You're someone you're not

Casual. Think casual. I've repeated it in my head a million times like a mantra over and over again for hours. I was sitting on the floor surrounded by black clothes. I've been on dates before but usually I'm the one who sets them up and knows what's going to happen. Now Frank's in charge. But honestly when is he not?
I heard a knock on my door. I mummbled a come in. It was Mikey staring wide eyed at the mess I'd created.
"Bro you need to chill out it's just Frank" Apparently while I've been off in lovey land Frank and Mikey were hanging out like Bros or whatever and are now good friends. Mikey probaby knows what's going to happen tonight. Great my brother most likely knows more about my love life than I do.
"Mikey you don't understand it's our first date and I want to look nice Frank said casual and I know nothing about fashion and I want to look nice casual but not look like I'm trying to hard. And it's all a mess" I groaned collasping into the floor for about the tenth time today. Mikey just rolled his eyes at me.
"I'm serious" I shot Mikey a deadly look. He laughed.
"Yeah that's what makes it funny" Mikey sat down and started looking at the shirt pile.
"I'm glad my agony entertains you," I grumbled sitting up.
"Yes it does. Here just wear this," Mikey tossed me my old fahreheit 451 shirt a leather jacket and plain black jeans. I looked at the pile of clothes in front of me and wondered how I didn't think of the combination before my brother picked it up. I'd had been here for literally hours. Well maybe not hours but at least an hour.
"Thank you" I breathed half grateful and half pissed that my brother has better fashion sense than I do.
"Yeah sure whatever now will you stop throwing a pity party I can feel it through the walls and it' messing with my vibe," Mikey said as he walked out of my room. I rolled my eyes at my sassy little brother. Hmm I wonder where he gets that from...
I picked up my phone and sent Frank a text again. This is what happens when I get nervous I get clingy.
Me: Can't wait

Frank: Me neither

Frank: Or me either

Frank: I never understood that

Me: You're a dork

Frank: Yes but I'm your dork

Me: Stop being cliche

Frank: Stop calling me names

Me: U G H

Me: I can't wait to see you

Frank: *cough* clingy *cough*

Me: I'm sorry I didn't mean to be

Frank: I was joking babe

Me: Ok I gotta take a shower

Frank: Can I come ;)

