Little Notebook of Horrors

“You’ve gotta take a look at it man, this is going to be the one.” I nodded confidently; tapping the manuscripts on my boss’s desk.

This was it. It had to be.

“I did take a look at it, Gerard.” He folded his hands.

Now he was going to tell me I got the job; tell me my life was about to change.

“And?” I beamed.

“And it was terrible. It was a piece of shit, complete waste of my time. I’m sorry but I’m only being honest with you, you’re never going to make it.” The man shook his head in exasperation.

Just like that. This greasy middle class maggot took my dreams and aspirations in the palm of his hands and wiped his ass with them. This wasn’t the first time, but it was certainly the worst.

You’re never going to make it. The words I refused to believe true, echoed inside my head. Taunting me, provoking me to do the worst.

“Have a nice day.” I said through clenched teeth. I gathered my things, pivoted on my foot and exited the building. Head still held high. I was done with feeble-minded fools like him telling me what I can and cannot do.

I picked up my pace, not wanting to think about where I was going or what I was going to do. Yes, I was running away from my problems. Did I care? No.

What seemed like 15 minutes later, I halted in front of a bar. It was one I remembered from my college days, “The Red Bay”. We’d go there every Saturday because it was one of the cheapest places to buy booze in the district.

I walked up the familiar cement stairs, being careful not to trip over my own feet like I’d done so many times before. I swung the peeling red doors open to be greeted with the sinful scent of teakwood, cigarettes and shame. Just how I remember it.

There weren’t many people inside except for a middle-aged man watching a football game and two younger couples playing pool. I sat down at the booths, allowing my briefcase to slump to the floor beneath my feet. I really couldn’t be bothered with it; my current thoughts were coaxing me to burn its contents the second I got home.

“Now that’s a face I haven’t seen in a while. What can I get for you?” One of the bartenders, Marvin, walked over to where I was sitting. I looked up at him, my expression unchanging.

“Double shot of Bacardi 151. Plain.” Marvin nodded, swinging a towel over his shoulder and swaying his hips to the 60’s blues music playing in the bar. I closed my eyes for a second, burying my face in my hands.

“Uh-oh. I know that look. Trouble in paradise?” Marvin came back, setting my drink in front of me.

“Paradise? Like there ever was.” I snorted, lifting the glass off the counter and bringing it to my lips. Before drinking it I took in the smell, sending shivers down my spine. It’s been so long.

I drank it all at once, allowing the contents to gradually slither down my throat. This was indeed one of the shittiest tasting drinks I’d tend to order, but it did the job right. 75.5% alcohol is no joke.

Considering I haven’t drank in a while, two of these and I’d be done for the day. I could just sit here and wallow in my own piss and misery; Marvin knows my routine.

I got up from my seat, the room slightly swaying, and walked over to the jukebox. I put in a dollar, selecting a good Grunge shuffle. Lithium by Nirvana started blasting throughout the bar and I smiled to myself. With some effort, I walked back to where I was sitting and plopped myself on the bar stool.

“Your taste in music hasn’t changed. Can I get you anything else?” Marvin chuckled as he wiped a glass dry.

“Another double shot.” I slurred, resting my face on the counter.

“Alright, but if I give you this now, you can’t have another one later. It’s regulation with 151.” The Barman stared at me knowingly. I scoffed, that was bullshit. Everyone knows there’s no ‘regulations’ at The Red Bay, he was just saying that because he didn’t want to scrape me off the floor later.

“Whatever.” I murmured, combing my hair back with my fingers. Within a minute my drink was in front of me again. I took this one in slowly, wanting to feel the pure disgust in the back of my throat. On the fourth sip I started gagging, but I forced the liquid down nonetheless.

“That looked brutal. You sure you’re okay?” Marvin raised an eyebrow.

“Fuckin’ fantastic.” I laughed softly yet painfully. I could hear more words being spoken to me but my eyes felt too heavy to stay awake. I rested my arms and head on the counter, slowly allowing peace and darkness to envelop me.

I’m so tired of other people controlling my life. I choose my own destiny.

The remnants of my last thoughts echoed back and forth till I finally zoned out, sleep taking over.

