Sometimes I Wish I Could Disappear
Here in my room
I don’t understand why he takes a liking in me, but I don’t mind. He’s really nice and sweet, very considerate. I like that about him, he puts others before himself. I was pretty out of it, but who knows. Both of us just hung onto each other like it was our last. I began to get drowsy and putting all my weight onto him. I panicked and quickly got off of him. He threw me a puzzled look. I was putting my weight onto him and I got scared that I might squish him, he’s a pretty small guy.
“Its okay, you weren’t heavy, well not like Brian,” he says, noticing why I reacted the way I did. He’s just, I cant explain it. How does he always seem to know?
“Uh…sorry,” is all I say and he smiles really big. “Come back to my place,” he says and lifted my eyebrows. I was pretty confused, we were both tired and he wants me at his place? For what?
“Its pretty damn late,” I respond. He laughs and shakes his head. “I want you over,” he admits and I felt my stomach do a somersault. “I guess,” I reply. He smiles even bigger, “Slumber party!” he shouts and grabs my hand, running off into the distance of his home.
Ignore that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I haven’t drank hot chocolate in like forever. The warmth running down my throat with that chocolately taste is so mmm….mmm…mmm…toasty. “Thanks for this,” I tell Frank as he drinks his own hot chocolate. “So how you feeling now?” he asks me. I had a headache for a while but it finally went away as soon as I got something in my system. “Actually pretty good right now,” I answer and he smiles. He looks down into his cup and drinks it. I watch him closely and notice everything he does is so darn adorable. From looking into his cup to placing it between his lips. I want to be between his lips.
Woah! Zacky Baker what is your problemo? Dirty thoughts about a man that I want really bad, who probably doesn’t want me really bad…
“Zack!” I look up and see a wide eyed Frank looking at me. “Are you okay?” he asks me. I furrow my eyebrows, “I called your name like a million times and you were out of it man,” he says. “Sorry sorry, just…just thinking,” I answer. He nods his head and eyed me. I kept my gaze on my shoes, suddenly becoming the most fascinating thing ever. “Are you sure?” he asks again, this time standing up and walking towards me. I felt goosebumps raise on my body because I was becoming nervous with his presence coming to me. “I’m fine Frankie, seriously,” I answer with a smile on my face. I was more than okay, I was nervous and afraid for some reason. He sat down next to me, making the couch sink in a little more. He looks at me and I take a really quick glance and turn away with a smile. “Yes?’ I ask and he giggles. “Your so adorable,” he says and I felt my face flush. No one has ever said that to me. Normally it’s the other way around. I thought he was adorable. Now he thinks I’m adorable! Me Zachary Baker…Frank Iero thinks I’m adorable.
“I could say the same to you,” I admit and look down at my lap and my face just felt like flushing harshly. I smile and I could sense the grin on his face. “Why so embarrassed Zack?” he asks boldly. I quickly look up at him with his huge hazel eyes boring back at me. He was smiling awaiting for my answer.
“About…about what?” I stuttered. Nice one you doofus! I mentally slapped myself and quickly looked away from him. “About telling me I’m adorable, you turned red, like your hair,” he added. I chuckle at his statement. “I never told a guy that he was adorable,” I admit. He nods his head and smiles. “I’m the first guy?” he asks. I nod and he smiles even wider.
We stared at each other smiling. We kept staring for a beat too long and the next thing I knew Franks lips were upon mine.
I gasp and stared wide eyed at him as his were closed. He was trying to sync our lips together, but I was too frozen in shock? Scared? Happy? That I didn’t even bother kissing him back. He quickly backed away from me and I sat there frozen still, my mouth gaping.
“I am so sorry,” he says with so much concern and he sounded like he felt bad. That made me feel bad because he was scared that I didn’t want him. “No…I…I,” I didn’t know what to say. I quickly stood up, “I’ll go home now, I’m sorry,” I rush out of his home without even saying bye. I walked down the dark streets lost in my own head, that I didn’t even notice the group of guys following me.
“Hey pretty boy!” someone shouts. I ignore and didn’t even acknowledge someone even shouted at me.
Then after like a few seconds, I felt a hand grip on my shoulder and shove me into an alley.
“Whoa! What the fuck?!” I shout and a gloved hand clamped onto my mouth. “Shut up!” the man hissed at me. I was shaking pretty bad, but also in a happy way. I don’t know how to explain this feeling.
“Got any bank?’ he asks me. I chuckled and he instantly punched me. I groan in pain, “No I’m broke dude what the fuck!” I shout at him again. “What did I do to you?” I ask him out loud. “You’re a faggot and I know it!” another guy hissed somewhere behind him. “So?” I intimidate. “We don’t like faggots,” they state. “Well I hate homophobes,” I say and punched the guy in front of me pretty angrily. He stumbled back and I saw it as my chance to run. I may not be the most athletic, but when I’m scared, I’m like Barry Allen ‘The Incredible Flash!’
