I Never Knew What to Say

CHAPTER 5
~Gerard~
We head upstairs to sort out the spare bedroom, I head straight for the airing cupboard and grab bed linen. “I keep forgetting you technically lived here for four years and know where everything is” he giggles at me as we walk into the spare bedroom my hands full of bed linen. I pass Frank the sheet so he can help me put it on the mattress as he tucks in the last corner I look at his tattoos.
“I never noticed how many tattoos you have” he giggles cutely at me.
“How could you not, in four years?” I shuffle my feet nervously
“I never looked… I kept your privacy but… you are standing there in just pyjama trousers… I can’t help but look” I smile and look into his eyes.
“You like what you see?” he holds out his arms smiling.
“Maybe” I grab the duvet, Frank grabs the duvet cover we finish making the bed in silence. “Tomorrow I’m going to need to buy some clothes, you want to come?”
“You have money?” I pull a wallet out of my pocket.
“The cards still work. My bank reactivated my accounts that my mum and Mikey couldn’t access. A savings account and debit account. So yeah, I have money” I smile and climb into the bed “So you going to help me go shopping?”
“Sure, goodnight Gerard”
“Goodnight Frank” He turns the light off on his way out then I pull everything but my boxers off and try to go to sleep… my wrists ache.

~Frank~
Once I leave his room I go to my own, I close the door and crawl under my duvet and think about all the things that have happened today. I am just dropping off when I hear a quiet knock at my bedroom door. I sit upright quickly and shuffle over to my door and open it slowly. Gerard is standing there in nothing but his boxers looking sad. “My wrists hurt and I’m cold…”
“Grab a blanket they’re in the airing cupboard and the painkillers are in the drawer next to the back door…”
“I know…”
“Then why…?”
“No reason…” he pads off quietly to the top of the stairs before beginning to cry
“Gerard? What’s wrong?” he runs downstairs so I give chase “Stop running you idiot you are going to hurt yourself!” I keep running towards the kitchen
“Maybe I will die properly! Just like I deserve!” I spin round and go to the living room where he is hiding
“You do not deserve to die…” I have a look around the living room finding him curled up in the corner between the end of the sofa and wall “Don’t do that, what about your family?”
“They hate me, remember?” Do I dare tell him I’d miss him? Do I dare reveal how much I like him? I reach over and gently brush some of his hair out of his face giving him a smile. “You look really cute when you smile, I always thought that…” his face drops when he realises what he said “When I said I had feelings for you, before Mikey…” he pauses obviously thinking of how angry his brother is.
“I know you meant as a friend Gerard, no worries” I yawn and he giggles
“Go to bed, I need painkillers” I head back to bed but can’t sleep, I really want to tell him, he acts oddly around me. I tiptoe to his room and slip under the covers, the pillow smells of him slightly. I remember thinking I should leave the bed again but drop off very quickly, forgetting myself.

~Gerard~
“I know you meant as a friend Gerard, no worries” he yawns, obviously tired, its cute though… enough to make me giggle
“Go to bed, I need painkillers” he shuffles off looking so cute when he’s tired. Damn it ‘as a friend’ that’s not what I meant Frank… but you don’t want me, I’m broken. I walk into the kitchen, the tiles are cold under my feet so I move quickly to the drawer and take some pills to stop the throb in my wrist. Heading upstairs I begin to yawn. As I head in I realise someone is already in my bed… I quietly walk over, thanking Frank for putting carpet in last year… badly, the thought makes me smile. I look at the person in my bed and recognise the sleeping figure of Frank straight away. “Frank what are you up to?” His eyes open suddenly
“W-what?”
“You’re in my bed…”
“Oh… it’s because you smell nice” oh dear I’ve seen him do this sometimes, he is speaking and sort of aware of his surroundings but is also asleep.
“Frank you’re doing the sleep nonsense thing again” he sits up and looks at me
“I’m not asleep Gerard.” He looks straight at me “I meant it.” I sit on the bed next to him and he puts his head on my shoulder “Even if you only like me as a friend, I have always liked you… your smile that would light my day up when I saw it, the times I have seen you looking at me. When I was sad you looked lost, like you wished you could fix it”
“I didn’t know you could see nor hear me let alone be able to comfort you” I fiddle my fingers feeling so ashamed for never trying.
“You have been a friend to me, for four years you have kept me grounded. Whenever I was sad I would see you and it made me feel better that you cared even if you never spoke to me. Now I know why, at least.” He begins to rub his hand on my arm “Oh my, you are very cold” I shiver and giggle
“Well, you’re hot.”
“My brain wishes you meant something else by that” He stops doing it and leaves the bed and walks over to the door. “I wish we could be more Gerard but I am willing to settle for friends”
“When did I say we were just friends?” I can’t help but smirk a little
“But… downstairs… Mikey?”
“You already know I’m gay Frank and I already said I have feelings for you…”
“I assumed…”
“Then you shouldn’t have” I open my arms and smile, offering a hug
“I... wow… okay…” he slowly walks over and sits in my lap as I hug him tight and roll over. I pull the blanket over us and smile at him. “Really?”
“Really. Now give me some of that warmth you git” he keeps close and we fall asleep together. This has been the best day of my life.

Notes

sorry for the late update, I have trouble being creative when I'm feeling down but in an up moment (or three) i did this for you guys.
Enjoy my lovelies!
~frankieroisasnowflake