The Ghost of You

“Adele, fetch the anesthetics won’t you?” The head nurse yelled from across the room.

“But ma’am, these are reserved for surgical procedures. We don’t have nearly enough supplies, and I’ve been ordered to-“

“You get me those anesthetics now or I’ll have you shipped off to Iraq!” She screamed.

“Ma’am, I absolutely cannot. There are 2 soldiers that have had to endure amputations without any kind of anesthetic, one of which have died because they went into shock, all because you’ve used it selfishly!” I pressed my palm to my forehead in distress.

“Did you not hear me? Do you want me to send you to Iraq? Get them NOW.”

“I’d sooner be sent to that shit hole than let you steal this medicine any longer! How can you possibly fill your veins with the very thing keeping our troops alive?” I was fuming at this point.

“Listen hunny bun, they’re all going to die either way. There’s no future for an injured veteran in this economy. We’re doing them a favor, puttin’ them out of there misery.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“I’m done! You can take your goddamn drugs and send me to hell for all I care. I’m done!” I screamed at her.

“Oh sweetie, you just sealed your own fate.” She puffed on her cigarette, chuckling to herself.

“I’m done!” I screamed again, storming out of the room.

-

I stood outside of the command sergeant major’s office, holding my heart in my hands.

This was it, I’d be given my orders and forgotten about like the rest of the rats of Bodem. The mortality rate for soldiers and marines in Bodem was about 95.8%. The mortality for nurses being 98.

Why you might ask? When you go to Bodem, you never come back the same.

A great amount of the deaths that occur in Bodem are from individuals that have taken their own lives. Only the purest kind of scum survive in this kind of place.

And for a young female war nurse in Bodem? There was no ‘reporting sexual assault’. It didn’t matter to anyone, and if you were to try to cause problems you’d suddenly ‘disappear’, and no one would question it. Dead. Handed over to the Iraqis, tortured, humiliated. They’d sell my organs, defecate on my body.

I was starting to think I hadn’t thought this through, that it’d have been better if I just kept my mouth shut, followed orders. There’s no justice in this world. There’s only getting by, survival of the fittest. There’s no room to be a moral person.

“Adele.” A husky voice called my name from inside the office.

“Yes, sir?” I said quietly.

“Permission to enter, let’s have a talk.”

I slowly walked into the room, keeping my head low and avoiding eye contact. I sat on the leather sofa across from the major’s desk, folding my arms and crossing my legs.

“Ariel Nadiscka, your head nurse, has been sent to prison.” He said bluntly.

What did this mean? My heart fluttered for a split second.

“An investigation was already being held over the missing supply in anesthetics and mood stabilizers. When we received the report of one of our most capable nurses stealing the supplies today, we looked further into it. We tested both Miss Nadiscka and you on urine samples and you came out clean. Her on the other hand…” He folded his hands.

“Wha- where did you get urine?” I raised an eyebrow.

“That’s confidential, ma’am.”

I shuttered, every hair on my body standing up.

“S-So what happens now?” I tried to remain positive, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

“You’re not completely in the clear. There’s evidence that you’ve helped in smuggling the drugs. You are after all one out of the 5 nurses stationed on this base with the clearance to access them. Everyone else has been investigated, but it all points back to you.”

“Bodem?” My voice trembled.

“It’s a possibility. The higher ups have recognized that you were pressured into committing the felony by your peer, Miss Nadiscka. But the offense is still there.” He sighed.

“You’ll be sent to Indal, Afghanistan for 3 months. A little ways away from here. But if you screw up, even once, you’ll be sent to Bodem for the rest of your deployment, and let go with a dishonorable discharge. They’ve got their eyes on you. And I’ll warn you, Indal is no Bodem. But they do things differently over there, it’s a game of power. A young lady like yourself is vulnerable, you need to be careful. Get mixed up with the wrong people, and they’ll have your fate in their hands. You’ll be a deer in the headlights over there.”

“Is… is that all?” My eyes began to well up with tears.

“That will be all. Take care Miss Adele. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Play your cards right and you’ll be out of there in no time.” He smiled.

“Thank you so much sir. Really, I can’t thank you enough.” I sighed in relief, gathering my composure.

“You leave tonight.”

I nodded and proceeded to exit the room, my thoughts racing.

What did this mean? Indal? It was better than Bodem of course, but I was scared nonetheless. I don’t know what to expect.

Notes

HIYAH, very excited to start writing this one i've got a lot of great ideas! Lemme know what you think of it!

x darkcloudsform