The only Hope

Hope’s pov:

“Well, I’ll be leaving then.” I made my way through the kitchen and towards the stairs.

“If I’m just a bother to you and you don’t want Korse to come this way, fine.” I said calmly, while walking upstairs.

I know that’s not what Gerard had meant, but I wanted to leave anyway and this seemed the perfect opportunity. I didn’t want to talk anymore either. I entered my room.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Gerard and Frank were standing in the doorway.

Gerard spoke again. “We need to protect you and we can…”

“No! I can take care of myself, okay? I don’t need you guys, you’re like bricks to my ankles!”

Gerard came awfully close now. I lost my balance and fell on the bed. He bent over.

“I told you to change your attitude or get out and right now? I see that nothing. Has. Changed. You are still ungrateful, even though we took care of you!” He pointed a finger at me.

I wasn’t going to back down. “Look, that things didn’t work out the way you planned it last time you tried to save someone, doesn’t mean I need four fucking babysitters!”

His facial expression was priceless, but then I started to feel guilty.

“You can keep the clothes. I want you gone within twenty minutes.” He sneered and walked out of the room. It was like he was holding back tears. What the actual fuck?

Frank looked at me, but then looked away. He was disappointed and I knew it.

“You’re really gonna go?” I nodded. “Wanna help me pack your things?”

“What things?” I snorted.

“Please don’t feel good about yourself now.” Wow, even Frank was angry with me.

I got up from the bed. “You saw him right? It was like he didn’t take my story seriously!”

“Well he thought you weren’t taking him seriously.” Frank sighed. “He just wanted you to open up.”

“Oh yeah, nice fucking way of letting me know…” I mumbled.

“Hope… I really hate to break it to you and I know Gerard is not the most charming man to talk to right now… But maybe it’s time to let some people into your life. It’s time you start trusting people.” And with that Frank walked away.

Well, crap.

What did I do? I know I can be stubborn but I told them a lot. More than I had done to anyone the last couple of years. I had opened up and THEY weren’t appreciative. Besides, Gerard is bipolar as shit.

I scanned the room, looking for some stuff to take with me, but sadly… All I had were clothes. I noticed the towel Frank got me earlier. It was almost dry. Well, fuck it. I needed a pillow for the road anyway. I took it and went downstairs, out the door.

I hadn’t noticed the two dummies in the yard before. So this is where they practiced? I walked over to them. They were just bags of sand tied to pieces of wood, which were firmly inserted into the ground below.

One dummy was in a really bad condition. I bet it would break with just one kick. Hmm, challenge accepted.

I threw the towel on the ground and stood right in front of the dummy. As much as I wished I could see Gerard’s face on that thing, it didn’t happen. Instead I saw my father. The same man I had trusted for years, for god’s sake, my entire childhood. Anger grew within me and before I knew it I had hit the dummy.

I wouldn’t let the tears stop me and I kept hitting the damn thing. Left, right, left, right, stomach, face stomach again, face again! This felt good. I felt my whole body getting warmer with every hit.

I heard my father’s voice in my head. “Hope, someone’s going to come for you and you are going with him.

It’s for the best…

The best.”

With one high kick I knocked over the dummy. The piece of wood had broken. That’ll teach ‘em.

I just stood there for a minute; catching my breath, sweating, feeling the anger seep out through my pores slowly. It felt damn good. I wasn’t really in good shape, but I still had it.

I felt my upper arm sting. Fuck, some of my stiches had popped and I was bleeding again. I grabbed the towel and pushed it onto my arm. I looked around.

“I can’t go back…” I muttered to myself.

Then I saw the barn. It was old and filthy, but I needed some shelter until my arm stopped bleeding. Fine, it didn’t really look like someone was using it anyway.

I walked over to the barn, opened the door a bit and looked inside. You could say it was more like an old shed, but it looked kind of cozy and I sat down in some hay. The barn was completely empty, except for the huge stacks of hay and the bit of hay on the floor.

I looked at my arm.

“Fuck.” I muttered.

The sleeve from Gerard’s shirt was soaked with blood now. Well, great. I placed the towel back on my upper arm. Guess I have to just… Sit it out.

I was still panting from beating the dummy, but it felt good. Although, I felt a bit lightheaded again. I decided to lie down, the hay was surprisingly comfortable. Meh, it was too hot outside to go somewhere anyway. Besides, it’s dangerous. Dracs will spot you immediately in broad daylight. I’ll wait… Until it’s… Dark… Outside.

And with that I fell asleep.

Notes