On The Edge
Spiderwebs
Frank's POV
This time, it was me who woke up first. I lay, in the long moment between being fully awake and sleep, in the early morning, enjoying hearing the birds and the lone ray of sun and the sleeping Gerard lying next to me. I savored the lazy length of this moment, enjoying absorbing every detail of his face. Mornings, to me, should consist of coffee and walking, and so this is what we did, hand in hand. We strolled to the park. Time stood still at 6 a.m. The hookers and sharks had gone to hide in the shadows, but the kids weren't at school or smoking on street corners. It was a moment of suspension, of pleasant nothingness. There were no rights, or wrongs; the world just hung in the balance for the longest of moments, with the steely sky enveloping us. We soon reached the bridge over the lake. He sat on the wall where I saw my scorpion. It was him who spoke in a calm, neutral voice, in keeping with the world.
'What are we, Frankie?'
The moment was more perfect than an artificially manufactured one that I had spent months devising. The world held time still for us, suspended us.
'Gerard Arthur Way, will you be my boyfriend?'
He didn't speak. Our hands were intertwined with the intricacy of a spiderweb. His kiss was soft and as I returned it, I knew that this was just as beautiful and as deadly as the glinting threads that spiders strung. My mouth turned upwards into a smile against his mouth. Now I could keep him safe.
~
Gerard's POV
Shit! Holy fucking shit. What had I done? How could I let myself do this? How could one moment of weakness, one stupid, fucking moment of bliss go so wrong? My new fucking boyfriend had gone home, to break the news to his family. I slammed my fists angrily against my bedroom wall, dissolving into tears, falling into a pile on the floor. Now I couldn't fuck it all up. I didn't want to lose him, I wanted to lose myself. I shut my eyes, and saw the bodies fall from that tower again, and cringed at my inability to save them. My own fucking worthlessness was unbearable. I got up, and staggered blindly to my mirror. I saw a skinny, ugly nervous fucking wreck, an evil, selfish, worthless human. I smashed the mirror, smashing the person I hated inside. I wanted Frank like a child wants sweets, greedily, selfishly. This was all wrong.
I'd ruined my chance at happiness because I am me.
I slumped down on to the floor again. My phone lit up with the address of an ally where Jakob resided.
The tear tracks on my cheeks resembled a spider's web in the way they glinted, like a map of where my self pity leaked from me.
I sniffed and grabbed my wallet, and headed out into the night.
This time, it was me who woke up first. I lay, in the long moment between being fully awake and sleep, in the early morning, enjoying hearing the birds and the lone ray of sun and the sleeping Gerard lying next to me. I savored the lazy length of this moment, enjoying absorbing every detail of his face. Mornings, to me, should consist of coffee and walking, and so this is what we did, hand in hand. We strolled to the park. Time stood still at 6 a.m. The hookers and sharks had gone to hide in the shadows, but the kids weren't at school or smoking on street corners. It was a moment of suspension, of pleasant nothingness. There were no rights, or wrongs; the world just hung in the balance for the longest of moments, with the steely sky enveloping us. We soon reached the bridge over the lake. He sat on the wall where I saw my scorpion. It was him who spoke in a calm, neutral voice, in keeping with the world.
'What are we, Frankie?'
The moment was more perfect than an artificially manufactured one that I had spent months devising. The world held time still for us, suspended us.
'Gerard Arthur Way, will you be my boyfriend?'
He didn't speak. Our hands were intertwined with the intricacy of a spiderweb. His kiss was soft and as I returned it, I knew that this was just as beautiful and as deadly as the glinting threads that spiders strung. My mouth turned upwards into a smile against his mouth. Now I could keep him safe.
~
Gerard's POV
Shit! Holy fucking shit. What had I done? How could I let myself do this? How could one moment of weakness, one stupid, fucking moment of bliss go so wrong? My new fucking boyfriend had gone home, to break the news to his family. I slammed my fists angrily against my bedroom wall, dissolving into tears, falling into a pile on the floor. Now I couldn't fuck it all up. I didn't want to lose him, I wanted to lose myself. I shut my eyes, and saw the bodies fall from that tower again, and cringed at my inability to save them. My own fucking worthlessness was unbearable. I got up, and staggered blindly to my mirror. I saw a skinny, ugly nervous fucking wreck, an evil, selfish, worthless human. I smashed the mirror, smashing the person I hated inside. I wanted Frank like a child wants sweets, greedily, selfishly. This was all wrong.
I'd ruined my chance at happiness because I am me.
I slumped down on to the floor again. My phone lit up with the address of an ally where Jakob resided.
The tear tracks on my cheeks resembled a spider's web in the way they glinted, like a map of where my self pity leaked from me.
I sniffed and grabbed my wallet, and headed out into the night.
Notes
Hello~
I would have posted it sooner buuuut it deleted and blugh.
Any comments, any suggestions, any criticisms, as always let me know.
Em xo
@teapartypoison
Sounds reasonable.
1/4/14