Never Coming Home

Gerard's POV

And now...we're back home. I was forced to leave Alice behind by Frank.
Unfortunately, nobody's on my side in this. They agree with Susan. Is this really what they've felt the entire time? Am I really that much of a droner? I can't believe I haven't caught on.
I'm done. Officially. I'm done with all of this shxt that's been going on. I can't take it anymore.
Susan's back at work, and Luce's being her company. Frank is off with Ray, the traitor. So I'm stuck here by myself. Home alone, again. Probably not the best idea.
Every crevice is empty. Even if I just found a mouse lurking in a corner I would feel better. I need to be near life, because all I can think about is death. Everyone's death. Call me a psychopath, but it's harder to deal with than it's made out to be. Now I don't even have my friends to support me.
I have a load of pain and suffering on my shoulders, and I haven't brought it up ever since Susan blasted at me. I want to talk to someone about it so badly. Someone that can relate, so we can share comfort. But now I have it locked up with a chain, wanting to break it out more and more every day. I want to be able to talk about it. Every day the thought grows inside of me. Why didn't I save her? The guilt is becoming worse by the second, but I keep it constrained in.
I have nothing now. Nothing. No support, no help, no reason....
No reason. No reason for anything anymore. No reason to try. No reason to think. No reason to breathe.
I'm finished.
I stand up, walking over to the bathroom. Going inside, I open the cabinet door and take out a container of tablets. I am afraid to keep on living, now. I am afraid of what's to come. I have to release myself from everything that's become. Who knew so many emotions could pile over you in a few weeks?
But if someone were to see me, they'd never know. I keep all of my thoughts on the inside, and never let them escape. And now it's come to this. I take out the tablets and look at them, one at a time. I can do it painlessly. Let it all be over. Nobody will care. They did, once. But that's all changed.
I hear the front door open. Shxt, I have to hurry. I take one of the pills to my mouth, ready to swallow each of them. And that's when I hear a creak of the bathroom door open.
"Fxck, Gerard!" a voice shouts in a panic. And before I can do anything, my arms are grabbed from behind me with a strong grip.
"Gerard, please don't do this!"
It's Ray. Shxt. I try to kick him from behind, but he dodges.
"GERARD, PLEASE." I don't say a word in the struggle. I need to end it. I need to. There aren't any other options. But before I know it, my hands are dropped, and I reach for the pills. but then there's a sharp pain in my head, and everything goes black.

Notes

Again, not that many chapters left. But whoever voted, THANK YOU SO MUCH ^_^ I now have a score over 6, and it really means a lot to me :) I hope you guys enjoy, and as always, happy reading ^_^