Never Coming Home

Gerard’s POV
I tear open the letter before I can take another breath.
My Dear Gerard,
I fear I don’t have much time left. I have a confession that I am positive I wouldn’t be able to tell you face to face. So, whether I make it or not, you’ll know what I’ve been meaning to tell you for the last 11 years. 11 years ago, on May 9th, I gave birth to our child, Alice Way (I chose your surname instead of mine). We weren’t. That’s why I left you for that year. I lied when I told you I was visiting some friends. I actually found out I was pregnant a few days after the best day of my life with you.
With all of the stress that you were facing when I found out, I couldn’t tell you. We didn’t have the money for a child. We weren’t prepared. So I trusted Jacqueline to look after her when she moved to Germany. But when the war started, I knew the mistake I made of not keeping her here with me.
I cannot even begin to express my sorrow for keeping it all a secret. I know I should’ve told you, now, hopefully you’ll find out either way.
-Clara
I guess now it would be reasonable for a tear to roll down my cheek and fall onto the letter, making the words it lands on drip down a bit. But no tears fall. I’m not sad, I’m not happy, I’m not really anything. It’s all so much weight on my shoulders that I think I’ve forgotten to feel. I don’t think I even want to. I’m done with everything right now. I just need a break.
*************
I inhale the fresh air like I’ve been holding my breath for years, leaning on the walker I’ve been given to temporarily use. It’s been a few weeks since I was admitted to the hospital now, and I’ve missed the outdoors so much. I haven’t been outside for ages. It’s so peaceful here in the hospital’s garden. I haven’t been in peace for a long time, either.
The sky is so blue, that it didn’t even seem blue. I watched each blade of grass move in the gentle breeze. The sun shone rays in the corner of my vision, and I take a seat on the old wooden bench next to Susan.
“Thank you for keeping everything a secret.” I say, looking at the bruises on her neck. I feel so bad for what I did. I wasn’t even me. But she kept it a secret. I apologized, of course. I wasn’t me when I did what I did. If she told someone, they probably would’ve assigned Frank and I a new nurse for her well-being. But I’ve grown a bond with Susan. And it would’ve been tragic to have to switch.
As the words leave my mouth, she turns to me from her book. “It’s all right, Gerard. You didn’t mean it.”
I nod, looking at her. I never realized how beautiful she was. She has large, chestnut eyes. Her dark brown hair curled up at the ends, blowing in the breeze slightly. She must have noticed me looking at her, because she turns away from her book again. “Can I help you with something?” she says in her soft, musical voice.
I wait a second before responding. “Nothing. You’re just…really pretty.”
She chuckles and blushes, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Thank you.”
I smile at her and look back up at the large oak tree shading us. “Susan, I decided something.”
“What’s that?”
“Once I can leave, I’m going to find Alice. My daughter.”
She tilts her head. “How?”
“I don’t know, that’s the problem. She’s all the way in Germany. And in times like this, you know how bad things are getting over there.”
Her expression drops a bit. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I will, though. And…” I get up, walking over to the oak tree, placing my hand on the soft bark. “I swear on this tree, that I will find Alice Way.”
She smiles at me and giggles, walking up over to me. “Well, Mr Way, I wish you the best of luck.” She says.
I don’t know what it is about that moment, it just seemed so right. The breeze blew her hair out her face, and the sun was shining on her so radiantly. No moment would be better, and she knows it. We both lean in at the exact same moment, pressing our lips together. Her lips were so soft, like velvet. And I swear the sun was shining just for us that day, and nobody else.
When we pull away, our eyes meet, and it is the most beautiful moment in my life. I don’t even think about anything else but how beautiful her eyes are. But then I do remember something. She must’ve noticed my expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“No…nothing.” I say. “It’s just…that’s the first time I’ve kissed anyone for a year…since Clara died.”

Notes

Hope you guys enjoy. ^_^