Making The Grade

I stay at Frank’s house again, and the next morning, I’m the one to wake him up, which means another occurrence of me staring dreamily at Frank as he sleeps, oblivious.
I shake him lightly, really not wanting to disturb him, especially since I heard him awake past midnight the previous night. Unfortunately, it’s 6:00, so I have to.
Frank moans sleepily, then lets out a high pitched whine as he stretches his arms. He glances up at me and smiles, yawning,
“Good morning, Gerard.”
I grin back, replying, “Morning, Frank.”
Frank gives another high pitched yawn and stumbles off of the couch, dragging himself to the bathroom. He’s showered and ready to go at 6:30. He grabs a coffee on his way out the door, and I follow, inhaling the aroma desperately.
When we get in the car, Frank sits there, not touching the ignition. Instead, he sets his keys down and looks at me. “Gerard, you’ve been going through shit beyond your years.”
I stare into my lap, twiddling my thumbs as Frank adds,
“Sorry for cursing, but it needed to be said.”
I nod, and wait for Frank to start the car. But he doesn’t. He leans closer to me, asking,
“Gerard, look at me. Please?”
I force myself to look up, meet his eyes. Frank lets a smile, and runs a hand through his disheveled hair, informing,
“You know, I was up so late last night.”
“You were,” I agree.
“Do you know why?” Frank questions, the smirk on his face growing noticeably bigger.
I shake my head. “I don’t like to pry.”
Frank answers, “I was finding you a home, Gerard. I remember you telling me about your uncle who lives just a few towns over. And guess what?”
“What?” I ask flatly. I know he would never take me. I peed in his plant when I was five and shot his dog with a BB gun on accident when I was 10. Not only that, but I know that he doesn’t agree with gay rights. He’s devout and would never want a kid like me fucking that up for him and his family.
“He’s happy to have you join him this weekend,” Frank boasts, bearing a grin too large for his face. “You’ll be staying Friday, and then Saturday afternoon, you’re going with him.”
I hug Frank. It’s an impetuous move, based solely on impulse. Frank did something incredible for me. Not to mention, I had only told him what town my uncle lives in, his first name and his job. And Frank managed not only to contact him but to convince him into taking me in.
Frank chuckles and rubs my back, breaking the hug. “Just thought you’d want to know. So just a few more nights at my house, and then you’re off, kiddo.”
“Frank- I mean, Mr. Iero, I can’t thank you enough,” I gush.
“Call me Frank,” Frank insists.
We drive to the school, where I tell Ray the good news.
He’s not enthused. He doesn’t even crack a grin.
“What’s up your ass?” I question. Bob’s eyes dart up from the screen of his console at the swear.
“Well, you’re moving! And Frank… he’s gone after this year. He’s going to a different school,” Ray points out.
“And?” I push.
“AND!?” Ray exclaims. Some kids look over, and I duck my red face in embarrassment. I’ve always hated having attention called to myself. “Are you ever going to be with him?”
“I told him I liked him, and he didn’t exactly return the feelings,” I growl through gritted teeth.
“You don’t know that. He could’ve just lied to protect his job,” Ray responds confidently. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Gerard.”
“Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me, Ray,” I remind.
“You won’t be a student of his anymore,” Ray proceeds. “You’re spending one night at his place off of your student obligations, correct?”
“Correct,” I reply, still not seeing what he’s getting at.
“So? Date him!” Ray encourages. “It’s totally legal! As long as you don’t have sex. When do you turn 18?”
“April,” I answer.
“Oh. Well, I advise you wait till then but….” Ray winks at me. “I can’t get in the way of free love.”
I shove him, groaning, “God, you’re weird!”
“Come on, Gerard. Give me one good reason not to do this,” Ray orders.
“Um, I don’t want to?” I guess. “Also, I’ve already been shot down by him once, and that fucking hurt. I don’t know if I want to go through that again.”
“Fine, fine,” Ray agrees.
“Finally!” I sigh, relieved. I take a spoonful of food in, when Ray adds,
“Just consider the fact that you’d likely never see him again. Just think about how you’d never find out if he loves you back.”
I nearly spit out that spoonful.
I spend the week rehearsing what I’ll say to Frank, how to convince him to date me. I figure maybe he’ll appreciate an essay on why he should go out with me, seeing as he’s an English teacher and all. Or maybe a poem since he’s a creative writing teacher. It ends up being somewhat of a short speech.
Friday rolls around so quickly that I’m still considering the idea of a haiku, perhaps. In GSA, I don’t say much, too anxious to speak or engage myself in the discussion. Prom’s coming up, so we’re learning about our rights as far as what we wear and who we take. I’m not going to prom anyways, so I really don’t have a valid reason to pay attention.
At the end of GSA, Patrick stops me in the hall.
“Gerard, you didn’t really do anything today. Are you tired, or what?”
“Just tired,” I lie. I force a smile, which Patrick returns with a grin.
“Tell me what’s really bothering you, ya’ little shit,” Patrick demands through his smile.
My eyebrows jolt up in surprise at his reaction. I agree to tell Patrick everything, spill my guts all over the floor.
The conversation starts with,
“You have to promise not to tell.”

Notes

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