Guitar Picks and Paper Cartoons

As I laid down in bed that night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I had an amazing day and for once I never worried about anything except what was happening then. I awoke with a start at three in the morning. I realized that the one thing I had sworn would never happen, did. I went an entire day, 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds without thinking of Hannah. I had forgotten her. And truth be told that was my biggest fear. As quick as it takes a pin to drop to the floor, realization became heartache which became pain. I quickly jumped up and ran to where my shoes were. I threw them on and grabbed a hoodie that was discarded on the floor. I opened the window and jumped out not realizing I forgot everything that was important. By important I mean my wallet which contained money and my school id. I ran all the way to the metro station and looked to see that the next train left at 5:37 which was over two hours from now. I sighed and reached into my pocket to realize that I didn't even have money if I wanted to go back to New York. I leaned against the wall and slide down it. Pulling my legs into my chest I just cried. My heart felt like it had been ripped out and I knew I needed to burry this feeling away. If I let it continue I would end up the way I always do. Feeling like it was a chore just to breath. I whipped my eyes, focusing on my shoes to distract my train of thought.

"Hey young lady, you ah you look a little lost let me help you find your way home," said a husky male voice. I looked up to see a very large and scary man. Why the hell did I always get in these situations? Why was I so stupid?

"No thanks I'm actually waiting for my boyfriend," I said standing up, runing to the pay phone and picking it up. I dialed the only number I could think of. Unfortunately he was the one person that I indulged myself in so much that I forgot about Hannah to begin with. I brushed my tears away, preying they would stop and with the only quarter I had, I dialed the number. A male voice answered and I could tell it was a sleepy Gerard.

"Hey it's me," I said trying to hold back my tears. "Umm I know it's late and everything but I need you."

"Well geeze I know I'm hot but it's 3:30 in the morning. You can't wait until school starts," he said in a cocky voice. I wish he knew that this was not the time to flirt.

"Umm it's not really like that," I said, "I'm kinda now realizing that your right. I really need to stop going out alone late at night." There was a loud bag on the glass near the phones. I looked outside and realized that there was a guy making inappropriate gestures on the window. I pushed the tears out of my eyes.

"Where are you at Anya?" he asked in a voice of pure concern.

"The metro station. Please," at this point I was all tears again, "Gee please just hurry."

"I'm leaving the house right now." I hung up the phone and sat down in one of the seats in the waiting area. I pulled my legs into my chest and prayed that everything would be okay. But deep down in side I felt as if I was losing myself. Maybe that was it. Maybe I'm not really scared of losing my sister and that life. Maybe I'm just scared I'm losing myself. About ten minutes later, I felt a pair of hands land around my ankles. I looked up quick with a jolt and realized it was Gerard. He sighed and whipped my tears out of my face.

"Come on, lets go home," he said while holding out a hand for me. I smiled and accepted it.

"You can say it, it's okay," I offered when we were about half way to Gerard's house.

"Say what," he said in a tired voice.

"Say that I'm a screw up, say 'I told you so' or whatever version you like." He pulled in to his drive and turned off the car.

"Anya even if I had enough energy to say that I still wouldn't. Now come on I'm tired lets go to bed."

"Okay sorry for waking you up. I'll see you tomorrow I guess." I got out of the car to only hear Gerard groan at me. I didn't understand why. He was tired, fine I'll leave him alone and go back home.

"Anya! Get in the house now. I am to tired to fight with your cute ass now go," he said in a final tone. Wait did he just call me cute. I turned and walked into the house as quietly as possible. I stopped at the stairs unable to see where I was. Gerard came in behind me and closed the door. His hands landed on my hips and gently pushed forward. I surrendered to his silent instructions and began to walk forward. We went upstairs to his room. I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the bed, looking up at Gerard. He through his jacket in the corner and pulled off his shirt. I blushed, looking at him in only his pajama pants which he never changed out of to come pick me up. He came over to the bed, grabbing a pair of shorts from his dresser along the way. He removed my jacket and handed me the shorts.

"I'll turn around if you want," he said as I grabbed the shorts. I stood up and pushed his head toward the wall. He laughed and slide into bed and faced the wall. I changed and slide in next to him.

"Can I request the wall side?" I whispered. He smiled and crawled on top of me but still allowed me enough room to slide over. I turned on my side, looking at Gerard's face. It was dark but there was enough light to see him slightly smile.

"Want to talk about it?" he whispered, I knew he was trying to be polite. I shock my head. "Okay, goodnight Anya," he said as he pulled me toward him making out bodies collide.

"Did you... did you call me cute?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah I did and you are, all though you are making me a teenage insomniac. Can you complain about it in the morning?" I laughed at his response. I turned over facing the wall and Gerard put his arm around me, pulling me close. What was going on? What am I doing. I'm letting myself be caught in happy moments when I shouldn't right?

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