Life is but a Dream for the Dead

Gerard watched Frank as he stirred in his bunk, his eyes fluttering open. His face was pale and drained and there were huge purple bags under his eyes. When he turned his head and looked at Gerard, he winced. His eyes were utterly bloodshot, his pupils still blown out of proportion. Gerard held Frank's gaze until Frank sighed and dropped back onto the mattress, blinking slowly. "Did you fuck me last night?" Frank rasped. "No." "Really?" Frank's voice was genuinely surprised. "Really. I didn't Frank, I just... Nothing happened," Gerard insisted. He didn't want to tell Frank that he'd held him all night long, kissing his face and his neck, stroking his fingers through his hair until he'd fallen asleep. "Why didn't you? You could have easily taken advantage of me last night and I wouldn't have done anything to stop you," Frank pointed out, sounding confused. Gerard got up and walked over to him, placing both arms on the side of Frank's head, hovering over him. "Because I wanted you to want it too Frank. I wouldn't take advantage of you when you're in that state." "But what about when you raped me?" Frank asked coldly. "I'm truly sorry about that Frank. Sometimes I just can't keep my temper under control and I do things I don't mean. I never meant to hurt you, I was just so angry with you," Gerard whispered softly. "I don't expect you to forgive me for it and I don't forgive myself for it either."
Frank didn't say anything, he just nodded. He wasn't used to this side of Gerard, the sweet, gentle part of him that Frank had never really seen before. He knew how to deal with Gerard being his normal self, but this... He didn't know how to be around Gerard when he was actually being nice to Frank. Gerard pushed a strand of Frank's hair out of his face and leant down to place his lips over his, softly kissing him. Frank hesitantly kissed him back and pulled Gerard on top of him, gripping his forearms tightly. When Gard kissed him every nerve tingled throughout Frank's body and he felt flushed and didn't know what to do. He made him feel young and stupid again, made him feel like he was a different Frank from the past. He made him feel alive. Gerard broke off to look at Frank, his eyes wide with surprise. Frank bit his lip and trailed his fingers down Gerard's face. "This still doesn't mean anything Gerard. I'm still Callum's." With that he slid out from under Gerard, only to be pulled back again and trapped against Gerard chest, secretly liking how roughly Gerard handled him and the way he could feel Gerard pressed so tightly against him, his heart beating against Frank's back. "Where do you think you're going?" Gerard whispered darkly into his ear, his breath hot against Frank's neck. Frank held back a shiver and tried to slow his heart beat, knowing Gerard could feel his heart as his hands pressed his chest back against Gerard. "None of your business," Frank replied flatly. "You can't just pretend like nothing happened last night Frankie," Gerard mouthed against his neck. "I got you what you wanted. You're going to have to repay me for it." "I don't have to do anything for you," Frank replied, still not trying to move from Gerard's grip. Gerard laughed dryly. "You owe me Frankie and you know it. You're not leaving this cell until you repay me." Frank did shiver at that, shuddering in Gerard arms. "And how do you think I should repay you?" Gerard nipped at his pulse point in his neck sharply, making Frank gasp. "You know exactly what I want you to do." "But you just said that you want me to want it too," Frank pointed out. "You going back on your word now?" "No," Gerard breathed, his tongue trailing the outer shell of Frank's ear, teasing him. "I know you want it, and I know you're going to do what I ask you to." Frank laughed. "You're wrong. I told you Gerard, I'm not like every other fuck toy you've had. I'm not going to just let you have me." Frank gasped as he was spun round and and pressed against the bed, Gerard pinning him down, his eyes burning intensely. "If you won't let me then fine. But this is a prison Frankie and there are rules. And if I can take down Callum in a fight, that makes you my bitch. Either way, I'm going to have you Frank. You can't avoid me forever." Frank's face drained of colour and Gerard smirked. "You wouldn't. Gerard please, tell me you won't." "I don't think you get how far I'm wiling to go to get you Frankie," Gerard purred into his ear. He slowly leant down to kiss Franka again, but he remained unmoving and rigid as Gerard kissed him. He withdrew from Frank and got up, sauntering towards the cell door. "I don't think you'll want to miss this Frankie," Gerard called to him, his voice light and airy. "This is all because of you, after all." ********************************* "Callum," was all Gerard said as he walked out onto the yard where the prisoners currently where. Callum looked up and his face curled into a snarl, observing the way Gerard was striding towards him, his face completely blank of emotion. Callum could already tell there was going to be a fight. "What do you want Way?" Callum spat. "Your bitch," Gerard replied as he squared up to him, their bodies pressed together and their faces inches apart. Callum burst out laughing but was abruptly cut off as the first punch was delivered. Frank was stood in the shadows of the building, watching as Gerard and Callum fought, tumbling to the ground, a blur of fists and yells. "You're fucking crazy Way, he's [i]mine[/i]" Callum hissed as they grappled around in the dirt. "That won't be true for much longer," Gerard snarled back, straddling Callum and hitting him so hard he felt bone crunch under his hand and their orange uniforms were splattered with blood. Callum groaned and tried to push Gerard off of him as blow after blow was delivered to his face. He managed to land a sharp punch to Gerard's ribs, causing the younger the gasp and freeze momentarily. Callum took his chance and threw Gerard backwards, his body sprawling out across the ground. Callum lunged for him and his hands went round his throat, only to be kneed in the stomach, giving Gerard a chance the regain control of the fight. There was a huge crowd formed round them by now, the other inmates watching in amazement as their newest inmate beat the living daylight out of one of the most feared and respected prisoners. Was Iero really that special? Gerard froze as he heard a soft squelching noise and looked down to find Callum had shanked him. Gerard let out a faint breath before looking back at Callum, who was sneering up at him from a bloody and bruised face. "You're going to wish you'd never have done that," Gerard whispered. Callum just laughed, but was soon shut up as Gerard yanked the hand crafted weapon out of his bleeding side and brought the shank straight down through the the middle of Callum's left cheek. His eyes bulged out of his head in disbelief, blood spouting over his face and blinding him. Gerard, without a single second thought, drew the knife across Callum's cheek to his lip. The crowd of prisoners around them watched as Gerard held Callum down and slashed open his other cheek with a flick of his wrist. Blood was everywhere and Callum seemed to have fainted as Gerard had swung his arm back and knocked him out. Gerard threw down the shank and stood up, pressing his palm flat over his bleeding wound, trying to slow the blood flow. He looked up at the crowd around him, and smiled. "Anyone else want their face cut in half?" Gerard asked, smiling pleasantly, fully aware of how insane he must have looked. The crowd slowly shuffled back and Callum's puppets had rushed forwards, glaring at Gerard as they dragged their leader away from him. Gerard looked down at the stab wound and sighed heavily. "That fucker better not have given me HIV through that shank," he grimaced. ****************************** Days later, when Gerard returned the cell he shared with Frank, he was amused to find the look of dread on Frank's face when the door was shut by the prison guards behind him. He rubbed over his wrists where the cuffs had been digging in before wandering over to Frank and grabbing him and kissing him roughly. Frank made a muffled sound of protest, shoving at Gerard's chest angrily. Gerard just smirked as he withdrew, licking over Frank's lips. "You really are fucking insane," Frank hissed. "I missed you too baby," Gerard chuckled, grabbing Frank's smokes and lighting one up. Gerard had been in the infirmary for a few days and then had a spent a week in lockdown by himself, as punishment for what he'd done to Callum, who was still in the infirmary with Dr. Wong, the lucky bastard. "You should hear what people are saying about you," Frank muttered as he watched Gerard stretch out across Frank's bunk and smoke. "And what's that?" "That you're in the Mafia," Frank replied flatly. "Please tell me that's not true." "I'd be lying if I did," Gerard told him quietly. "I was wondering how long it would be before that got out." "What do you mean?" Frank demanded. Gerard shrugged. "I'm part of the Mafia Frank. What else do you want me to say?" Frank's face dropped and he turned away from Gerard. "How could you be part of something like that? Donald Way is murdering sadist who ruins people's lives! He's cruel and doesn't give a fuck about any one but himself, he's-" "My father." Frank whirled round and stared at Gerard. "Your father? [i]You[/i]? You're his [i]son[/i]?" Gerard nodded, pulling heavily on the cigarette. "Yes. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult the man. You don't know him." "I know what he does though Gerard and it's [i]wrong[/i]," Frank replied breathily, wringing his hands. Gerard sat up. "You have something against us?" "[i]Us[/i]," Frank sneered. "It's as if you don't even have your own identity,as if you're just some other mindless clone who does all of that fucker's dirty work." "There's obviously something you're not telling me," Gerard said, raising an eyebrow. "My dad, he... He owed them money. He was part of your sick little system. He paid them for 'protection'. He paid your family money so that they wouldn't come round and put him in hospital and burn his house down. He didn't [i]need[/i] protection. He was just another innocent guy you were blackmailing money out of. And one day he was late on a payment he wouldn't be able to get the money for weeks. So you know what your family did? They put my father in a coma for two months and raped my mother," Frank spat at Gerard. Gerard just stared at Frank. "Frank... I had nothing to do with that." "No, of course you didn't," Frank snapped at him. "You were probably only a few years old. But you don't know the worst part. The guy who raped my mother got her pregnant. Me, Gerard. I'm only here because of what your precious family did." "Frank... Frank, I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know what to say to you," Gerard admitted, not looking at Frank. "Don't say anything. You're just another murdering piece of shit who belongs to a huge organisation of murdering shits," Frank spat at him. "What you do Gerard, it's not right. I won't have anything to do with someone who's a part of that." Grafd was about to snap at Frank, to pin the small, thin tattooed man against the wall, but he didn't. He just calmly replied to Frank, "Things are going to be different when I'm Don." Frank laughed coldly. "Like fuck they are. You're the product of your father Gerard, why should I believe you're any different to him?" Gerard sighed and closed his eyes before opening them again and looking straight at Frank. "Because I feel remorse and regret Frank. Because I forgive and I love and my dad [i]doesn't[/i]. We're not the same person."
"How do I know that's true? Do you expect me to believe that after what I saw you did to Callum?" Gerard shook his head. "I'll show you it's true when I get you out of here." Frank stared at him as he'd truly lost his mind. "Now you're talking shit Gerard. I'm never getting out of here. I have a life sentence." "You think I couldn't make that possible? Frank, I could give you anything you wanted. I can get you out of here, trust me." "Don't lie to me," Frank whispers sadly. "Don't promise me things you can't give me." "I could give you the world Frank. I could have the man who raped your mother killed if that was what you wanted. I could have every worthless fuck that ever took advantage of you hanged if that was what you wanted too," Gerard told him firmly. Frank shook his head. "No Gerard. I don't want that." Gerard's face hardened. "Then tell me what you want Frank, tell me and I can give it to you." "I don't know what I want anymore Gerard! All I know is that I'm not getting out of here, so don't torture me with the idea that I can!"
"Frank, listen to me," Gerard pleaded, grabbing Frank's face between his hands firmly. "I'm getting out of here pretty soon and I'm not leaving you to rot away in here. I'm going to get you out and I don't care how long it takes, how much it costs, what I have to do. I promise you, I won't leave you behind." Frank just looked at him sadly. "I wish I could believe you." Gerard leant his forehead against Frank's. "You don't have to believe me now. But you'll know I never lied to you when you get released from here and they lift whatever bullshit charges there are against you." Frank just kissed him firmly to make him shut up.

Notes