Me: No go away, you poop

Frank: Can't wait

Me: GO AWAY

Frank: Mkay
I smled as I walked into my bathroom. My short coversation with Frank calmed my nerves tremendously but the was still a sort of tickle in the back of my mine. Maybe it's a joke? Or a dream? Maybe he's just using me? He might be a really good liar...
But I scrubbed all those thoughts away and tried to focus on Frank's words and the image of his smile that has been ingained in my memory.
After I washed my hair and body a few times I just sat under the jet stream letting the warm water flow over me. It was nice after a stressful week. On top of everything that's happening with Frank and the media and the government and what not I still have mikey and my ma and my absent father to stress over. Plus I'm a senior and I've been applying to colleges or looking at colleges to aply to all of the aplications are still sitting in my desk not a single word other than my name written on them.
"RISE ABOVE WE'RE GONNA RISE ABOVE THEY CAN'T TELL US WHAT TO DO RISE-"
I jumped out of the shower leaving it running and nearly slipping and dying on the slick bathroom floor. Ok so maybe I am a little bit melodramatic. I grabbed my phone off the counter top and answered it quickly dripping water everywhere.
"Hello?" I asked even though I knew it was Frank. He was the only one that has that ring tone on my phone.
"Why aren't you singing? Wait were you still in the shower?" Frank laughed.
"Yeah," I reached over and turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Frank laughed through the phone.
"Sorry. I just wanted to tell you to wear comfortable shoes. I don't know if I said that before."
I groaned.
"What?" Frank's tone sounded sharp, nervous. AW.
"I just really really want to know what we are doing" I whined like a child.
"Oh. Yeah no. You'll know in like an hour" Frank sounded relieved laughing a little but before I could respond he hung up.
"Ugh"
I got dressed and messed around with my hair for a little bit then just sat around. An hour passed rather quickly to my surprise. I was zoning out when our beeper thingy buzzed. Due to that fact Mikey got there first.
"Hey Frank!" Mikey said cheerfulily grinning at me. I'm going to kill him.
"Hi Mikey" Frank said sounding confused, "Your brother around?"
"No I don't think so.." Mikey thought he was being clever I just walked out the door.
I opened the gate to see Frank looking mildly upset standing next to the larger down stairs communicator. I've lived here for over a month I really need to learn what those things are
called. Frank stepped away from the box looking at me slightly wide eyed.
"Mikey said you were-"
"Mikey's full of shit" I smiled at Frank feeling unbelievably nervous and self conscious.
"You look fucking hot" Frank said matter-a-factly. I ducked my head. Ok what's up Frank has seen me naked and now I'm suddenly super self conscious.
"Look who's talking" I replied staring at him because damn. Frank was wearing ripped up black jeans like he had when I first met him and a plain dark gray shirt with the sleeves cuffed up a bit. I also noticed a small black star right below his elbow. I can't believe I hadn't seen it before.
"You have a tattoo?!" I said eyebrows raised. It came out more like don't-you-know-that's-going-to-look-bad-when-you're-older-what-a-bad-idea than oh-wow-cool-dude. I groaned internally already offending my date. Frank just laughed.
"Yeah I mean I've had it since before I met you didn't see it before?" Frank laughed more throwing his head back and looking at me his lip ring shimmering under the lamp post light.
"You are usaully wearing long sleeves" I shrugged.
"And when I'm not?" Frank looked suggestively at me. Stopppp I can't take this.
"I was-um more focused on other things.." I rubbed the back of my neck. I feel like a child. Even though I'm two years older than him, Frank is way more sexually mature than me. Frank shrugged agreeing. I looked back at the tattoo. Just a plain black star.
"It's kinda shit" I noted. Frank looked down at his arm.
"Yeah I know they ripped me a new one when I got it though. I want more, like a lot more"
"How old were you when you got it?" I said following Frank to where he parked his car.
"Two days before my fifteenth birthday"
"Jesus," I whistled.
The conversation faded out leaving me and Frank standing in silence next to his car. I slowly leaned in to kiss. He unexpectedly moved away. I felt like a piano had just dropped from the second story and landed directly on my heart.
"I can't kiss you we have to get going and if I do I won't be able to stop. We can kiss afterward. If you have the energy. Oh!" Frank looked like he remebered something reaching into his pocket and pulling out a blindfold. I'm so confused. "Here put this on"
He handed me the plain black cloth. I just sorta looked at it then back up at him.
"Is this some kinda 50 shades of grey kinky shit thing?" I asked. Frank laughed so hard.
"No! Unless you're into that. I just wanted it to be a surprise," He walked over to the drivers seat and got in I did the same and tied the blindfold over my eyes obetiently. I hate surprizes.
We drove for a bit making random conversation until the car sputtered to a stop.
"Ok take it off"
The first thing I saw was Frank's grinning face I smiled at him. Then I looked out the window in front of us. Just a regular street then I saw a line of people I followed the line with my eyes until I noticed the club next to me. In thick black block letters spelled out SMASHING PUMPKINS. I gasped.
"You didn't!" I sounded slightly like a tween girl about to see justin bieber or something.
"Oh I did" Frank grinned at me.

Notes

so last chapter in the notes i was like hey you guys like hesitant alien or stomachaches more.

so i'm here to say i like stomachaches more man. I dont know what it is about hesitant alien but I can never get through it. (please dont kill me) coming from the more punk side of things I actually love stomachaches i bought it on cd vinyl and digital. I was listening to joyriding when it was just a demo on youtube and nobody knew about an album. anyways yeah. also if you havent listened to it or you just listened to the songs that have music videos i advise checking out 'tragician' and 'guiltripping'.

also if you like hesitant alien more or you wanna recommend some good songs on the album to me just please comment that would be great i love hear yalls opinions and just random shit

k bye