…

I felt a hand nudge my shoulder, and my eyes fluttered open.
“Hey, wake the hell up. I don’t want to have to kick you out again.” A voice spoke into my ear. I groggily raised my head, the sounds of chatter and business flourishing all around me. My eyes scanned the room to see it’d filled up considerably. I caught sight of the night sky through a window. How long was I out?

“What happened?” My eyebrows furrowed as I felt a familiar pounding inside my skull. My stomach was swimming in circles as well; I could taste a mixture of bile and rum at the back of my throat.

“After that second Double, you just blacked out for 4 hours on the counter. I’d let you keep sleeping but my manager wants to kick you out.” Marvin frowned at me, a supporting hand on my back.

“Fuck. Alright, I’ll leave.” I slurred, trying to stand and having to grip the counter for support.

“Sorry buddy. Do you want me to call you a taxi?” He asked, helping me hoist myself up.

“Yes.” I replied. “Can you hand me my briefcase?” I pointed to the slump of faux leather underneath the chair I was sitting on. If I bent down to get it, there’s a possibility I won’t get back up. And another possibility the contents of my stomach would make an appearance.

The Barman reached down and scraped the bag off of the floor, laying it flatly in my arms. I nodded graciously and slung it over my shoulder, slowly turning around and walking towards the doors. Any sudden movements and I really did fear I would vomit.

“Hey! Gerard!” Marvin called over to me; I stopped in my tracks cursing under my breath. I was not about to walk back over there.

“What?” I groaned tilting my head back slightly and placing my hand over my stomach to emphasize how shitty I was feeling.

“You forgot this.” He held a medium-sized notebook in his hands, walking up to me so I could take it.

“That’s not mine.” I grimaced at him.

“Are you sure? I didn’t see anyone else leave it here.” His eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s not. Throw it away or something.” I grumbled.

“Oh come on, just take it. It’s still in pretty good condition, saves a couple dollars.” He gestured for me to accept it.

I thought for a minute, since I’m going to have to start saving money big time I might as well start with this. I shrugged and took the notebook, shoving it into my briefcase.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, turning back around and heading for the doors.

When I got outside, the cold air whipping against my face came as a shock and I stumbled back a little. I kept walking, but forgetting how steep the stairs were I tumbled down the second step, somehow landing harshly on my back. I groaned in pain then moved over on my side so I wouldn’t choke on my own vomit. Pedestrians walking by wore disgusted looks and quickly walked around me.

Yeah, It’s not like I need help or anything.

When I was done emptying my stomach on the sidewalk I tried to stand, a severe pain shooting through my side. I limped over to the side of the street to wait for my taxi to come.

I closed my eyes and leaned against a street lamp, the cold bitter New Jersey wind chilling me to the bone. I pulled out a water bottle from my bag so I could wash my mouth out; it was already practically frozen.

I couldn’t even afford a proper coat. Everything I’ve done up to this point, it’s all been for nothing if I can’t even buy warm clothes.

Maybe you should have went and bought a coat instead of alcohol! My innermost thoughts mocked and taunted me.

“Fuck me.” I grumbled to myself.

“I can do that.” A woman’s voice approached me. I didn’t even turn to look at her, I just groaned in response.

“I don’t have any money. Leave me alone.” I cringed.

“I’m not asking for money.” She chuckled softly. I opened my eyes to look at her and raised an eyebrow. She was a petite thing. Short black hair, round eyes, puckered lips.

“Like I said, leave me alone.” I glared at her. What kind of prostitute offers to fuck for free?

“Oh come on old man, when’s the last time you got laid?” She smirked at me. I stared her up and down; she wasn’t unattractive.

“Are you a prostitute?” I squinted my eyes at her.

“No! I’m just a young lady looking to get some action. How bout it?” She batted her eyelashes at me. At this point my taxi drove up, I opened the door and stepped in.

“Well come on then.” I mumbled, scooting over so she had somewhere to sit. Her eyes lit up and she squealed, jumping inside the taxi.

“I can’t believe you said yes.” She giggled. I glared at her; hoping to god she isn’t the clingy type.

“Well, I figure this day can’t get any worse so I might as well make the most out of it.” I shrugged.

“34 Parkway Drive.” I said to the taxi driver, he nodded and set the meter to 3 dollars.

“So, tell me about yourself. What do you do?” She linked her arm with mine.

