Memories

My hands tangled themselves in Gerard's hair in an almost immediate reaction when he pulled me into his chest, his left hand gently caressing my jaw and causing me to melt into the touch while his right hand slowly took the small suitcase from my grip and placed it beside us on the dusty floor. His eyes remained on mine as he leaned in, his lips brushing my own and causing shivers to rush down my spine. I kissed him back with more urgency, fighting back the tears and the lump that formed in my throat when I realised this would be the last time I could kiss him, touch him, and hold him for only God knows how long.

Reluctantly, we pulled apart at the deafening sound of the train entering the platform and the words "Now approaching platform two, train to New Jersey" echoed through the speakers and filled our ears. I swallowed sharply as Gerard bent down, picking up my suitcase that was placed there only moments before and I leaned forward to bury my face into his neck, inhaling his scent and taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the goodbye.

"I love you so much," I whispered into his hair, afraid to speak any louder in case my voice shook and gave away just how much pain I was feeling right then. "Please don't forget me."

I felt Gerard's hands on my shoulders as he moved me backwards to look at me, his eyes widening. "How could I forget you? Don't be silly, sugar," he cooed, brushing some hair from my face and leaning forward to kiss me one last time. I placed my hands either side of his face, my thumb caressing his cheek gently before I took my suitcase from his hand. "I love you," he smiled, kissing my forehead and letting his lips linger there for a few more seconds. "Come visit soon?"

I nodded, taking another deep breath. "I will. I promise. You'll see me again soon."

"That's what I like to hear," he smiled, and then nodded his head in the direction of the train that was almost completely boarded. "You good to go?"

"Nope, but I guess I have to be," I sighed, and Gerard chuckled, leaning down to brush his lips quickly against my own. I made a weak protesting noise when he pulled away, creasing my eyebrows together in a frown. "I love you," I said again over my shoulder when I began to walk towards the train.

"I love you too." He blew me a kiss as I stepped over the gap and I turned to catch it, closing my fist in the air. Gerard smirked, chuckling at me when I stumbled backwards through the doors, and I blushed fiercely as I took my seat. I heard the doors close and then the train was moving, taking me away from New York air and most importantly; Gerard.

I didn't keep track of how long had passed, but I guessed around fifteen minutes into the journey I'd drank two bottles of water and my leg was twitching with how bad I needed to pee. Eventually, I realised that the effort to hold it was much greater than the effort it would take to stand and walk down the aisle to the small toilet, so I stood with my suitcase, reaching up to shove it into the overhead compartment until I got back to my seat.

Thankfully when I found the toilet, it was unoccupied and I was free to go in and do my business. It was kind of awkward considering how jittery the train seemed to be and the fact that it was such a small space, but I managed not to urinate on myself. Although I only took a few minutes, I was startled when I heard knocking on the door. My head snapped up and immediately I began to rush, calling to the impatient prick that was still knocking on the door that I wouldn't be long. In a huff, I zipped myself back up and quickly ran my hands under the tap, then messily wiped them onto my jeans.

After stumbling over my own feet a few times, my hand found the lock and I quickly opened the door, stepping out of the claustrophobic room and walking face first into somebody. Quickly, I realised that this person was the one knocking so impatiently, and I rolled my eyes at the chest in front of me. I was about to walk away, not even giving the asshole the benefit of eye contact. That was, however, until the man spoke, and I froze on the spot, the colour draining from my face and I felt every single hair on my body stand up, as though I'd been electrocuted.

The words rang through my head like a ringing that wouldn't go away. My hands began to shake by my sides and I brought them up to my face, clasping them over my ears and squeezing my eyes shut.

"What are you doing here all on your own, Frank?"

"No." I shook my head, my eyes closing tighter and my entire body beginning to ache and tremble. "No, no, no! You're not here! You can't be!" My head hurt, blurs of pain and unbearable abuse flashing and making me feel nauseous to the point of heaving. A hand brushed over my shoulder and suddenly my eyes were open, alarmingly wide. I found myself staring directly in the face of my rapist, my abuser, my step-father.

My heart jumped into my throat and at the same time I felt as though my stomach was churning, threatening to spill its contents all over the fuzzy carpet of the train aisle. I had to grip onto somebody's seat that was beside me while I tried to ignore the overwhelming knowledge that almost every single head on that train was now scrutinizing my behaviour. I heard a few mutters of "is he okay?" coming from the booths but any other form of vocalization was drowned out by the words blaring through the speakers and filling my head.

"Train now entering North Jersey Coast station, don't forget your luggage and please be wary of the gap between the platforms."

The only thought rushing through my head that I could comprehend was that I had to get off of the train. Within seconds of the train stopping I was running, barely hesitating in front of the first exit I came across and my fist pounded on the button to open the doors. Without so much as a second glance back at my luggage that was still sitting in the overhead compartment, I sprinted onto the platform and away from the herd of new passengers awaiting to board the train.

I found myself hunched over, millions of things going through my mind and not one of them seemed to make sense. I placed my hands on my legs as I heaved, steadying myself and trying to breathe. I felt as though the air had been knocked straight out of me and my limbs were aching, barely allowing me to stand steadily.

I squeezed my eyes shut, bringing my hands up to rub them with my palms. The sound of the train rattling was the only thing that filled my ears, and as it began slowly moving, I found myself going after it. I picked up my pace, watching as I ran along the platform with the train ever so gradually becoming faster and faster, but I was always ahead of it. The sound of my own frantic breathing and the alarming pounding of my heart seemed to swallow any rational thoughts that I was capable of conjuring and as I neared the end of the platform, I turned to look at the front of the train that was hurtling towards me.

I took one last wretched breath, closing my eyes and picturing the night that I had first kissed Gerard. His smile filled my mind, and a single tear streaked down my face. My last words to him echoed around me and I smiled a vile and bitter smile. "I will. I promise. You'll see me again soon."

And then I jumped.

Notes

So, that was it. That was the end, you guys. Woah. I hope you enjoyed the story and you're not too pissed at me. I have to say, I'm going to miss it; this was by far my favourite one to write, considering how incredibly dark some chapters were. Anyway, I'll go now. I haven't yet decided that there will be an epilogue, but I can tell you now that there won't be a sequel. This is the end. Alrighty, I hope enjoyed.
Love, Skeleton.