Memories

I followed Lindsey curiously down the basement stairs. She turned her head every few seconds and smiled at me, and I smiled back, slightly confused. She motioned for me to sit on Gerard's bed and I did so while she wandered over to Gerard's desk filled with sketchpads, notepads and paper.

I craned my head up to see what she was doing when she began to carefully move them and search for something, but soon gave up. When she turned around again, she had a sketchpad in her grip, and her face lit up as she searched through it, opening it fully on a certain page.

"Frank," she started, her voice soft and inviting. "Gosh, how do I put this? Let's see." She placed a finger on the side of her head and her mouth twitched up into a smile. "Okay, so, when do you turn eighteen? You're Mikey's age, right?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Two months, I think." I tilted my head to the side, giving her a questioning look. "What's this all about?"

"Have you seen this?" She turned the sketchpad around so I could see it, revealing a drawing. I stared at the face on the paper and it stared back at me. My mouth dropped open and my breath caught in my throat. The person staring back at me was me.

"Is this what he drew?" I managed to choke out after a minute of staring. Lindsey smirked and nodded her head.

"He told me you knew he'd drawn it or something." She turned the pad around again to examine it better for herself.

"Well, yeah. I was there, but, I mean, I wasn't expecting...this." I was about to stand and walk over to where Lindsey was stood, but I heard the basement door open and light flooded into the room. Lindsey quickly closed the sketchpad and placed it in the middle of the desk before joining me on the edge of the bed.

"Fuck," Gerard hissed as he stumbled slightly down the stairs, spilling a little bit of hot coffee onto his hand.

"Here, let me help you." I stood and rushed over to him, taking the mug from his burned hand and letting him clean the coffee off onto his jeans. I began to sip it, but then realized there was only two mugs, not three. I glanced over to Lindsey who must have sensed my confusion and she shook her head.

"Don't worry, I'm packing up my things soon," she smiled, and instantly my heart dropped.
"What? You're leaving?"

"Yup, I have family to visit too, before I go back to New York." She glanced at Gerard. "You know, that job's still open if you want to take it," she told him, and my head snapped around to look at him.

"What job?" I asked, my voice cracking and causing me to sound like a confused child.
"Ah, it's nothing." He smiled at me, then shot a look at Lindsey. "I'm staying here."
Lindsey raised her hands in defeat. "Of course, I know. I was just reminding you in case things don't go how you want them to-"

"Lindsey, don't you need to be packing?" He cut her off, his cheeks blushing as he placed his coffee down on the desk before reaching under his bed and pulling out a red suitcase.

"Sure," she sighed, walking towards him to take the suitcase. Before she took it, she leaned forward and whispered something in his ear, causing his eyes to flicker towards me, his cheeks flushing pink. He coughed, looking down again and shuffling his feet awkwardly. I almost didn't realize when he nodded at Lindsey quickly and a smile spread across her face. "Well, I'll pack and get out of your hair."

Gerard and I both helped Lindsey to gather her things. It didn't take us long between the three of us, and by the time we'd finished, our coffees had cooled enough to be drinkable. Of course, that didn't stop Gerard before that. His was almost already completely drank.

"And the time is..." Lindsey trailed off, turning to check the small clock in the corner of the room. "Six-fifteen. Perfect timing." She smiled at Gerard, breathing a heavy sigh. "You ready to take me to the train station?"

"Sure." Gerard turned to me hesitantly. "Are you staying here with Mikey?"

I debated for a few seconds, before nodding. "Yeah, I have to talk to him about...something." I turned and grabbed my cup, and Gerard threw me a questioning glance before starting up the stairs with Lindsey.

I made my way back up to ground level after a few minutes of waiting for the front door to sound and met Mikey and Donna in the kitchen. Mikey was covered in lettuce and his glasses were steamed up. I let out a strained giggle at his state as Donna took in the mess he'd made from chopping the onions.

"Do you need a tissue?" I joked, earning a prod in the arm from Mikey. Donna wasn't a fan of violence, or even play-fighting.

"Shut up, it's the onions," he argued, lifting his glasses slightly and wiping his eyes with the back of is other hand.

"Yeah, yeah." I stuck my tongue out and grabbed him by the wrist. "I need to speak to you," I told him, turning to Donna. "Can I steal him?"

"Sure, sweetie. I'll clean up his mess."

I half-laughed as I dragged Mikey out the kitchen door and upstairs to his bedroom. As soon as the door was shut and I turned to face Mikey, my breathing heavy, he knew something was wrong.

"Dude, calm down and tell me what's going on." Mikey sighed, wiping some steam from his glasses.

"I don't know what to do! It's like, it's wrong, and I know it's wrong to feel like this, but I do. It won't stop and it gets worse when he's around, what do I do?" I inhaled a deep breath after my outburst, a weight seeming to lift from my shoulders at my sudden confession.

Mikey stayed silent, seeming to be thinking. "Gerard's not here, right?" He asked after a few seconds. "Like, he's gone to take Lindsey to the train station? They passed through the kitchen and said bye as they were leaving."

"Yeah, he's still gone," I sighed, running a hand through my already-greasy hair. "Why does it-"
"Jesus Christ, dude, just tell him. He feels the same way, I know it." He threw his hands up in defeat. "I don't understand why it's so complicated! I mean, you're both obviously hopelessly in love with each other!" He flung himself around the room as if to mimic a hopeless romantic, but he just looked like a monkey on crack.