I book it down the street and I hear them shouting and running after me. I see my apartment building come into view, so I slip into the alley behind and go the back way to my apartment.
I come towards the back door and quickly open it. I step inside and shut it swiftly. I breath heavily and lean against the door trying to catch my breath. I hear them outside and run past the door.
I chuckle and start making my way towards my room. Aching and all, I manage to make it up the stairs and unlock the door without having any trouble. I instantly crash on the couch and close my eyes.
Sleep finally rushing at me….
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up with the biggest headache in history of my drunken life. “oooohh…fuck,” I groan and roll and fall off the couch. I felt a strong pain surge through my head and I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled my hands on my temple. “God help me,” I whine and slowly stood up to go to my room. After like an hour or so I finally make it to my bed and knock out once again.
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
‘Like a moon, we borrow a light, I am nothing but a shadow in the night, if you let me, I will look and try to let you bury the mess each time..’ as Hayley William’s voice sounds off in my room. I lazily awake with a headache still, but not as bad as before. I reach for my phone and try to read the caller ID. My squinty eyes were blurry, so I reach for my glasses and quickly put them on. The phone kept ringing and I stopped to read the caller ID again. Matt.
“What?” I say annoyed.
“Well someone has a great morning,” his raspy voice tells me. I groan and I hear his laughing.
“Dude I was going to ask you if you wanted to come over, but obviously you arent in a great mood, so never mind Zee,” he says and I groan in reply.
“Love you,” he says and I respond with another groan.
“Love you to Matt,” he imitates my voice. I roll my eyes and we hang up. I lay my head back down and close my eyes.
Suddenly my door has loud rapping or banging noises. I wait to see if I’m hearing things. The banging comes again. I groan and quickly stood up almost falling down, my head feels dizzy and I stretch out my hands to keep steady. “Whoa,” I slowly walk toward the door, not caring how I look.
My hand grasps the doorknob and I open the door. My eyes widen as I see a bloodshot eyed Frank standing there.
“Zack I’m sorry , I didn’t mean to kiss you,” he apologizes very boldly. I stood there in total shock still.
“Frank I…” I’m at lost for words again.
“Its okay no need for words, you obviously don’t like me like that,” he then smiles a little and walks away.
I panic and call out his name. “Frank!” I shout and he quickly turns around.
“I…I wanted you to,” I tell him. He stood there his mouth now gaping at me.
“You did?” he asks.
“Its okay, you weren’t heavy, well not like Brian,” he says, noticing why I reacted the way I did. He’s just, I cant explain it. How does he always seem to know?
“Uh…sorry,” is all I say and he smiles really big. “Come back to my place,” he says and lifted my eyebrows. I was pretty confused, we were both tired and he wants me at his place? For what?
“Its pretty damn late,” I respond. He laughs and shakes his head. “I want you over,” he admits and I felt my stomach do a somersault. “I guess,” I reply. He smiles even bigger, “Slumber party!” he shouts and grabs my hand, running off into the distance of his home.
Ignore that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I haven’t drank hot chocolate in like forever. The warmth running down my throat with that chocolately taste is so mmm….mmm…mmm…toasty. “Thanks for this,” I tell Frank as he drinks his own hot chocolate. “So how you feeling now?” he asks me. I had a headache for a while but it finally went away as soon as I got something in my system. “Actually pretty good right now,” I answer and he smiles. He looks down into his cup and drinks it. I watch him closely and notice everything he does is so darn adorable. From looking into his cup to placing it between his lips. I want to be between his lips.
Woah! Zacky Baker what is your problemo? Dirty thoughts about a man that I want really bad, who probably doesn’t want me really bad…
“Zack!” I look up and see a wide eyed Frank looking at me. “Are you okay?” he asks me. I furrow my eyebrows, “I called your name like a million times and you were out of it man,” he says. “Sorry sorry, just…just thinking,” I answer. He nods his head and eyed me. I kept my gaze on my shoes, suddenly becoming the most fascinating thing ever. “Are you sure?” he asks again, this time standing up and walking towards me. I felt goosebumps raise on my body because I was becoming nervous with his presence coming to me. “I’m fine Frankie, seriously,” I answer with a smile on my face. I was more than okay, I was nervous and afraid for some reason. He sat down next to me, making the couch sink in a little more. He looks at me and I take a really quick glance and turn away with a smile. “Yes?’ I ask and he giggles. “Your so adorable,” he says and I felt my face flush. No one has ever said that to me. Normally it’s the other way around. I thought he was adorable. Now he thinks I’m adorable! Me Zachary Baker…Frank Iero thinks I’m adorable.
“I could say the same to you,” I admit and look down at my lap and my face just felt like flushing harshly. I smile and I could sense the grin on his face. “Why so embarrassed Zack?” he asks boldly. I quickly look up at him with his huge hazel eyes boring back at me. He was smiling awaiting for my answer.
“About…about what?” I stuttered. Nice one you doofus! I mentally slapped myself and quickly looked away from him. “About telling me I’m adorable, you turned red, like your hair,” he added. I chuckle at his statement. “I never told a guy that he was adorable,” I admit. He nods his head and smiles. “I’m the first guy?” he asks. I nod and he smiles even wider.
We stared at each other smiling. We kept staring for a beat too long and the next thing I knew Franks lips were upon mine.
I gasp and stared wide eyed at him as his were closed. He was trying to sync our lips together, but I was too frozen in shock? Scared? Happy? That I didn’t even bother kissing him back. He quickly backed away from me and I sat there frozen still, my mouth gaping.
“I am so sorry,” he says with so much concern and he sounded like he felt bad. That made me feel bad because he was scared that I didn’t want him. “No…I…I,” I didn’t know what to say. I quickly stood up, “I’ll go home now, I’m sorry,” I rush out of his home without even saying bye. I walked down the dark streets lost in my own head, that I didn’t even notice the group of guys following me.
“Hey pretty boy!” someone shouts. I ignore and didn’t even acknowledge someone even shouted at me.
Then after like a few seconds, I felt a hand grip on my shoulder and shove me into an alley.
“Whoa! What the fuck?!” I shout and a gloved hand clamped onto my mouth. “Shut up!” the man hissed at me. I was shaking pretty bad, but also in a happy way. I don’t know how to explain this feeling.
“Got any bank?’ he asks me. I chuckled and he instantly punched me. I groan in pain, “No I’m broke dude what the fuck!” I shout at him again. “What did I do to you?” I ask him out loud. “You’re a faggot and I know it!” another guy hissed somewhere behind him. “So?” I intimidate. “We don’t like faggots,” they state. “Well I hate homophobes,” I say and punched the guy in front of me pretty angrily. He stumbled back and I saw it as my chance to run. I may not be the most athletic, but when I’m scared, I’m like Barry Allen ‘The Incredible Flash!’
I book it down the street and I hear them shouting and running after me. I see my apartment building come into view, so I slip into the alley behind and go the back way to my apartment.
I come towards the back door and quickly open it. I step inside and shut it swiftly. I breath heavily and lean against the door trying to catch my breath. I hear them outside and run past the door.
I chuckle and start making my way towards my room. Aching and all, I manage to make it up the stairs and unlock the door without having any trouble. I instantly crash on the couch and close my eyes.
Sleep finally rushing at me….
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up with the biggest headache in history of my drunken life. “oooohh…fuck,” I groan and roll and fall off the couch. I felt a strong pain surge through my head and I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled my hands on my temple. “God help me,” I whine and slowly stood up to go to my room. After like an hour or so I finally make it to my bed and knock out once again.
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
‘Like a moon, we borrow a light, I am nothing but a shadow in the night, if you let me, I will look and try to let you bury the mess each time..’ as Hayley William’s voice sounds off in my room. I lazily awake with a headache still, but not as bad as before. I reach for my phone and try to read the caller ID. My squinty eyes were blurry, so I reach for my glasses and quickly put them on. The phone kept ringing and I stopped to read the caller ID again. Matt.
“What?” I say annoyed.
“Well someone has a great morning,” his raspy voice tells me. I groan and I hear his laughing.
“Dude I was going to ask you if you wanted to come over, but obviously you arent in a great mood, so never mind Zee,” he says and I groan in reply.
“Love you,” he says and I respond with another groan.
“Love you to Matt,” he imitates my voice. I roll my eyes and we hang up. I lay my head back down and close my eyes.
Suddenly my door has loud rapping or banging noises. I wait to see if I’m hearing things. The banging comes again. I groan and quickly stood up almost falling down, my head feels dizzy and I stretch out my hands to keep steady. “Whoa,” I slowly walk toward the door, not caring how I look.
My hand grasps the doorknob and I open the door. My eyes widen as I see a bloodshot eyed Frank standing there.
“Zack I’m sorry , I didn’t mean to kiss you,” he apologizes very boldly. I stood there in total shock still.
“Frank I…” I’m at lost for words again.
“Its okay no need for words, you obviously don’t like me like that,” he then smiles a little and walks away.
I panic and call out his name. “Frank!” I shout and he quickly turns around.
“I…I wanted you to,” I tell him. He stood there his mouth now gaping at me.
“You did?” he asks.
Notes
i'm sorry i'm late still have more testing and homework to doi appreciate the comments
ILOVEYOU!!
-Zee
THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST COMMENTOR FUCK YES!
I LOVE YOU!
3/26/13