Pay the price

I laid in bed doing absolutely nothing. I haven't moved from this spot in days and i haven't eaten in almost a week either. Gerard's been concerned and tried to motivate me to get up but after he leaves for work I go back to the bed and don't move.

I feel depressesed constantly and my suicidal thoughts have started to come back. I know gee can tell and that's why he's worried. He won't even leave Nathan home with me by myself so Mikey's been living with us to help out.

Speaking of Nathan "daddy!!!" He screamed runing into the room and jumping ontop of me.
"Daddy I wanna play! M won't play with me!" He cried using Mikey's nickname since he can't actually say mikey.

"shit Nathan come out of there! You'll wake him-" mikey stopped mid sentence when he saw I was in fact awake.

"See m don't wanna play and I want you anyway!" He pleaded

"no Nathan." I said rudely.

"whyyyyyyy" he whined

"because I fucking don't okay!" I yelled and scared him. He jumped off me and ran as fast as he could out of the room trying not to cry.

Mikey ran after him and after about five minutes he came back in and locked the door behind him. "That was fucking cold frank." He said seriously.
"That's your fucking kid and your gonna treat him like that?! He wanted to play because I was busy cleaning his mess up from earlier and you had to scream at him?! What the hells your problem you could've just said no!"

I didnt respond i just glared at him.

"you know what frank you're on a downward spiral and once you hit rock bottom gerard can't save you anymore. He's saved you countless times and in my honest opinion for Nathan's sake I think he should take him and leave. He's being more of a father than you right now and it makes me sick to see you moping around because you think you're special."

"I don't think I'm-"

"frank get over yourself man! I'm going to be completley honest with you because if you don't get your shit together gerard will leave and take Nathan with him. You. aren't. fucking. special. at all. Oh your kid has epilepsy? well guess what! gerard is his dad too! Gerard's kid has epilepsy too Nathan's not just yours! But Gerard's not home turning into a wreck he's out working his ass off for you! Just think about that before you let your life turn to total shit."
he said and then slammed the door on the way out.

Ouch.
--------

"Frankie are you up?" I heard Gerard's voice call.

"Yeah." I said and he opened the bedroom door and walked in.

"K I just didn't want to wake you." gerard said and then he set his stuff down on the dresser and changed out of his work clothes.

He didnt say anything else and just laid down on the bed. He looked at me for a minute before shaking his head and crawling under the covers facing away from me.

"Gee what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing we'll talk later." He said almost sadly

"gee are you sur-"

"frank please just stop. We'll talk later." He said with putting empathis on the later.

fuck

Notes

I decided to change the ending a little and I think we have one or two updates left at most

commenr rate subscribe

xoxox
mcrlove