"Seriously, it's not that simple. I'm seventeen, he's twenty-one, it's not-"

"It is so simple," he cut in, his sarcasm long gone.

"What's simple?" Gerard's voice sounded from the doorway. I didn't even hear the door open behind me, but Mikey's eyes flickered from me to him and his expression became unreadable.
"Nothing," I muttered quickly. I was weary as I turned around, but as I did so, I forced a smile onto my face. "Just some math homework. It's not simple at all," I aimed my words behind me at Mikey, who scoffed.

"The numbers mean nothing." He was playing along with my cover but he was still trying to get his point across. "You're over-thinking it."

I folded my arms, letting out a long breath. "Fine, okay, whatever. I'll...give it a go."

Gerard stared at us for a while, his eyes creased in confusion. "I'm- I, uh, okay?" He tilted his head before shaking it and turning and walking out the room.

"Gerard, wait," I called out after him and he poked his head around the door frame, his eyebrows raising. "Would you take me home tonight? Please?"

He smiled, chuckling slightly. "Of course, Frankie."

I was sure my eyes widened slightly as he replied, and I could barely manage to stutter one back. "T-thanks," I smiled, waiting for him to walk away again. When his head disappeared from the doorframe, I spun around to face Mikey.

"Shit, dude, you got it bad."

"I- what?" My head felt warm and my heart was beating a little too fast.

"You're blushing, like, a lot." He signalled to the small mirror in the corner of the room and I quickly rushed over to it, quietly cursing to myself when I saw that he was right.

"What the fuuck," I groaned, face-palming. "Dudes aren't supposed to blush."

"Boys! Tea's out!" Donna called from downstairs, and Mikey clasped his hands together.
"Uh, I'd de-blush if I were you. Y'know, before we go down," he laughed.

"How the fuck do I do that? I'd de-apron if I were you." I pointed to the lacey, floral apron he forgot he was wearing and his head snapped down to take in the messy material covering his Pixies shirt.

"Shut up," he muttered as he pulled it over his head and threw it towards his bed. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah," I sighed, mentally kicking myself. Why was all of this so complicated? Why couldn't I be eighteen already? Why did I have to be such a dipshit and fall in love with my best friend's brother- wait. Did I just say love?

No, not love. Maybe love.

As we entered the dining room, Donna and Gerard were already seated. Donna was sat at one side of the table, and Mikey hurried along to sit next to her. That left me with only one option and that was to sit next to Gerard who was sat opposite them. I could have sat at either end of the table, but I didn't want to give the wrong impression by not sitting in a perfectly empty chair by Gerard.

"Hey," Gerard smiled at me when I sat beside him, and I smiled back before digging into my dinner. I was trying to not let anyone know I felt slightly awkward, but I gave that away when Gerard accidentally reached for the salt at the same time as me - cheesy, I know right? - and his hand brushed mine. It was like a spark flew out of his hand and shocked me, but I pulled away and placed my hand in my lap quickly, clearing my throat.

Gerard gave me a curious look, and so did Donna. Mikey snorted and then yelped slightly as Gerard kicked him under the table. I let out a little sigh and picked a few vegetables from my dinner, eating them slowly whilst everyone else devoured theirs.

After dinner, we all sat around the table for a few minutes after in an uncomfortable silence, and I was beginning to grow tired. I reached my arm up to stretch, and accidentally hit Gerard in the face with my elbow.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry," I gasped, pulling my arms back down.

Gerard laughed, rubbing his eye. "It's okay," he assured me. "You ready go like, go home? You look kinda tired."

"Yeah, sure." I began to stand, then stopped. "Thanks for the dinner and everything," I smiled at Donna who returned it.

"No problem, honey. You're always welcome."

I nodded and tapped Mikey on the head as I walked behind him. "Bye, dude."

"Later. Oh, wait. Remember to not overthink the math homework. The numbers mean nothing."
"Yeah, whatever." I sighed, tired and stressed. "I'll see you later."

We made our way out to the car and I climbed into the front seat next to Gerard. He was seeming to keep his distance and it made me uncomfortable to know that Gerard was uncomfortable. The drive home was just as awkward as the dinner, and we both kept quiet.

I kept my eyes on the road outside. It was dark, but the streetlamps were radiating enough light to see the markings on the path. When I saw the familiar grass of my front garden, I began to open the car door when I heard Gerard's side open. Turning to see what he was doing, I saw he was climbing out of the car and walking around to my side. He opened the door fully for me and smiled when I looked up, confused.

"I'm walking you to your door," he stated, as though I should have known. But I nodded and exited the car when he held it open for me. I walked slightly in front and as we approached my front door, I saw none of the lights were on, which meant mom was already in bed.

"Well, thanks for the ride." I gave a small smile to Gerard who nodded understandingly and smiled back.

"No problem. I'll see you later." He began to turn to walk back to his car, but I stopped him by grabbing his arm gently.

"Wait, Gerard," I called quietly, and he spun around to face me. "One more thing."

Before he could reply, and before I could back out, I quickly stood on my tip toes, craning my head upwards and meeting my lips with his. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, and when I pulled away, Gerard stayed frozen. I turned quickly back towards my front door and unlocked it.

"Bye," I smiled, and Gerard seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in, his face breaking out into a grin.

"Yeah, bye."

I stepped inside and closed the door, clasping my hands together and leaning with my back against it before it hit me.

I kissed Gerard Way.

Notes

Aaaaayy I finally updated. I hope you enjoyedc: