The only Hope

Hope’s pov:

Wow… He had really opened up. He was even crying.

I put my hand on his knee. I guess it was sort of a thank you for sharing the story with me.

“Why!?” He suddenly yelled.

“Why wasn’t I on time? Why didn’t I shoot!?” He was really sobbing right now.

“Gerard, it’s not your fault! Korse is a sick, sick man. It was all part of his plan!” I know I sounded heartless but it was the truth.

“No! We could’ve saved her! I just know it!”

“Gerard! Listen to me, what you’ve seen is horrible, I get that… But that was not, and I repeat: NOT your fault. Korse is the devil himself. I know him, his soullessness, his sickness. Only a person who is sick in the mind could do those things to your mother, to me and to so many other people.”

I had his attention. “But… No! I just know me and Mikey could’ve…”

I got up and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged back. He remained silent, we both did. It felt good. I felt his unsteady, warm breath on my neck.

“It’s not your fault and you know it.” I said calmly. He still didn’t say a word.

I moved away from him again and sat back on the bed. “Thank you for sharing that with me.” Now my eyes were filled with tears. Could you imagine losing someone so dear to you?

“Not my favorite subject, but you… Kinda had the right to know.” He faked a smile and wiped the tears from his face.

I looked at the ground. “So… Is that why you hold a grudge against me? Because of what happened to your mom?”

He sighed. “Not exactly. The point is… The fear in your eyes when we found you reminded me of my mom. So instantly, I thought it was my job to take care of you, to protect you. I didn’t want… things… to happen all over again. But you wouldn’t let me. Everything I did wasn’t good enough or you thought you could do it yourself. You are so stubborn sometimes!”

Gerard was getting angry again. “You are not grateful at all! All the things I’ve… We’ve done for you, were to keep you safe! And what do you do? Act like you don’t give a shit! You should be glad you are here and you didn’t end up like her! There were times I really wished you caught that bullet instead of my MOM!”

He had yelled at me. No one had ever yelled at me that way before. Not even Korse. My whole body was trembling because of his words and I started crying. I knew it, he still wished me dead. He didn’t want me here.

“But that’s in the past because now I’m afraid I’ll get too attached to you.” He said softly.

“What?” My voice was hoarse.

“Yes, I held a grudge, but not anymore. The reason I’m avoiding you now, is that I don’t want to get too attached to you. I know you’ll leave someday and believe me, I’m not looking forward to that.”

“So you do want me here?” My body was still shivering.

“Hope, ever since you arrived here Frank has been in a great mood. Hell, Mikey even smiles! Ray is also really fond of you, especially of your cooking. You are intelligent, caring and you even clean!” I smiled. “But I know one day that will all end.” He frowned. “So… I keep my distance.”

“So, those are the two reasons why you act like you don’t care about me. Because I was ungrateful and because you know in the back of your head know I will leave?”

“I know it sounds stupid, but believe me… You’re being more appreciative now, so don’t worry about the first. The second reason is a problem of my own.” He looked at the ground.

“You’re not even sure I’m going to leave.” I said with a high pitched voice.

He smirked. “Yes I am, because you remind me of myself when I was younger. I was also very stubborn and I didn’t want to put my mom in danger, so I left. You know Korse will come for you, so you will run away eventually, because you don’t want him to find us. You don’t want to put us in danger.”

He was right. I hadn’t spoken to him at all the past week and he still manages to look right through me. I lowered my head.

“Thought so…” He sighed.

I decided to change the subject. “How did you meet Ray and Frank anyway?”

He laughed. “Okay, now this is a fun story.”

We talked all night. I found out more things about him and the rest of the group. Oh and how they met? Frank and Ray were disguised as Dracs, so Gerard and Mikey almost killed them. After that, they became best friends, which lasted.

Gerard even told me about his grandmother, Helena, and about all the things she had done for him, all the things he had learned from her.

We laughed, cried, sat in silence and stared at each other sometimes. He even ate some food!

Suddenly we heard a knock on the door. “Guys, we’re going to bed. Gerard, it’s your turn to be on the lookout.” It was Frank.

“Yeah I know, I’m coming. Sorry, have to go. You get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah…” I sighed. I wished we could talk forever. I loved hearing his voice, his stories, his laugh…

Anyway, I walked out of the room, waving at him, and crawled into my own bed.

This was nice. Tonight I had gotten prove that Gerard actually cares and that we can have a proper conversation. I smiled as I fell asleep.

Notes