“This isn’t going to be a talking thing is it? Listen sweetheart, I’ve had a bad day so if you’re not just here for a quick fuck you might as well get out now.” I gestured to the car door. At this point the taxi driver gave me a disapproving look through the rear view mirror.

Oh fuck him, what the hell does he know?

“Fair enough.” She unlinked her arms with mine, her demeanor suddenly changing. Something was off about this; she was still following me home? There was something in it for her, there had to be.

There was a new look in her eyes, a seriousness that wasn’t apparent before. It was almost dangerous. That whole cute girl act was fake.

“Are you a con artist?” I suddenly asked. Her eyes widened in response.

“What kind of a question is that?” She laughed nervously.

“A serious one. Let’s just be real with each other, why exactly are you following me home? Are you planning on robbing me? I assure you there is nothing of value in my apartment.” I looked her dead in the eyes. She pondered for a minute.

“Well In that case then yeah, I was planning on robbing you.” She gave an unashamed shrug. There was complete silence in the taxi for the next 5 minutes.

“Do you still want to have sex?” She suddenly piped up. I stared at her briefly before pulling her into my lap and crashing my lips onto hers. She entangled her fingers in my hair and laughed playfully into the kiss. I moaned as she grinded up against my crotch, the friction in our jeans sparking a match of pleasure.

“Please, if you could hold off till you reach your destination. There is another person in this car.” The taxi driver spoke into a little microphone, he sported a thick Indian accent.

In response I flicked him off through the rear-view mirror, and kissed the girl more aggressively. She purred in approval, our tongues dancing in each other’s mouths.

Around two minutes later the car abruptly stopped, causing us to topple over each other.

“Pay up and get out.” The taxi driver said, glaring at the both of us. I looked out the window to see we’d already arrived at my apartment.

“Very well,” I pulled out my wallet and handed him 15 dollars, he yanked it out of my hands and I snorted. The minute the girl and I stepped out of the taxi it sped off.

“Follow me.” I grabbed her wrist, leading her into the apartment complex.

-

“Fuck. Right there baby.”

I thrusted into the dark-haired girl, the heat of her body resonating off of mine. Her moans grew louder and more intense as I sped up. I gripped the headboard, groaning as I released into her.

She gasped in satisfaction as our orgasms seemed to meet each other. I pulled out, slipping off the condom and tossing it into a bin. I collapsed beside her, closing my eyes and pulling her towards me.

“Oh, special treatment?” She mumbled into my chest.

“Yeah.” I grunted, slowly falling into sleep’s grip. I didn’t care if she left, took my shit, I was just too tired. She could do whatever the hell she wanted.

…

I awoke maybe an hour or two later, it was still dark outside. The girl whose name I did not know was curled up in a ball next to me, lightly snoring. I figured she’d have left the moment I fell asleep. I carefully crawled off the bed, so as to not wake her.

I reached for her purse and pulled out her wallet, the least I could do was learn her name. I found two ID cards, one that read ‘Margaret Benichi” and one that read “Elizabeth Tanner”. They both looked like her so I couldn’t be sure which one was actually hers.

I pulled out another two employee cards, one that said she worked at Barnes and Noble and one that said she worked at… Visillica Comics?

Why was an employee of the company that just fired me sleeping in my bed? Something wasn’t right; this appeared to be too big of a coincidence.

She definitely has some explaining to do when she wakes up.

I put everything back in her purse, pulling out a pack of cigarettes I found instead. I lit one up and sat at the table inside my kitchen.

I inhaled, taking in all that had happened today, and exhaled letting it go just the same. I repeated several times, blowing out thin streams of smoke all over my kitchen.

I guess I could draw. I thought to myself, retrieving my briefcase and my sketching pencils. I pulled out the notebook Marvin gave me earlier. He was right; it did look brand new.

There was gold inscription on the front of it reading “Creatio ex Deo”. Was that latin? I shrugged and opened up the first page, it appeared to be blank. Why did someone just leave a blank sturdy little sketching book like this in a bar? Based on the material of the paper and bindings, it had to have cost around 30 dollars.

I began to look over my manuscripts from earlier. I felt little stabs of anguish in my chest as I gazed upon my finished work. A piece of shit? I put my heart into this.

The story was called Asbury Ville, it takes place in modern day New Jersey. It’s sort of like a grotesque paranormal version of Twin Peaks. Except it’s more centered around the cop meeting this girl when he comes to town. Boo, the carnivorous vampire.

