The Screaming Hope

I look at the clock.
For the seventy seven time, at least. The hour feel like it's ten more. No talks, no laughing. Everything's quiet. The atmosphere is heavy, ungrateful. The lesson is boring, infinite. The teacher? Incompetent, uncaring, unable to teach. What would be the world's sign of the disgusting society? Teachers become unable to teach. Well, that's quite pathetic.
They think I'm arrogant, condescending. I'm just aware of what's going on, so I pretend to not be part of it. That's all.
I don't know where is my place anymore. Everything is quiet, but so loud at the same time, tearing my ears and my mind apart. I feel useless. Well, I try my best to help people, but there will always be something more that I could do but I don't. I'm numb. I'm hypocrite. It's getting pretty hard to feel cozy in your life nowadays. The only place you're truly free is cozy in your dreams.
Dreams. They are so powerful but so subjective at the same time.
I dream everyday. I even dream with my eyes open. I assume they are like escape gates for my body.
Of course, I used to feel happy. But only to feel. I never got to BE happy. I feel like I don't deserve it. But that's okay. Life goes on, and I believe in a better future once teenage angst is over. Oh yes, I fucking believe it.
Routine is doing pretty hard on me though. Waking up, drinking coffee, dressing up, doing my make up, and running out the door to school. Sitting. Chatting briefly. Listening. Dying.
How is it possible for the human body to create such hormones and mental signals to make the person feel this bad, but know what is going on inside them at the same time, making everything WORSE?
But aside, there is Love. And Art.
Two remarquably powerful things that hormones and mental signals can emphasize and make the person feel better.
In the dark there will always be brightness, no matter what.
I'm in the dark. Blinded. By. The. Fucking. Dark.
How can I see the fucking brightness then?

Notes

I can only post from my mp4, so if you think it's frickin messy, don't worry it's normal :) Hope you liked it tho :3