Sex and violence.

Gerard P.O.V

My eyes stayed glued to the scene, the way Frank just towered over her. The sounds that carelessly floated through out the room. I couldn't bare to watch it anymore.

My legs silently bolted up the stairs, tears were already staring to form in my eyes. What the fuck was that for? I though frank left Chelsea... if he was still with her why the hell did he kiss me?

Why did he make me leave Drew as a friend, why did he keep us from kissing? If he has a girlfriend why does he have to fuck with my love life? Does he just not want me to love anyone?

I don't even know what to think anymore, thoughts just continue to stomp around in my head with rage. Anger about Frank, how I actually thought he liked me. But yet again. Who the fuck would like an orphan?

I was right, it's not going to change. Nothing is, I was just never meant to be happy. I'm just here to feel fucked up like always. To scar my own skin, that's the only thing running through my mind.

I've been clean from it for four months but now I couldn't really give a shit. The only thing from holding me back is I don't know what to even do it with.

Scissors? No, not sharp enough. Kitchen knife? No, dad uses those... Wait

Frank's in art, and one of our projects needed razors for cutting tiny details in paper. Yeah! That.. but where are they?

My feet just stomp all the way to the kitchen, raiding through cabinets. Finding only pots, pans and spices until I reach a drawer by the sink...

And there it is.. A blue box of different razor shapes. Thick and thin ones. Perfect.

I slip back into my room, making sure me feet don't make a sound as I slip behind my door. Shutting it behind me.

I don't even wait ten seconds before I rip my shirt off, choosing which razor should do the job.

My fingers clutch the thickest one I could find, holding it up to my rib cage. Pressing down on my skin, letting it sink in my flesh before I tear it across my side. Right away, blood spills from the slit in my side. I absorb the pain, this is what I deserve.

I'm just ruining their life, I slide the metal against my side again. I actually thought he loved me, I press the razor down on my skin harder. Ripping it across faster and harder, causing tears starting to form in my eyes.. no, I can't stop now.

My eyes gaze at the three slashes on my side. Blood continuing to spill out, drenching my side. Dripping on to the floor, I know they're deep but why am I bleeding this much?

I don't even think twice about it, I just switch to my arm.

Like my sides, I let it set in my skin. But right away blood slips from the sides. I didn't even run it across yet..

Fuck it, who the hell cares?

I hold my breath as I cut deep up my arm. From my wrist to mid fore arm, staring at the blood flow out from the deep slit.

My sides tickle as blood doesn't stop running out from there... I've done this enough times before that I'm not supposed to bleed this much... but that's what I get for being a complete idiot.

But since.. this is Frank's room and I shouldn't really ruin it... I run over to the bathroom, ripping through the medecine cabinet. Grabbing gauze and a wet towel. Wiping the blood away.. wrapping my fore arm in gauze before spinning it around my waist.

On the way back my mind is blank. I don't think about Frank, not Chelsea. Not even about how bad I fucked up my own flesh.

Notes

Short update about Gerard's reactions, sorry if it was disturbing. I kinda cringed by the way I worded it.