Give me up.

Gerard had stayed for maybe another half an hour before he decided he had to get home, he couldn't be around me right now, he needed to forget that I'd be dead in a few months, I truly pitied Gerard. As soon as Gerard and Ray had left I took a minute to gather myself, I washed my tear stained face and took a deep breath. Had there been any point in washing my face? I had no doubt that in a moment I would be crying some more.
"Frank?" I whispered, the room was dark and the curtains had been drawn, there was no reply, "Frank?" muffled crying came from the bed, I sighed and slid under the duvet, I wrapped an arm around Frank's waist and nestled my head into the back of his neck.
"Don't cry, baby, " I shuffled away and turned Frank to face me, my thumb wiped away his warm tears and I pressed a kiss against his soft lips. I had no idea what to do, it's not like I could stop my inevitable death.
"It's going to be okay," I tried my best to comfort Frank but to be honest, comforting him seemed impossible right now, I was going to die no matter what, nothing would fix that and Frank knew, he knew and it was hurting him far more than it was hurting me. I'd die, I wouldn't feel anything, I'd feel no pain for being gone, I'd be just...gone. But to Frank, his best friend, his everything would be gone because that's what I am to Frank and there's no way to hold on to me and stop me from leaving. He knows that one day he'll wake up and I won't be there, I'll be dead, probably lay next to him, for the first time since telling Frank earlier he had finally realized that one day I'd go to sleep beside him and never wake up.
"Please-" Frank spluttered, "-no, don't, don't leave me, not that quickly," he was distraught and I felt the lump in my throat and the burning in my eyes as they filled with fresh tears.
"If I could stay, I would, we just need to enjoy the time I have left okay, I love you so much," I kissed Frank with force, for the first time in a while, I didn't ache, I wasn't in pain, it was like I had cried it all away. Frank sniffed and kissed back, he crawled onto me, knees either side, his hands held him up as he kissed me harder. After a while Frank used a hand to travel up my t-shirt, I reached out my arm to pull his head closer to mine, our foreheads rested together and heavy breathing filled the room. For the first time since I was fifteen Frank had to search my face for permission, he was scared of hurting me.

We lay in each others arms for a while afterwards in silence, it was comfortable and warm, it was a perfect moment.
"Mikey?" Frank's hushed voice filled my ears.
"Hmmm?" I smiled.
"I want the next couple of months, before you...I just..." he took a deep breath, I understood, this was hard for him, probably more so than me, "I want them to be special, they have to be fun, I need to remember you happily, you need to fill what's left of your life with happiness, we should go away, do things but most of all, I think we should get married. I promised you, all those years ago, back in highschool, that we'd do it all. We'd get married, have kids, live together, grow old together. We can't do it all anymore but we can get married. You're the love of my life," Frank pushed himself up and then pulled me up. He took my hand in his and kissed me.
"Mikey Way, what I want, more than anything, is for you to marry me, become my husband?"

Notes