On The Edge
On The Edge
Frank's POV
I must have dozed off. My eyes were hazy, and I reached for Gerard, to pull him in closer, to whisper in his ear, to plant a million tiny kisses on his, face, hands, everywhere. I reached out, but only encountered cool bedding. He'd been gone a while. My eyes snapped open, wide open. He was in no fit state to be up and about today. I sat up, a thousand equally disastrous scenarios crashing around inside my head. I checked the time; it was 11 pm. I'd been out for almost 10 hours. He could be anywhere, doing anything! I glanced at his side. The bed was neatly made, and...and...
an envelope with my name written in beautiful cursive letters.
My blood ran cold.
Oh no.
'No no no no no...' I whispered.
I stared at the envelope, the gorgeous curved script. My hands shook. I reached out, and opened it along the seal. I pulled out the letter, opened it, and read it, trembling.
Frank,
I love you with all my heart. Please, please remember that, because it's the truth and the truth is important. I know you love me too, all of me.
The problem is that I don't love myself. But that doesn't matter. I don't matter. You'll find better. I know it.
I'll be watching over you forever, baby. You'll do great things. Your scorpion is your symbol, the thing that makes you stand out as the most talented person I've had the fortune to meet. Someone so talented that you'll never have a normal job. You are unique, one of a kind. I'm so lucky.
Thank you, Frankie.
So long and goodnight.
Love,
Gerard xxxxxxx
I froze. My phone was on the side, and as I grabbed it, my movements seemed clumsy and slow. I rang Gerard's number. It went to his answering machine. I heard his voice, telling me to leave a message.
'FUCKING LISTEN TO ME GERARD WAY, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS!' My scream was terrified, and I began to cry angry tears. 'PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, DON'T YOU DARE DO IT!'
I jabbed at Mikey's name in my phone, desperate. Every moment was a moment wasted when he wasn't safe. He didn't pick up either. Asleep, at a guess.
Thank fuck I was still in my clothes. My tears blinded me, and I ran out into the night. There were no stars. I could only think of one place to go. The bridge, our bridge, where I saw a glimmer of hope. Where I asked him out. Where we walked in the mornings, discussing the latest bodies in the lake below. Laughing about drowning lessons...
I reached the bridge. Earlier, the height was laughable. Now, it rivaled mountains, as Gerard, my beautiful, individual Gerard, was poised, arms outstretched on the wall. He resembled a bird, about to take flight.
I remembered the day he sat on that wall and I kissed my boyfriend. Our fingers were intertwined, resembling a spider's web. Beautiful, but will kill if you get in too far.
I screamed. I ran up to him.
Everything went in slow motion. He turned and looked at me, and in doing so, lost his balance. Fear flashed across his face, as he wobbled on the edge...
And fell backwards into my arms.
I must have dozed off. My eyes were hazy, and I reached for Gerard, to pull him in closer, to whisper in his ear, to plant a million tiny kisses on his, face, hands, everywhere. I reached out, but only encountered cool bedding. He'd been gone a while. My eyes snapped open, wide open. He was in no fit state to be up and about today. I sat up, a thousand equally disastrous scenarios crashing around inside my head. I checked the time; it was 11 pm. I'd been out for almost 10 hours. He could be anywhere, doing anything! I glanced at his side. The bed was neatly made, and...and...
an envelope with my name written in beautiful cursive letters.
My blood ran cold.
Oh no.
'No no no no no...' I whispered.
I stared at the envelope, the gorgeous curved script. My hands shook. I reached out, and opened it along the seal. I pulled out the letter, opened it, and read it, trembling.
Frank,
I love you with all my heart. Please, please remember that, because it's the truth and the truth is important. I know you love me too, all of me.
The problem is that I don't love myself. But that doesn't matter. I don't matter. You'll find better. I know it.
I'll be watching over you forever, baby. You'll do great things. Your scorpion is your symbol, the thing that makes you stand out as the most talented person I've had the fortune to meet. Someone so talented that you'll never have a normal job. You are unique, one of a kind. I'm so lucky.
Thank you, Frankie.
So long and goodnight.
Love,
Gerard xxxxxxx
I froze. My phone was on the side, and as I grabbed it, my movements seemed clumsy and slow. I rang Gerard's number. It went to his answering machine. I heard his voice, telling me to leave a message.
'FUCKING LISTEN TO ME GERARD WAY, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS!' My scream was terrified, and I began to cry angry tears. 'PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, DON'T YOU DARE DO IT!'
I jabbed at Mikey's name in my phone, desperate. Every moment was a moment wasted when he wasn't safe. He didn't pick up either. Asleep, at a guess.
Thank fuck I was still in my clothes. My tears blinded me, and I ran out into the night. There were no stars. I could only think of one place to go. The bridge, our bridge, where I saw a glimmer of hope. Where I asked him out. Where we walked in the mornings, discussing the latest bodies in the lake below. Laughing about drowning lessons...
I reached the bridge. Earlier, the height was laughable. Now, it rivaled mountains, as Gerard, my beautiful, individual Gerard, was poised, arms outstretched on the wall. He resembled a bird, about to take flight.
I remembered the day he sat on that wall and I kissed my boyfriend. Our fingers were intertwined, resembling a spider's web. Beautiful, but will kill if you get in too far.
I screamed. I ran up to him.
Everything went in slow motion. He turned and looked at me, and in doing so, lost his balance. Fear flashed across his face, as he wobbled on the edge...
And fell backwards into my arms.
Notes
Thanks for the continued support. I'll keep it going, and write more fics, if you guys want me too.
Love always,
Em xo
@teapartypoison
Sounds reasonable.
1/4/14