard’s office with Frank straddling Gerard, kissing passionately; all thoughts of counselling forgotten at least for the moment. Their hearts were beating with excitement of what they were doing, mixed with fear of being caught and ripped apart. However by the late afternoon Gerard noticed Frank was getting restless, his bad mood returning slowly but surely. He paced the small office as Gerard watched curiously. After a few minutes of pacing he stopped at the window and stared out of it longingly, placing his hand on the glass in a total Rose/The Tenth Doctor moment. “Can we go outside?” he begged. “Of course,” smiled Gerard, wanting to make Frank as happy as possible. Frank smiled back and pecked him on the cheek as a thank you, then raced out of the door, waiting for Gerard to follow. Gerard laughed and followed his childish and eager boyfriend. Gerard swiped them out using his card and within a few minutes, Frank was laying on his back, staring up into the sky and running his fingers along the grass. Gerard watched him nearby, with his legs crossed absentmindedly picking at random blades of grass. It was quiet for a few minutes before Frank spoke again. “I want to leave.”

“What?” Questioned Gerard. “You can’t, at least not yet.” Frank sighed. “I know, but I want to, I really do. I can’t stand it in here any longer, I hate it; you know I do.” Gerard sighed, wanting to avoid an argument with Frank and crawled over to him, moving so Frank’s head was on his lap. “I know you do,” he replied, stroking Frank’s hair out of his face. “Do you think I’ll be allowed to leave for September?” he asked hopefully. “You know, for school?” Gerard sighed, knowing he wouldn’t but not wanting to make Frank’s mood any worse. Frank had been in his senior year, but had obviously ended up missing the last few months of school. He was eager to go back to repeat the year and graduate but Gerard knew he wouldn’t get to leave the hospital for a few more months at least and would have to wait until next September. “Not yet, sweetie,” he replied sadly. “Oh,” murmured Frank sadly, the disappointment evident on his face. “Is there any way I could leave somehow?” he asked, looking up at Gerard. “Even for like, just a day?” Gerard squirmed slightly because there was and he knew it, he just didn’t want to say. People were often allowed day visits or weekend visits out to see their families but only if they were doing well. If he was being honest he didn’t think Frank was doing that well and he didn’t want him to be motivated to get better because of this; it wouldn’t be the right reason. On the other hand, he wanted him out in the real world with him too, even if it was just for a day. It’d be like a little glimpse of their future together, something Frank could work towards. He wanted him to be with him for one whole day with no interruptions; just them together totally and fully, a little glimpse of how things could be.

“There are like…day visits. You’ve been here for a few months so you’re probably eligible for one. I could ask?” Gerard asked. Frank nodded excitedly. “Yes, yes, please do!” he exclaimed. “I want to get out of here so bad!” he said excitedly like a child, causing Gerard to laugh. "Most people spend the visit with their family, but obviously you'd have to spend it with me...Would that be okay?" Frank grabbed Gerard’s tie and pulled him down to him, pulling him into a kiss. “Do you even have to ask?" he laughed. "I love you,” Gerard said, smiling down at him. “I love you too Gerard,” smiled Frank and clasped their hands together, squeezing them tightly and dreaming of the day he could leave and be with Gerard properly.

Notes

This was my first time ever writing something like this and I'm so embarrassed, help. Hope this was okay though. *blushes and hides*

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