Not only does she feed on the blood of living things, but she feeds on the meat as well. Much more gnarly. Main differences from the traditional vampire is that she can walk in sunlight, and garlic doesn’t make a difference. She can be killed with a stake to the heart, or by fire.

So, soon after the cop finds out what she is, he finds out the entire town is crawling with supernaturals too, and his new assistant can shapeshift. Basically, they all solve crime together, defeat the bad guys, and work to keep the secret of the town at all costs blah blah. You get the picture.

It was going great, I thought. The boss seemed to really like the first chapter I did. I grimaced; something was telling me I was going to start hating this story.

I felt like it failed me, I felt like my mind failed me. It was this story’s fault everything was fucked up now.

I crumpled up the manuscript and threw it in the trash. Maybe I should start on something new?

I opened up the notebook Marvin gave me, new notebook new ideas? I unzipped my pencil case and grabbed a fresh piece of charcoal.

I started out by drawing a woman’s body, careful to make it proportional since I wasn’t using a pencil. This was just sort of a warm up so it didn’t really matter what I drew in any case.

Before I knew it, when I started drawing her face and hair, it turned into Boo. I cursed my subconscious for not allowing me to escape the story I created. I’d wanted it to take off so bad.

I wish I could be writing the next chapter now instead of sitting here remorseful.

I shook my head as I finished the drawing, staring at it in all its glory. Before I could feel any more regrets I slammed it shut and shoved it back into my briefcase.

I just needed to sleep it off. I knew I wasn’t going to feel better in the morning but sleep seemed like the better alternative anyways.

I crawled back into bed, causing the girl from earlier to stir.
“Shh. Go back to sleep.” I whispered to her. She sort of made an “Mmm” sound and closed her eyes again.

I rested my head on my pillow, starting at her sleeping face as I tried to fall back asleep.

Please don’t be here when I wake up, I thought. There was just no place for anyone else in my life right now.

Before I knew it I’d drifted off to sleep again, turning my back to the young girl.

…

When I woke this time, I could tell it was morning. I rolled over in my bed to find it absent of the nameless girl I’d slept with.

There was an unpleasant smell filling my nostrils and it caused me to crinkle my nose. I got out of bed, pulling on a pair of shorts and going to investigate the cause of the stench.

Before I entered the kitchen, my foot stepped in something sticky. I lifted it to find it drenched in a dark red liquid. Was that blood? My eyes widened.

I hurriedly followed the trail of red substance into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks when I discovered what it led to.

The girl from earlier was lying on the linoleum floor, all blood drained from her face leaving her lips blue and lifeless. I started puking as I noticed a portion of her leg had been chewed off, the bone lying lifelessly next to her. For such a gruesome death, there was surprisingly very little blood.

I dropped to my knees, unsure of how to feel or how to respond. Normally you’d think someone would start screaming when they saw something like this, but I was still trying to discern whether this was a dream or reality.

I wiped my mouth, wondering how my stomach still had contents to share with the floor.

Now maybe it was the lack of blood that prevented me from seeing this clearly. I don't know what it was but I could only sit there, frozen and unable to look away. It didn’t occur to me that I could maybe be in danger either; I was completely petrified.

As it started to sink in, a single tear rolled down my face. I didn’t even know her name.

All of a sudden I heard shuffling behind me, my head snapped back, fear rising in the pits of my stomach. A figure began to crawl over to me, coming out of the bathroom.

Who the fuck was here?! Is it the killer?! My mind screamed at me to get out of the room and run as far away as possible for my own safety. I remained petrified.

The figure came into my line of sight and my jaw dropped to the floor.

Boo?
Her eyes lit up when she saw me looking in her direction.

“Feed Me Gerard!” She sprung up joyfully.

The blood curdling scream that escaped my throat was like none other I’d ever screamed before.

Notes

HELLO! I'm darkcloudsform and I bring to you one of my latest creations, Little Notebook of Horrors <3 PLEASE do comment your feelings on this and how you like it so far. If it's not something you guys want to read, then I don't want to continue it. This took quite a few hours to write, so taking a few seconds to comment would really help me out. Plus, it'd motivate me to update this soon : D Thank you so very much for reading and have a wonderful day <3