Sex and violence.

"Gerard.. you have to go to a doctor.." Drew runs over to me, trembling. His pants still falling down and his hair a mess.

"No." I protested as I sat with my back against the wall.

"Gerard.. You puked blood.. that isn't right." His voice is filled with fear.. I only feel worse when I reject his call for help.

"I'm fine." I stated.

"Please... just a check up. Nothing serious.. Just please." Drew insisted.. Should I go? I mean, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with me. It's just from stress. That's all. But if it makes him happy..

"Fine." I say bluntly.

"Thank you, now c'mon lets go home." He reaches his hand out, his wrists bruised and red. This is all my fault.
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Right when Drew helped me walk inside I was ready to pass out. Even my legs started to refuse moving as we climbed the stairs, turning a corner to his room. I just collapse on his bed, I don't even care if I'm still in my clothes. I'm not getting up, no.

I rub my face in his pillow as I burry myself under his blankets. Their warmth makes me feel more comfortable.. Like I'm at home.. In Frank's bed. The other side of the mattress dips as Drew crawls under the blanket too.. I expected him to maybe put his arm around me or something... but he doesn't. Our backs just face each other. And that's how it went, I fell asleep moments later.

I didn't dream that night... well I don't think I did. All I saw was darkness. Black, and pain. I felt pain, the pain in my stomach. The pain in my head and the pain in my heart.. I let this happen. I let Drew get raped and it was all my fault.. I don't understand why he hasn't walked away from me. If I were him, I wouldn't think twice about leaving me. I mean, it didn't even phase me.. I didn't phase me that I was pinned against a wall. It didn't fuck with my head when Chris started taking my shirt off.. Sure I was scared, but I wasn't scared as I should've been. I wasn't even scared for myself, just Drew. I was scared for him, with him being so close to the other side.. It was wrong, so wrong..
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Guess where I am now? Yeah the waiting room to see a fucking doctor. I don't need one, I'm fine. I never saw a doctor for about eight years, I'm fine. I can do well on my own.

"Gerard, why is your leg shaking like that?" Just like that I'm snapped back into reality.. Wait what?
I look down at my leg and sure enough it is shaking.. Bouncing from my anxiety and I didn't even notice.. I'm just exhausted and don't feel like moving in anyway and here's my leg just going insane.

"Umm.. I just don't feel like I need to be here. I'm fine." I spit out my words, my emotions make them sound harsh.. but really when I'm just so frustrated at myself...
"Gerard, its just a check up. Besides, it might help you in the future maybe-"

"Gerard Way?" My head turns to the voice.. sure enough the doctor.

"umm.." I hesitate to even leave my seat, but Drew's quick to stand up, walking in front of me.

"C'mon. I'll hold your hand." He smiles, letting his hand out.. I just look at it for a few seconds before grabbing it.. Well fuck.

"So, what brings you here today?" He leads us in a room, I sit up on the examination table. Crinkling the tissue paper on it. I bite my lip intensively as I look at Drew. Hoping he'd tell him but he just looks at me, telling me to do it on my own..

"Umm, well I've been puking a lot and I lost some weight I guess and I'm tired all the time. I think it's just stress I don't know." My words start out slow, but I throw them out as fast as I could. I just want to get out of here.

"Woah, slow down there." He chuckles before clicking his pen, about to write on a clipboard. "When did this all start?"


"Well.. I guess like about a week ago, but it's just getting more frequent.. with the puking." Drew nods at me, telling me I'm doing great. Fuck that, this is horrible.

"Well, let's just check your vitals and we'll see what I can find." I listen to his pen hit the paper one last time before he sets in down on his table. Putting drops of hand sanitizer on this palm.. I can smell it from here. "Could you lay down for me, Gerard?" And I do just that.

He checks my heart, blood pressure. The way I breathe, my temperature. Looking in my eyes and ears.. which I don't know why then lastly checking my throat. His expression stays the same through all of it as he writes everything down.. I still can't help but get nervous.

"Well, I didn't find anything unusual. But by the symptoms it seems like you just caught the flue or a nasty cold. Don't worry. Give it a week and you should be feeling peachy." He smiles, lifting his head from the clipboard.

Thank god! These doctors can kiss my ass.

I'm quick to hop off the table, Drew just staring at me his eye brows folded in confusion. His eyes giving me that 'what are you doing?' look. Then I turn around, am I able to leave? "Um, we're done right?" My voice filled with anticipation.

"Yeah, you're free to go. Just make sure to come back if it lasts longer than a week. Alright?" I smile back, nodding in thanks before running out of the office. Walking quick back outside as Drew tries catching up to me.

"See, I told you it was nothing."

Notes

But is it just a cold? The flu? (; but yeah, Gerard hates doctors. Well, I think he just hates the fact that everyone thinks something's wrong with him.