
Give me up.
Chapter 2
I sighed deeply and took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, facing Frank. I had no idea how to explain this to him, he looked heartbroken just like I thought he would.
"I had plans to tell you, I hadn't really worked them out yet..." I searched for the right words desperately, they weren't surfacing at all which made this all the more difficult, I suppose I knew it wouldn't be easy but I never thought it would be this hard.
"I have no idea what to say," I finally managed, my eyes darting around the room, anywhere but Frank, I couldn't look at him right now, I couldn't cope with seeing his expression. The sound of his breathing flooded into my ears and then he pulled himself up from the sofa and snatched his mobile up from the coffee table, I could hear a ringing and then for the first time since I'd tried to explain, Frank spoke.
"Gerard, yeah it's me," my eyes widened and I heaved myself up as quickly as I could, I threw the pain to the side and hissed a little but I had to get the phone from Frank, there was no way I could tell Gerard, not right now anyway, he couldn't see me like this either. I fought for the phone but Frank sprinted to the bathroom and locked himself in, I pressed my ear against the door and bit my lip to stop me from crying.
"Yeah - seven would be fine - okay - Mikey? He'll be here - see you then."
I couldn't hold it back anymore, I sucked up as much air as I could and my lip wobbled and then I broke into incredibly loud and uncontrollable crying. The door to the bathroom swung open and Frank pulled me firmly towards his chest, I rested my head against him and sobbed, my chest heaved and my nimble fingers wrapped securely around the hem of his t-shirt. Frank understood, any signs of his devastation temporally departed as he became fully aware that I needed him, I was dying, painfully and all I needed was him.
Frank had carried me over to the sofa and let me cry myself to sleep, sprawled across his short body on the sofa. If it hadn't been for my boisterous older brother I probably would have slept till early morning. Gerard bound straight through the door, he pulled Ray into the room, their fingers carefully entwined. Gerard showed a slight dose of consideration as he pulled the front door closed quietly.
"Mikey!" Gerard chirped far too loud making me groan and cover my ears, my entire body ached and more than anything right now, I ached for some pain killers. I brushed back the strands of hair that had stuck to my slightly sweaty forehead. I had begun to run a fever of sorts.
"Frank-" I wheezed, my brows furrowed and my nose scrunched up due to my lack of amusement over my voice.
"What is it baby?" Frank kissed the top of my head and rested his chin there.
"Could you-" I took a breath and pushed myself up a little, "get me some painkillers? Maybe when we tell Gerard and Ray we could talk about the further action, together?"
Frank nodded, a considerable amount of concern concealed his once happy expression.
Gerard realized, along with Ray, that something was seriously wrong, they both took a seat on the opposing sofa to me and Frank. I swallowed my painkillers and took a long gulp of the glass of water that Frank had brought me to ease the pain in my throat.
"I didn't know how to tell you and although I wasn't earlier, I'm thankful right now to Frank for bringing you here. If he hadn't I wouldn't have told you until it was weeks, months in, until it was almost over...Gerard, you're my big brother and I love you so much, you've been there for me throughout everything and I'm sure that without you I wouldn't be here with Frank right now. Ray, you're my best friend! I love you so much, I'm glad you make my brother as happy as he makes you...I have cancer, guys. Pancreatic cancer, I'm so sorry."
Gerard looked, well I couldn't read his expression, he was blank, Ray's eyes filled with tears that quickly spilled over.
"No, uh, erm, that can be cured, I've read about it somewhere, uh, yeah, it's curable, it's okay, you'll be fine, no need to worry," Gerard rambled. I struggled up from the sofa but made it with a little push from Frank. I got on my knees in front of Gerard and looked apologetic, I took his hand in mine.
"It's too late, Gerard, it's too far in, I've been given an estimation as to how long I have left."
It was like the floodgates opened just then, I felt a pang of such hurt as my brother fell apart in front of me.
"NO!" he shouted, "you're not leaving! I won't let you! I'll stop it!" his lip trembled and his hands shook, his face grew red and he slid from the sofa into my arms, mumbles and begging faded into my t-shirt. Ray joined us on the floor and wrapped his arms around Gerard, Frank relaxed his body against mine and took hold of one of Gerard's shaking hands too.
"How long?" Gerard mumbled against me. This was something I'd never wanted to speak about but it had to be done.
"4-6 months," then he really fell apart and Frank just couldn't stay, I saw him ready to fall apart too, he just wasn't willing to do it in front of everybody. I flinched a little as the door to our bedroom slammed, I knew that Frank could deal with this by himself for now, I would join him later, we'd talk, I'd cry, he'd cry, we'd hold each other. Right now Gerard really needed me though and so I'd be there for him.
Notes
Please comment with what you think.
I'm so sorry if this is offensive or upsetting.
Please correct me if you find any errors.
Thankyou for reading c:
@Crash_Diamond
it's going to get worse hahah:)
1/7/14